Victoria Derbyshire today - sharing birthing experiences online are scaring other women

[JoggerBottom]

Hi all,

VD is due to discuss that online sharing of your birthing experience is frightening to women and pregnant women to the point of developing a phobia.

I have shared my experience on here and came to MN for advice from others when pregnant with DD2. I went overdue and, I have to admit, became pretty scared. I read loads of overdue / induction threads and I think it did add to my fear a little...but the fear was already there IYSWIM?

What are your views on this? Did reading other birth experiences affect you when pregnant?

According to NHS figures for England, published in 2017, only 45% of births fell into this category. Therefore 55% of births were NOT normal or natural, and included c section, instrumental delivery, or tearing/episiotomy.

The NHS definition of 'normal' also means not induced and no epidural - I think it's probably the induction that rules quite a few births out. It does, however, include second-degree tearing - I think it's something like 85% of first births there's a tear, so if you rule that out the number of 'normal' births is much lower.

I hate the term 'normal birth'. I kept being told that mine was 'normal' and it felt both judgemental about other kinds of birth, and also a way of insisting that it was no big deal.

The internet has liberated a lot of women in terms of how easy it is to access information now. If we feel we are being provided with bias info from a care provider it’s easy enough to do our own research and source statistics and facts to inform our own decisions. Little wonder then why women are always being told ‘don’t google’. ‘internet is full of rubbish and misinformation’, ‘women’s horror stories’ and joking remarks about women ‘turning into dr google and suddenly thinking they are experts’.

I also think the shift in NICE guidelines for maternal request sections has opened up a lot more talk about birth trauma and birth fear, it seems only once you have women requesting c-sections that people start talking about why so many women are left traumatised or don’t want to attempt natural birth.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/sep/19/yes-hes-alive-but-im-not-ok-the-bloody-truth-about-childbirth

I think this whole idea that women are being scared smacks a little bit of trying to get women to shut up, know our place, not complain.

It should surely be framed as women being informed and prepared for childbirth. Which, let’s face it, is a scary prospect for anyone.

There's a long history of locking women out of control of our own childbirths, especially over the last 200 years in britain. It's not only a patriarchal power play. It is dangerous. So many of us suffer completely avoidable birth injury and trauma because of our lack of agency in pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood.

Forums like this are one of the few places we get to talk about childbirth. It is kept deliberately taboo in our culture.