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Original poster

Straw poll: if you married in the last 5 years, did you change your name or not?

181 replies

HerculesTheBerkules · 28/08/2018 13:19

Just talking about this at work, I thought more people changed their names than didn't, but colleague thought otherwise. What did you do? (Just curiosity, you don't have to explain your decision btw!)

OP posts:
hiptobeasquare · 28/08/2018 18:36

Kept mine. The kids are double barrelled.

GorgonLondon · 28/08/2018 18:39

Kept my name. Which is my name, not my father's.

My husband also kept his.

candlefloozy · 28/08/2018 18:40

Married a few months. Will eventually change my name

Original poster
HerculesTheBerkules · 28/08/2018 18:41

It's about 70/30 in favour of taking FILs DH name across the population as a whole OP.

I didn't know that, thanks Minge.

OP posts:
BestZebbie · 28/08/2018 18:42

I changed my surname to his, but this was partly because it was a second marriage for me and I was replacing the surname of my ex with the new surname.
When I first got married I had dropped my original middle name and replaced it with my maiden name (as a forename) by deed poll, so I am now Firstname Maidenname 2ndHusbandSurname, Mrs F. M. 2ndHus.

I have just been to a wedding where not only did the bride do the above (become Mrs 1stname HerMaiden Hissurname Mrs 1. H. Husbandsur) but the groom also changed his name and is now 1stname HerMaiden Hissurname, Mr 1. H. Hissurname.

TittyGolightly · 28/08/2018 18:42

Changed as did most people I know. I know wanting to have the same name was a factor in many couples with children getting married as the mums did not like having a different surname to their children.

Then why give them the father’s surname in the first place?

BeeFarseer · 28/08/2018 18:44

I changed mine. DH has already changed his surname once, and the change meant a lot to him. I wasn't as attached to my name, so I changed it.

GorgonLondon · 28/08/2018 18:45

Quite Titty. Our kids are now double-barrelled. Before we got married they just had my surname (his as a middle name).

patientzero · 28/08/2018 18:45

Getting married next month and won’t be changing mine. I think my bio dad is a cock but it’s been my name for 30 odd years, nothing to do with him.

Nightmanagerfan · 28/08/2018 18:48

Kept mine.

PatrickMerricksGoshawk · 28/08/2018 18:50

Getting married soon. We are both changing our names, to a name that is unrelated to either of our current surnames. Future FIL is not happy about it, but this thread is strengthening my resolve. No one (except me and my friends) would bat an eyelid if I changed my name to his, but because he is changing his it suddenly means he’s rejecting his parents Hmm

Redgreencoverplant · 28/08/2018 18:58

Married 2013 and we have both hyphenated our names. That is a popular choice among my friends :)

LittleMouseontheDairy · 28/08/2018 19:05

I married nearly 5 years ago and changed mine as I wanted us all as a family to share the same surname. Being a family unit is important to me.
I kept my maiden name as a middle name and my DC both have it as a middle name too. I also kept it professionally, which I enjoy.

theunsure · 28/08/2018 19:05

Changed mine (2014 wedding)

lulabaloo · 28/08/2018 19:08

I've been married 2 years and have changed my name, i wanted the same surname as my kids.

overandunder9 · 28/08/2018 19:08

Married last year. Kept mine.

LaPufalina · 28/08/2018 19:22

Married last year and changed mine (also a CA). Mine was a very common surname and it was my dad's stepdad's name so I wasn't particularly attached to it. All of my friends (mainly CAs) have changed theirs, too. I'm late 30s but those that got married 10+ years ago changed theirs too.
I feel a bit guilty about changing mine, feminism-wise, but they wouldn't double barrel well and I wanted us all to have the same name (had a baby DD already).

Sailinghappy · 28/08/2018 19:29

I took my husband’s surname when we married a couple of years ago. We now have a child and I love that we all share the same name and I see it as part of being a family unit. We could have chosen either his name or my name to use, but wouldn’t have double-barrelled because they were both far too long. We are very close to my husband’s family (but not mine), we all live close by and spend much of our time together. I also love being part of their family in name as well.

n0ne · 28/08/2018 19:49

Married 4 years ago, went double-barrelled but use my maiden name just as often, tbh.

MonumentVal · 28/08/2018 20:07

Been to 3 weddings this year (after a decade off!)
1 took her new husband's name to get rid of the previous husband's name she took as a teenager.
1 pair double-barrelled their names together
1 husband took his wife's surname, I suspect at least partly to wind up the side of his family who think that's terrible.
A few took husbands' names previously but again mostly had been married before and changed then, and now wanted to change away given the ease of doing so.

AC14MUZ · 28/08/2018 20:09

Changed mine immediately, couldn't wait to get rid of my maiden name.

TeaAndBisquits · 28/08/2018 20:17

Yes, I changed my name. Married 3 years this year.

reddressblueshoes · 28/08/2018 20:35

Kept. Silently judge 30-something women who change, even more so those who do it in a professional setting- do what you want in your private life but requiring me to guess why your email address suddenly doesn't work is a bit ridiculously us.

I don't get the 'it being my fathers name' thing- it's the name I've had since birth, for more than thirty years when I got married. My parents chose my first name, is that not mine either?

DollyWilde · 28/08/2018 20:35

Those decisions aren’t made in a vacuum, and they impact more widely on society and future generations of girls.

I earn vastly more than DH, he is likely to be SAHP and I manage a team whereas he is a creative. Am I doing enough for a future generation of women or does my decision to share a name with him undo all that, @tittygolightly?

TittyGolightly · 29/08/2018 00:22

Changed mine immediately, couldn't wait to get rid of my maiden name.

Unless you married on your 18th birthday, you evidently could.