Straw poll: if you married in the last 5 years, did you change your name or not?

[HerculesTheBerkules]

Just talking about this at work, I thought more people changed their names than didn't, but colleague thought otherwise. What did you do? (Just curiosity, you don't have to explain your decision btw!)

Certainly, at recent family weddings, the brides were very much "I'm changing my name because that's what you do".

For those who changed their name to that of their DH, did you consider your DH changing his surname to yours? If not, why not?

I married 25 years ago and it never occurred to me to change my name. I'm amazed people are still so convential.

No I kept my name. I am still Miss as well.

Attempted too but had been known by first husbands name for 40 years
So I’ve stuck with it

I get married on Friday and I’m changing mine.

I changed mine. I wanted us to all have the same family name. Unfortunately still working on DS1...

Married 2 years ago and changed it

No I kept my name. I am still Miss as well.
Same. Haven’t changed my name/title at all, although would prefer not to use a title.

I changed mine, but only because I associate my maiden name with my father, who I have a very difficult relationship with. It didn’t feel like ‘my’ name - it felt like his. So I was glad to be shot of it. Otherwise I think I would have kept my maiden name on principle.

Changed

Kept mine - it’s been 14 years. Don’t ever use DH’s surname or Mrs. Don’t know why anyone would (but I could say the same about Brexit, trump etc. Perhaps it’s just another sign that human intelligence is devolving.)

I changed

I changed mine. We already had DC who had DHs surname. I was just changing jobs so it was convenient to start new job with new name, same as DH and DC.

Changed mine at home but still use my own name professionally.

25 years ago
kept my birth name
now have ID to match kids/DH surname
but work in birth name

Kept my name and use Ms rather than Mrs

I was married eleven years ago. Changed my name at work and home. I felt like Charlie chalk, that it was swapping dc name for dh, both men. If I'd had my dm name or double barreled maybe it's have been a different decision. I am happy we all have the same name now dh and dc.

Albeit I only changed my driving license this year and I still have a credit card in my maiden name.

It's a personal decision and people have all different reasons and feelings about it. Most of my friends have also changed their names and they have degrees, postgrads, professional qualifications etc. I wouldn't judge anyone's choice either way.

I wouldn't judge anyone's choice either way.

I do. Those decisions aren’t made in a vacuum, and they impact more widely on society and future generations of girls.

No strictly answering the question but your 'maiden' name is still your fathers name so from a feminist pov you are still carrying a male name whether it is your husband or fathers name

There's always one.

If your name is your father's because it was his first and you got it from him, your husband's name isn't his either. It's his father's. So what you're actually choosing between is your DF and DFIL. If your husband's name is his, yours is yours. Be consistent.

It's about 70/30 in favour of taking FILs DH name across the population as a whole OP. But varies a lot. Some people come from cultures where it isn't done so they don't, so the rate amongst eg British Pakistanis would be lower than the population as a whole.

People keep saying it's a personal choice, but you're not making that choice in a vacuum, you're making that choice having grown up in a society that still expects women to change their names.

If it were really personal choice, the number of men changing their names would be roughly equal to the number of women. But it isn't, men just don't even think about changing their names.

I didn't change mine. I just didn't understand why I would. Makes no sense to me at all. I am always a bit surprised when people do, I thought it was a very dated custom.

No name change.

I thought it was a very dated custom.

It’s avtually a very sexist custom. Only women need to be branded/validated by the fact they have a husband.

Changed as did most people I know. I know wanting to have the same name was a factor in many couples with children getting married as the mums did not like having a different surname to their children.