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Original poster

Straw poll: if you married in the last 5 years, did you change your name or not?

181 replies

HerculesTheBerkules · 28/08/2018 13:19

Just talking about this at work, I thought more people changed their names than didn't, but colleague thought otherwise. What did you do? (Just curiosity, you don't have to explain your decision btw!)

OP posts:
sakuramiyagi · 28/08/2018 14:54

I change mine

OllyBJolly · 28/08/2018 14:56

I changed my name, to me the whole point of marriage is to be a family unit

I didn't change mine (married 2013) and don't believe we're any less of a family unit! Quite insulting thing to say really.

DameSylvieKrin · 28/08/2018 15:26

Kept.

Iwantaunicorn · 28/08/2018 15:40

Double barrelled ours, but book restaurants etc under his because mine is harder to spell and I’m lazy. Some of his family refuse to acknowledge he’s changed his Hmm

NameChangeCuddleBums · 28/08/2018 15:40

Changed but not for work

DollyWilde · 28/08/2018 15:52

AndInShortIWasAfraid "I'm a feminist but I really dislike my father so that was a huge motivation."

There was an element of that with me - I love my dad, but we have a tricky relationship and he can be very difficult. If I was going to share a name with any man I'd rather it was DH, who is far more supportive of me.

redannie118 · 28/08/2018 15:58

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, and so we've agreed to take this down now.

gabsdot · 28/08/2018 15:59

I've been to 8 weddings in the last 5 years and all the brides have changed their names to their husbands name

Stephisaur · 28/08/2018 16:01

Married last year.

Changed mine. Even got a postdated passport so that I could travel in my married name the next day for our Honeymoon.

I've never felt an emotional connection to my maiden name, so it really didn't bother me.

chipshape · 28/08/2018 16:02

Married 4 years and I didn't change my name. Our two kids have my surname too.

MeetOnTheLedge · 28/08/2018 16:04

I agree, the whole point of getting married is to be a family unit. Surnames have no bearing on that whatsoever. I kept my iwn and so did DH. More than 5 years ago though.

MeetOnTheLedge · 28/08/2018 16:05

Having said that, you can be unmarried and still be just as much a family unit.

BigBlueBubble · 28/08/2018 16:05

I kept my name. Didn’t like DH’s surname with my first name, plus it felt weird like giving up my identity. Also I was too lazy to change everything.

I don’t feel like the “odd one out”. We all have our own birth names. Mine is just different to the other people living in this house. We’re all fine with it - it’s usually inlaws and other people who are rude and judgmental about it.

I find it offensive for pp’s to suggest that you’re only a family unit if you all have the same name. There are many families where people aren’t married, have step kids, etc. They aren’t any less of a family just because they don’t have the same name.

Fluffybat · 28/08/2018 16:06

Changed mine

DoubleHelix79 · 28/08/2018 16:07

I kept mine. DD has both last names double-barrelled.

Verbena87 · 28/08/2018 16:09

Of our group of 5 close friends...

3 women changed their names
2 couples both changed their names (double barrel of both names)

cravingcake · 28/08/2018 16:32

Got married earlier this year, changed my name.

All the weddings i’ve been to in last 5 years (at least 4) bride has changed surname to Husband’s.

kaytee87 · 28/08/2018 16:37

Bit of both.

KatieMarieJ · 28/08/2018 16:38

My MD has, she took her maiden name as a married name. Both kids are double barrelled.

DollyWilde · 28/08/2018 16:43

8 weddings in the last five years, all of friends in our degree educated, home-owning professional early 30s group (context in light of some of the comments above). All 8 of the women marrying changed their names to their husband's.

Actually, the only woman I know who hasn't changed her name is a family member who had children from an earlier relationship - daughter has her maiden name, bio dad wouldn't agree to a surname change to step dad surname, so she's kept her maiden name as to have the same name as her daughter.

OhHolyJesus · 28/08/2018 16:48

Married 5 years, changed my name.

MrsRubyMonday · 28/08/2018 16:55

Married just over a year. Slightly different as we are both women, but I took her surname. No particular reason, we discussed picking a completely new name for both of us, or combining or double barrelling, but in the end, it just felt right to do it this way. I never met my grandfather, his name meant nothing to me although I think my dad would have liked me to keep it. My wife never met her father and has her mother's surname so it was nice to carry that on. Being an LGBT couple I think it's important to have the same name as people get confused easily when confronted with a non traditional family, and when we have kids we want to minimise that as much as possible.

FinallyARainbow · 28/08/2018 16:57

Changed. As have all my friends. And to go against the professional attainment point upthread we're all CAs so just changed our name with ICAS too.

MulticolourMophead · 28/08/2018 17:02

I don't have the same name as my DCs. Doesn't make us any less of a family unit.

I have noticed a trend locally, of young women changing their names in greater numbers, reversing a previous trend for keeping a birth name. Certainly, at recent family weddings, the brides were very much "I'm changing my name because that's what you do".

happymummy12345 · 28/08/2018 17:07

I changed mine. Would never not. We planned our wedding in 2 months so we could be married before I was showing. It was important to me to be married first and for us all to have the same name. (We went for our second scan after the wedding, first was before, the first thing I did was say I wanted my name changed straight away so my married name would be on the scan, and it was.