Thick people

[sonlypuppyfat]

Most evenings DD sits in the front garden letting her pet rabbit run around the lawn. He is a normal shaped rabbit black with sticking up ears. Two young boys around 15 or so walked past and one asked what sort of dog it was

My mums dad lives in New Zealand and during the royal wedding (Harry and Meghan) he told her he had been watching a live stream of it.
She genuinely believed that they got married twice, once for real and once for television. She couldn't understand how he watched it 12 hours ahead of us. I had to explain he got up in the middle of the night and live streamed it.

Me, luckily in my head, to myself.

I wonder who was king when those Victorian houses were built?

staydazzling - if you google that story it shows as being fake

Seen on FB- "what was the name of the boat that sank in that film Titanic?"

My well educated husband often does things round the house that make me think he might be (as well as very clever) quite thick too.

Staying in a holiday cottage by the sea, niece’s boyfriend in his 20s was surprised to see the tide was out when he woke up. We had to explain the tide came in then went out. He then said ‘that’s really cool, how often does it happen? Is it once a week?’

We had a list of things to sign up to bring for a Xmas party for a playgroup. There was a list of food items and then things like little gifts and decorations, including crackers. One mum wrote her name against the crackers and generously put an unasked for X2 .

On the day turned up with two packets of Jacobs Cream Crackers .

( not a language or cultural misunderstanding, btw)

DD does French A level and there's just her and one other girl in the class. One lesson last term, the teacher said to them, "now, get into pairs..."

They just goggled and said, well, shall we two work together?

Oh, the irony!

We were in the staffroom discussing exercise; someone said "well, Alison swims a mile every morning before work".
I pondered for a moment and said "where would she go to do that, the sea, I guess?"

I once had to explain to someone at work that potato scone is made of actual potato. She thought it was a normal scone shaped differently and fried instead of baked. The word potato in the name didn’t give it away apparently.

On returning from a holiday in Florida, DD1 was amazed at how fast the baggage appeared on the carousel.

Knowing what she's like I asked how did she THINK it got here so fast?

Turned out she thought the baggage carousel took our bags from The USA and went allllll the way to Heathrow.... on a conveyer belt under the sea

She was 16 at the time!!! (and she's now a Doctor... so technically shouldn't be thick!)

When I was a kid I asked my mum how they got the recycled toilet paper clean again. I genuinely thought there was some sewage processor that collected the toilet paper, washed it, dried it and resold it.

Man behind me with big jar of coins asks, "Does this thing take any money?" "Yes," I reply, "9.9%.".
"Er, wassat, then?" he says. "Almost 10%," I reply. "Wassat?"

Going OT but these machines are a horrendous rip-off. Especially if you actually need to be cashing in your change.

I shit you not this happened. The youth at my work place have no idea how and where to "put a stamp" on an envelope.

I give up

I once believed that the blood circulating our bodies was blue until it made contact with the air i.e. through a cut and then it turned red 😬 - no idea why!

Two young boys around 15 or so walked past and one asked what sort of dog it was 

Who is betting that the lads have gone home and told their parents about a 'thick' women who actually thought they were being serious when they asked what type of dog their rabbit was. 😉

Sorry, my page had t refreshed and I had missed out all the posts about it being a joke.

PlatypusPie I would have initially read the request for crackers to be for savoury plain biscuits too (Australian though). I presume "crackers" in that context must have been actually been for what I kmow as bon-bons?

when i brought my baby home from the hospital my brother asked when he’d be able to open his eyes. a few days later he said i couldn’t take the baby out until he’d had his jabs. had to explain that i’d given birth to a baby and not a puppy 😂 then again this is the same person who asked after my 20 week scan if it was ‘a boy, a girl, or bisexual.’

A friend of a friend told me I spoke perfect English and congratulated me for neutralising my foreign accent. I replied that I was born in England and learnt English at home just like she did. She was genuinely amazed, she thought because I looked foreign English was my second language.

Then she kept going on about how I must miss home to which I replied that I was home. She kept going on about my original home country, 'you know where you where born abroad'. I practically shouted at her by then that I was born in England and I haven't set foot in my home country abroad'. Could she not tell by my very local, broad accent that I was born in England.

I'm Canadian and worked at a Dairy Queen in a popular tourist area when I was in high school. Some of the best thick comments I've heard are:

-An American woman going on a 10 minute rant because the ATM didn't have an option for American dollars. (umm, sweetheart, you're in Canada).

-An American man asking me where we PUT the island in the harbor in the winter. (like we can move it or something)

• A British couple telling me that their plan for their 5 day vacation in Canada including driving from where we were (East Coast) to Vancouver, and stopping at Niagara falls for a couple of days on the way. I didn't have the heart to tell them it's an 8 day drive from the East Coast to the West Coast, and that's if you're driving at least 12 to 16 hours a day. I sincerely hope they didn't book their return flights from Vancouver.

Our book keeper uses Zero and she questioned an expense.
I said it was for merchandise.
Her response "so electricity"............

Ok so i have just googled if great Britain and The UK are the same thing. Im not gonna lie - im still not sure

I am 48 with a degree and PhD. Obviously not in geography!