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Original poster

How do you react when someone calls you fat?

54 replies

libertywoo · 19/08/2018 08:04

I’ve put on a bit of weight recently, I’m well aware of it. Been very anemic and low b12 which has left me with little energy so haven’t been as active, waking the dog is at a much slower pace as the low b12 was causing breathlessness.
Slowly getting back to normal and really not too concerned, for context I’m now a size 14.
Anyway a few months ago one of our neighbours had a party, I was laughing at something my husband said, and we both kind of sat down on the sofa at the same time. Like a flop down, the neighbour who was hosting the party muttered to himself something about Woo and her 22 stone.
I spoke to him about it the next day saying I don’t know what had happened that he’s switched from being life a soul to saying that about me. He was very embarrassed and said he was going to lay off the drink.
Last night he had a bbq, there was a big group of people there. My friend from my uni days was visiting so we took him to the party. Towards the end of the evening my friend was saying to me, woo, you’ve not changed at all. As he said that my neighbour shouted across the room, yes she has she’s got fat. He shouted it twice. Everyone heard it and looked a bit stunned. My friend ignored him and carried on chatting with me.
I’m really annoyed this idiot has made me feel so shit about myself, we left shortly after. My husband said he’s an arse and to ignore him, there was no point speaking to him that night due to his drunk state. Everyone else at the bbq just stopped, looked at him and carried on their conversation.
I’ve been replaying it all night in my head and getting quite upset. I thought this neighbour was my friend, clearly not and we won’t be going to any more of his parties.
My husband said he’s going to speak to him next time he sees him just to point out how unpleasant he was. I don’t know what changed from my neighbour being my supposed friend to this. He’s hardly svelte himself with a pretty large stomach, but I would never comment on that to him!
Anyway, anyone else had this? How do you react when someone calls you fat?

OP posts:
donquixotedelamancha · 19/08/2018 08:10

I can start losing weight tomorrow, but you will always be a cunt.

argumentativefeminist · 19/08/2018 08:12

If they don't say it in a horrible way, I don't care, because it's true for me although I wouldn't say at your size it's true for you. If they say it in a horrible way, I tell them to fuck off and mind their manners. It's definitely a problem with him rather than you!

fieryginger · 19/08/2018 08:22

I'm fat and nobody has ever called me fat to my face.

Your neighbour is a dick.

wildewillow · 19/08/2018 08:23

Tell him to fuck off and not speak to him again. He's not a friend. You don't need that kind of toxic person in your life when you're already feeling low.

Original poster
libertywoo · 19/08/2018 08:29

Thanks for your replies, I’m laughing at saying you will always be a cunt
More pissed off he’s upset me so much. My husband thinks he was annoyed at me spending all my time with my friend, before this I did think me and neighbour were good friends and we used to talk a lot, pop in each other’s houses etc.
Now I don’t even want to talk to him!
It was said in a really nasty way, but more like he was so drunk it was like he thought he was saying it in his head??
I’m angry I keep thinking about it, and if I’m honest it’s rocked my confidence.
I was asking my husband this morning, do I look really shit? He gave me a big hug and said lovely things to make me feel better.
Neighbour has shown a side of himself that’s pretty unpleasant and made me feel so crap.

OP posts:
Rowgtfc72 · 19/08/2018 08:38

I'm fat because I'm lazy and greedy. And I'm doing something about it. I've been shouted at down the street before who ate all the pies. I replied me, chicken and mushroom please.

You can lose weight. You know you've gained so it's not a surprise to you. So it's not a problem to you. It's his problem . And he's a cunt. Thats also his problem.

LastOneDancing · 19/08/2018 08:49

He's one of those special wankers who thinks women are here to be nothing more than pretty decorations. And he has an issue with alcohol.

His behaviour tells you a lot about how he sees women, his intellect and his lack of self control. The turd.

All it says about you is, that due to illness, you're carrying a bit more adipose tissue than previously, which has no reflection on you as a person Flowers

NoProbLlama78 · 19/08/2018 08:54

I'm quite overweight at the moment but no one would say it to me.

I have heard the response "every time I shag your dad, he gives me a biscuit" I dont know why but it completely cracked me up.

your neighbour is an arsehole I wouldn't bother spending time with him if I were you x

Strax · 19/08/2018 08:54

I also have low B12 and have put a lot of weight on as it's such a struggle to even stay awake let alone do any exercise (how is yours being treated?). No one has even mentioned it to me or called me fat. Your neighbour is a vicious twat and certainly not a friend.

TaMamaiSaChistinAgusSanOifig · 19/08/2018 08:55

My uncle called me fat when I was nine and a half stone and I WISH I'd told him that he had age spots all over his head and that his eyelids were falling away from his eyes. It wrecks your head that somebody thinks it's OK to be so rude! And then everybody around them minimises it to avoid awkwardness. Glad your husband recognises that it was not meant as a harmless joke Hmm glad he's not telling you that you're too sensitive.

TillyVonMilly · 19/08/2018 08:56

Print this out and post it through his letterbox. Cheeky twat.

How do you react when someone calls you fat?
PrincessoftheSea · 19/08/2018 08:56

Your neighbour is a dick and I would just not go near him again. Being drunk is not a reason or excuse to be a bully.

flapjackfairy · 19/08/2018 08:57

If he is jealous of your attention being elsewhere does he secretly fancy you and is trying to provoke a reaction .

flapjackfairy · 19/08/2018 08:59

All the popping in and out of his house may have given him the wrong idea and now he is miffed and a bit jealous ?.
Just thinking aloud

Helmetbymidnight · 19/08/2018 09:01

He’s a dick, and everyone there will have thought that.

I wouldn’t go to his parties anymore. You told him once, he didn’t give a shit...

Heartofgoldheadofcabbage · 19/08/2018 09:05

@NoProbLlama78

"every time I shag your dad, he gives me a biscuit"

Thank you...I am looking forward to using this!

Original poster
libertywoo · 19/08/2018 09:05

strax it’s rubbish isn’t it? I was shaking holding things and struggling to catch my breath just walking up the stairs, I’m getting the injections which are definitely helping.
I suppose what’s hurting is thinking someone is your friend, but I would never say that to a friend drunk or not.
Possibly a jealousy issue, we share a lot of similar tastes in music etc so usually end up chatting a lot about that. He’s always said he’s so pleased to have us as neighbours and friends, well he’s fucked that up now. And there’s definitely a drink problem that seems to have got worse recently, we were trying to be supportive of him but can’t do it anymore. Friends are meant to make you feel good about yourself, not shit and paranoid that everyone is looking at you thinking what a fat mess.

OP posts:
Livinglavidal0ca · 19/08/2018 09:08

He sounds like he wants attention. What a sad little man.

JacNaylor · 19/08/2018 09:18

I'm fat and work with challenging teens and adults so I get told I'm fat A LOT. Clicked on this with one lot of advice but actually at size 14 you're not fat, but more importantly this is about your neighbour being a dick not about being called fat. Compose witty retorts in your head and on here if it makes you feel better but don't stoop to using them. Your dh has it in one. He's an arse ignore him. Civil but distant responses if he chats to you, don't initiate friendly conversation and politely decline further invitations. This man is just not worth it!

SD1978 · 19/08/2018 09:34

Fat here- and if someone was to mention it, I could hardly deny it- it's as obvious as the large sized jeans I wear. And is due to gluttony and lazyness on my part- and I'm hoping to get the motivation to do something about it soon. However for a neighbour to comment is bloody rude, regardless of if all alcohol is involved or not.

didyouseetheflaresinthesky · 19/08/2018 10:44

We'll have a chat about my weight as soon as you get that plastic surgery done, sweetie, okay?

Dowser · 19/08/2018 10:58

I think he fancies you
Size 14 isn’t fat
Is he being playful

Helmetbymidnight · 19/08/2018 10:59

He just sounds like a shit to me. Confused

Leavemenowornever · 19/08/2018 11:03

That is so rude and definitely not the behaviour of a friend. He needs to get his drinking under control.

madcatladyforever · 19/08/2018 11:04

I'd sit on his head until he suffocated to death.