How do you react when someone calls you fat?

[libertywoo]

I’ve put on a bit of weight recently, I’m well aware of it. Been very anemic and low b12 which has left me with little energy so haven’t been as active, waking the dog is at a much slower pace as the low b12 was causing breathlessness.
Slowly getting back to normal and really not too concerned, for context I’m now a size 14.
Anyway a few months ago one of our neighbours had a party, I was laughing at something my husband said, and we both kind of sat down on the sofa at the same time. Like a flop down, the neighbour who was hosting the party muttered to himself something about Woo and her 22 stone.
I spoke to him about it the next day saying I don’t know what had happened that he’s switched from being life a soul to saying that about me. He was very embarrassed and said he was going to lay off the drink.
Last night he had a bbq, there was a big group of people there. My friend from my uni days was visiting so we took him to the party. Towards the end of the evening my friend was saying to me, woo, you’ve not changed at all. As he said that my neighbour shouted across the room, yes she has she’s got fat. He shouted it twice. Everyone heard it and looked a bit stunned. My friend ignored him and carried on chatting with me.
I’m really annoyed this idiot has made me feel so shit about myself, we left shortly after. My husband said he’s an arse and to ignore him, there was no point speaking to him that night due to his drunk state. Everyone else at the bbq just stopped, looked at him and carried on their conversation.
I’ve been replaying it all night in my head and getting quite upset. I thought this neighbour was my friend, clearly not and we won’t be going to any more of his parties.
My husband said he’s going to speak to him next time he sees him just to point out how unpleasant he was. I don’t know what changed from my neighbour being my supposed friend to this. He’s hardly svelte himself with a pretty large stomach, but I would never comment on that to him!
Anyway, anyone else had this? How do you react when someone calls you fat?

He’s rude. No wonder you felt self conscious. Pleased your husband was reassuring. I agree size 14 is not fat. I am a size 20 and it would still be rude if someone shouted at me across a barbecue in front of other people that I’m fat, even though it’s true. I can’t abide the ‘it’s true so it’s ok to say it’ excuse - otherwise society would break down as we all pointed out each other’s flaws.

Waste no more of your time on him.

I do think there’s an argument for reclaiming the word fat so it’s not an insult anymore but a neutral description of a body shape. I’ve read the description ‘I have fat’ or ‘thick’ (opposite of thin) but I think that might be more American. I think we’re some way as a society from it being something neutral you could say about someone else though!

Misogynistic twat.

Idiot who internally thinks women are ornaments for him to relate to, and has a drink problem that stops him disguising it.

Next time he invites you directly to something (hopefully in public) I would say ‘I have no interest in socialising with you now that I see who you really are.’

This thread made me think of friend who is now about 4 stone overweight (has yoyod).
She never hooks her self-esteem to her weight. If someone called her fat as a friendly tease, she'd take it as statement of fact & excuse to banter back. If they were just being rude she'd say bluntly back "Well, THAT'S very rude. What's wrong with you, why do you want to be rude?" She couldn't be arsed to be offended or upset.