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Original poster

How do you react when someone calls you fat?

54 replies

libertywoo · 19/08/2018 08:04

I’ve put on a bit of weight recently, I’m well aware of it. Been very anemic and low b12 which has left me with little energy so haven’t been as active, waking the dog is at a much slower pace as the low b12 was causing breathlessness.
Slowly getting back to normal and really not too concerned, for context I’m now a size 14.
Anyway a few months ago one of our neighbours had a party, I was laughing at something my husband said, and we both kind of sat down on the sofa at the same time. Like a flop down, the neighbour who was hosting the party muttered to himself something about Woo and her 22 stone.
I spoke to him about it the next day saying I don’t know what had happened that he’s switched from being life a soul to saying that about me. He was very embarrassed and said he was going to lay off the drink.
Last night he had a bbq, there was a big group of people there. My friend from my uni days was visiting so we took him to the party. Towards the end of the evening my friend was saying to me, woo, you’ve not changed at all. As he said that my neighbour shouted across the room, yes she has she’s got fat. He shouted it twice. Everyone heard it and looked a bit stunned. My friend ignored him and carried on chatting with me.
I’m really annoyed this idiot has made me feel so shit about myself, we left shortly after. My husband said he’s an arse and to ignore him, there was no point speaking to him that night due to his drunk state. Everyone else at the bbq just stopped, looked at him and carried on their conversation.
I’ve been replaying it all night in my head and getting quite upset. I thought this neighbour was my friend, clearly not and we won’t be going to any more of his parties.
My husband said he’s going to speak to him next time he sees him just to point out how unpleasant he was. I don’t know what changed from my neighbour being my supposed friend to this. He’s hardly svelte himself with a pretty large stomach, but I would never comment on that to him!
Anyway, anyone else had this? How do you react when someone calls you fat?

OP posts:
parklives · 19/08/2018 11:13

Fat? At size 14? Ha!

"He's one of those special wankers who thinks women are here to be nothing more than pretty decorations. And he has an issue with alcohol.

His behaviour tells you a lot about how he sees women, his intellect and his lack of self control. The turd."

I would do you you decided to and avoid. He's being a cunt, he picked on weight as the way he wants to insult you, but really, size 14 isn't exactly obese!
Your husband sounds lovely!

Strax · 19/08/2018 11:33

@libertywoo, it's very shit indeed, it's taken me a few years to adjust. You might find that taking folic acid in conjunction with the B12 jabs helps improve things further. Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk/rant about it!

specialsubject · 19/08/2018 11:36

his rude comments only make one person look bad - him. blank him in future.

amusedbush · 19/08/2018 12:46

Dowser

Is he being playful?

Op says ‘it was said in a really nasty way’.

Singlenotsingle · 19/08/2018 12:50

I'm a size 14, always fighting the flab.
"I can get slim, but you'll always be ugly".

sprinklesandsauce · 19/08/2018 12:52

He probably thinks he is being funny, I used to know somebody like this, who when drunk, was just rude and obnoxious to everyone, thinking that he was being really funny. He wasn't. He changed when he finally met somebody who saw through it all and he stopped drinking so much and wouldn't dream of behaving like it now.

Not nice for you. If he can't control his drinking and rudeness, then I think you are right to stay away from him.

Nobody has the right to insult anyone.

A few years ago when I was overweight, a man insulted me in the street, calling me fat and other names. He himself was a dwarf who had faced a lifetime of name calling, but it didn't stop him being horrible to me :(

RomanyRoots · 19/08/2018 13:04

Your neighbour is a twat, and he sounds like a right arse hole.
However, even though I wouldn't have said anything, you both flopping on his sofa might have done it some damage depending on you and dh weight.
This happened to us, brand new sofa, very expensive and overweight guests.
No insurance as their combined weight was more than sofa manufacturers spec.

Also, those saying size 14 isn't fat, it depends how much a person weighs not what size clothes they take.
You can also find people who are very muscly, not fat but weigh heavy.

Please don't flop on other peoples chairs, no matter what you weigh.

Well done with losing weight OP, I hope you are feeling better now, He'll always be a twat. Thanks

OnTopOfSpaghetti · 19/08/2018 13:12

Please don't flop on other peoples chairs, no matter what you weigh.
WTF? Is flopping on other people's chairs a crime now?ShockHmmConfused

Papergirl1968 · 19/08/2018 13:27

Wish I was a 14!
I waved my arms at someone who was driving the wrong way down a one way street yesterday and he yelled, “I know, you big heifer.” Unfortunately drove off before I could retort.
It hurts.
I think some men just don’t like women (whatever their size) or feel threatened by them. I sometimes wonder if they have wives, girlfriends, daughters, sisters etc, and how they’d feel if someone mocked their weight.

RomanyRoots · 19/08/2018 13:33

onTop
No, not a crime but not a nice thing to do.
I wouldn't dream of doing it, as was brought up better.
There's nothing wrong with sitting, you don't have to flop with all your weight.

parklives · 19/08/2018 13:48

Romany I agree to some extent, that size 14 can be 'fat' (I am still fat when I am size 14, because I although I'm a good height I have a delicate frame weedy) but....I still wouldn't describe someone as fat if they were that size.
I actually would never describe anyone as fat, nor would I describe anyone as ugly, bald, or terrible teeth etc as I think it's pretty horrible. I'm no angel gobby bitch and will absolutely bring a gun to a knife fight if someone insults me or my friends/family, I just would never use 'fat' as an insult, it's a description, but I think in ops neighbours case he was trying to use it as an insult, which is really crass.

LowPainThreshold · 19/08/2018 13:49

@donquixotedelamancha 😂😂😂

Original poster
libertywoo · 19/08/2018 13:51

Thanks for all your replies, you’ve made me laugh today. He sent me a text asking if we want to meet up for a dog walk later, I’m not going but my husband is, our dogs get on great so we’ll see how the conversation goes. My dh is just going to point out quite matter of factly that his comments were hurtful and uncalled for.
The flopping on the sofa issue, it was an ancient foam sofa, like one of those ones I used to have in my bedroom as a teenager. It folds out to make a flat mattress. So yeah I agree I wouldn’t be flinging myself on sofas but this one has no structure and made of foam. Im 5’7 weigh 10 and half stone, used to be 9 and a half, I know I need to lose weight, dh weighs 12 and is 6 ft.
Neighbour is about 5’7 and he’s told me before he weighs nearly 16 stone. So I’m just hurt at the digs about my weight. And what makes me more pissed off is how much it’s upset me! Wish I could brush it off but keep replaying that horrid moment when everyone stopped talking and he yelled it again.....arse!

OP posts:
specialsubject · 19/08/2018 13:53

your neighbour is fat. You are obviously not.

OurMiracle1106 · 19/08/2018 13:56

Which your neighbour clearly is!

Kartrashian · 19/08/2018 14:02

I was called fat on a night out, man by himself walking by me in the street shouting “fatty” at me.

It was horrible. But what’s worse is that he was twice my size Hmm

As a stranger to me, I just shouted back that he was even fatter than me.

Someone I know ... that’s never happened to me. But I think I’d approach them honestly and say how it made me feel in the hopes that they would apologise and be mortified by their actions.

Original poster
libertywoo · 19/08/2018 14:04

miracle I love that, it may become my screen saver!
I’ll try that, thanks strax

OP posts:
Original poster
libertywoo · 19/08/2018 15:41

kartrashian it makes you feel crap doesn’t it? No need either, my uni friend texted me today to ask if I was ok and says his behaviour says a lot more about him than me, he thought he was a total dick.
I’m glad you shouted back at that man!

OP posts:
PeanutButterCheesecake · 19/08/2018 16:04

The best I did was a known arsehole who called me fat. I said 'you can talk, gutso'. He was shellshocked, looked like he was going to cry. My mate does fake crying/rubbing her fists in her eyes and says 'boo hoo hoo, you called me fat, is that the best you've got?' She is quite hilarious.

Beaverhausen · 19/08/2018 16:13

I would say does not stop you from drooling while leering at me.

I am fat and get trolled or have remarks made about my weight.

I normally just say "thank You, been work in most of my adult life to look this fabulous."

Ps size 14 is not fat by the way.

3stonedown · 19/08/2018 16:20

I was fat (a size 20) but never got called fat. I know some who have and it's all been by men who frankly could do with losing a bit themselves. They are shallow insecure little men who are not worth thinking about. I'm sorry about his comments but they reflect more on him than you

SecretWitch · 19/08/2018 16:26

I’m so sorry this happened to you. It gets into your head, right? I had a bloke at a bar say to pretty face, FAT ASS I almost cried. I talked to my aunty that night and she said to me “Tabitha, I have a fat ass, your mom has a fat ass, you have a fat ass. We are a big ass family” Made me laugh.
Treat yourself kindly today.

Original poster
libertywoo · 19/08/2018 21:30

About to head to bed, but wanted to say thank you to all you lovely people who made me feel better today. I know my neighbour is a nasty person but he really upset me. You guys helped make a horrible situation a lot better!

OP posts:
PerverseConverse · 19/08/2018 21:49

He's a twat but I reckon he fancies you. Typical boy in the playground pulling your pigtails behaviour.

LunaLovegoodsRadishes · 19/08/2018 21:54

I just point out the obvious flaw in the person and point it out loudly. "I can lose wight but you still have a face like a badger's behind." Something like that.

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