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Hilarious FB stealth boasts

491 replies

lovelyjubilly · 17/08/2018 17:44

'I feel so guilty! I have taken my children out doing fun activities every day of the summer holidays so far for the past 3 weeks and today we are having a day at home. I feel so bad that they're going to be bored! Anyone else feeling guilty about having a day at home?'

Confused

Any other gems?

OP posts:
windysocks · 18/08/2018 07:09

totally cringe - #makingmemories is the worst - if you are so aware of making the memory its probably just a staged moment in time - faux book indeed!
my mind stores my memories for me with little effort- even the spontaneous events, I can share them with real life friends wheres I want ( by talking !) 😂
great thread btw!

FirstOfHerName · 18/08/2018 07:20

One of the mums from DC's nursery hashtags every Instagram post about her daughter with #mylittlepetal and #themummydiaries. If her little petal's stroller is in the photo then there's an extra tag of #uppababy.

She once posted a shot of her daughter on a chair in the beauty salon while she (the mother) got a wax,with the hashtag #fannyadmin

KenDoddsDadsDog · 18/08/2018 07:31

I had a superb one but I deleted her for being a twat over other things.
Look at the cake DD has made - cue her DD the size of an ant in front of their massive house.
Checks in regularly - in the home gym
Ooh my car valet is great , I’d recommend with cars positioned in front of mega house carefully.
She’s woefully inadequate but Jesus it was tedious .

StealthPolarBear · 18/08/2018 07:32

Costa Guava so is your dhs friend the drug dealer?

StealthPolarBear · 18/08/2018 07:33

Fannyadmin :o

LemonRedwood · 18/08/2018 07:39

Your ex's sister? Really why???

We have reasons for keeping in touch. I bet you could think of some if you tried.

Luxembourgmama · 18/08/2018 07:46

Hilarious I want to follow all of these people

knowledgeofnone · 18/08/2018 07:55

A few times a year I get a call from my friend (single mum, works, no dad involved) and she's really worked up/upset because she has a friend on instagram that posts stuff all year round show 5 star holidays, new cars, fancy handbags, designer clothes etc who is also a single mum to 3 kids and doesn't work and my friend feels like she is somewhat of a failure due to not being able to do the same stuff and doesn't understand how other woman can. I just keep telling her that a picture tells you feck all and we don't know what happens behind closed doors so not to stress!

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 18/08/2018 07:57

#fannyadmin GrinGrin

Nottheduchessofcambridge · 18/08/2018 08:06

The making memories is just rubbish though, you can do that without posting all over Facebook and Insta! It seems forced. I know someone who popped a photo of her DS on a horse #makingmemories. He was literally sat on the horse for the amount of time it took to take the photo. “Oh mum, remember that time I sat on the horse for 5 seconds, that is a great memory”.
I think people who stealth boast are missing out on attention from somewhere. I think people should be honest, say “look at my channel/Dior/Gucci bag, isn’t it lovely”.
“Look how clever my DD is, I’m very proud”. Stealth Boasts are so transparent it makes people look stupid.

Strawberrybelly · 18/08/2018 08:08

Why do people need some many hashtags? It drives me mad. I have a woman on mine who I know the state of their relationships by her posts. They go in endless cycles of happy families making memories to has anyone seen my husband? To inspirational quotes about her needing no man. Then you get the happy family making memories again and on and on and on.

LARLARLAND · 18/08/2018 08:14

I am not on FB or Twitter but after reading this thread I feel like I am missing out. These are hilarious. How shallow and desperate are some people? I really can’t fathom for the life of me how anyone could be arsed to try to trick the whole world into thinking you were richer, thinner, more interesting than you really are. Really classy people would never dream of engaging in such juvenile, fantastical, time-wasting nonsense.

orphanblack1 · 18/08/2018 08:20

FB - turning normal people into twats since 2004.

There’s a girl on mine who is really bloody irritating - not stealth boasts but always moaning about how broke she is, how she’s “living on the edge” because the petrol lights come on in her car and she can’t afford petrol until pay day yet buys a large take out coffee every day (and posts about it). No wonder you’re always broke love!

There was a guy from school I used to be friends with on FB. Partner in law firm and his profile pic was him with a magnum of Veuve. Always boasting about his lavish lifestyle. I deleted him in the end. At the time I was also a partner in a law firm but didn’t feel the need to boast about it!

heiheithechicken · 18/08/2018 08:23

Costaguava I think I have this person as a friend too Grin

KanielOutis · 18/08/2018 08:25

I don't seem to have any of these friends. I want some to lighten up my day!

QueenOfTheAndals · 18/08/2018 08:33

Tbh I think Instagram is worse for this than FB. The excessive hashtagging has to stop!!

twoundertwo1234 · 18/08/2018 08:38

I think the hen do ones are the worst. Constant bragging about the amazing bestest friends who have organised these ott trips abroad (which in reality everyone is probably moaning about). Expensive boats trips, matching swimwear, brags that their hen do is the best ever etc etc. Then don't get me started on the hashtags.

NellieBee · 18/08/2018 08:50

Last year we went for a playdate at a friends house. Friend has 5,000 followers on instagram as she documents her perfect life- big house, two perfect kids, lovely husband, Mercedes etc. Her life seems to be Starbucks and manicures and I was green with jealousy for years.

Anyway, turns out her house STUNK. And was filthy. They have two massive dogs and she couldn't get a cleaner to stay apparently. It was disgusting. Like the smell stuck to us in the car driving home and we had to get the car cleaned!

Its given me perspective. What you see isn't necessarily whats real.

ItsJustASimpleLine · 18/08/2018 08:56

A friend who has in the past mentioned about new cars and DDs achievements in a none bragging way clearly hasn't had enough attention as last night she posted 'should have refund for DD class and instructor is having her demonstrate everything to other kids'. I'm worried now it's the beginning of the stealth boast.

As others has said I like to see when friends kids do well or they have a new car or holiday they're excited about. If they just say that. Its the stealth boast that makes me think less of them.

I also have a friend who checks herself in at hospital or says 'so depressed' to get the 'you ok hun?' responses. Its funny how not many people comment so she keeps updating to try to get the sympathy. Most of the hospital check ins are for her going with other ppl for not serious issues but she needs at least 10 'u ok s?'before admitting this. But my favorite thing is guessing how long it will be before her DD gets what ever her niece has, I don't know how she can't she how obvious this is. Sister posts 'DD has broken arm but was brave' couple days later DD is getting xray hope it's not broken'. Etc

StopPOP · 18/08/2018 08:57

I have a FB friend who posts carefully posed pictures of herself, filtered SO often there's seldom anything else. She is very attractive I guess and has great dress sense but Ye Fucking Gads the fishing for compliments is sad. Lots of comments of "wow, so pretty hun" etc etc and she replies to Every. Single. One.

Allthegoodusernamesaregonesad · 18/08/2018 09:07

I went on holidays with a friend and her daughter, who is stunning looking. But OMG the amount of time and effort that went in for the perfect shot for FB!!! We (her mum and me) had such a laugh. Once photos were taking and filtered (ages again!) then posted with the usual #livingmybestlive #workhardforrhisholiday etc etc. Ahh mammy paid for the holiday!!! And then the photo that goes up just happens to show her underwear through the dress with the hashtag oh no I didn't realise you could see my underwear!!!! 🤣 🤣 🤣 All staged.... Any comments me or her mom put up are always taken down... 😂

TheGoddessFrigg · 18/08/2018 09:14

Someone has to pick #fannyadmin as a username Grin

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 18/08/2018 09:23

I have a FB friend who is involved in a charity set up by her partner. Now we all know her job (not that amazingly paid) and her partners circumstances (because she loved to over share), so we know they aren't rolling in it.She is always posting about her amazing holidays (at least 3 or 4 a year) and new cars (she bought a new model one and didn't like two doors or colour so she gave it to her Ds). Many
people who know her are surmising (rightly or wrongly) that it's all funded by the charity. If it is, then everything's there for the tax man and world to see.

Angie169 · 18/08/2018 09:35

UPSTARTCOW
very funny , put your coat down , I need a good laugh.

BrutusMcDogface · 18/08/2018 09:38

I think I might have just seen one but not 100%....something along the lines of "don't you just hate being on holiday and having to get up early to reserve your sun lounger?!" With book and pool in the shot. Stealth blast? The reason I don't know is that truly lovely as the pool looked, people hogging all the sun loungers early sounds like hell! Grin