Was anyone really bright at school but ended up in low paid jobs / no career?

[Hillsdale]

I was really bright at school. Got A* and Bs in GCSEs and a level then went onto do a vocational degree in a healthcare profession ( think pharmacist but not).

I didn't know what to do and my older siblings and parents chose my degree for me.

To cut a long story short, I suffered from social anxiety and severe confidence and esteem issues. I hated every minute of uni and at the end of my degree i couldn't even find a work training placement which I needed in order to become fully qualified after having attended so many interviews. My mental health was really bad and I felt like and was told I was a failure.

I gave up and have just done low paid nmw admin jobs. ( Not that there is anything wrong with those jobs).

But I just can't shake the feeling off of being a failure and not being able to fulfill my potential and used my head in something that I could have been good at.

I don't know what I'm saying really but just wondered if anyone else has been in a similar situation.

Yep! It's not too late though :)

My son is disabled si I am restricted in my choice of career, I work in a school hours accounts role but am a trained management accountant. I did really well academically at school but also lack confidence and I am not good at selling myself

My sister. But she’s now back at uni doing a degree. But she got straight A’s and an international baccalaureate. Then joined the 24 hour coke club and got pregnant at 18 working part time in a shitty bar she’s studying now and is in her last year, will easily get a first and likely do a masters and PHD. It’s never too late to retrain.

Yes I'm 45 earn less than my nieces who've graduated recently and was thought of as very clever. I gained a red brick degree, distinctions in professional qualifications and a series of life choices and unlucky events (disability/ death) have ended up as a loser on the 'what do you do front?'. It's a source of unhappiness tbh.

Me. Top grades at GCSE and A level, degrees, several postgrad qualifications. I'm bottom of the rung admin (although pay is quite generous for what I do). I had a good job although not a career before kids. I think a lack of confidence plus a couple of poor choices are contributing factors. I'm not unhappy but I do think I could have done so much more. And I can't really change as job works around my kids and DH has a good job but long hours and travel.

I did well at school but had a series of events that made it difficult for me to work except in low paid work. I also got a foundation degree when my children were little. Today, I have two adult children and one younger one and I'm retraining in something I love which has come as quite a surprise to me! My eldest who I cared for (disability) moved out into a care establishment and I think I've just had the headspace to think and do something else.

I felt like I was massively under-using my qualifications until I trained as a teacher at 30. I don’t think it’s uncommon to feel this way, and it’s never too late to improve your career.

I got more or less straight As at school, a first class degree from a red brick uni, a masters degree from another one... and a professional qualification.

I'm currently unemployed and for the last few years have barely held down minimum wage, part time jobs.

After much soul searching and worry it turns out that I'm autistic which kind of explains everything! I'm hoping I can go forward armed with this info and find meaningful employment, with reasonable adjustments so I can manage.

Life often doesn't quite work out the way we think it will, but I do think the vast majority of people in this situation are trying our best and we should not be too harsh on ourselves about it. I say that having given myself no end of crap about being shit at life for years... it doesn't help and just makes you feel worse.

Yep, me. Got all As and Bs at GCSE but I had to move areas for 6th form for my stepdad's job. Everyone at 6th form there all knew each other and I didn't make any friends, I absolutely hated going in and having nobody to talk to. I got a part time job doing waitressing and everyone there was so friendly, I was happier there than at 6th form so ended up leaving to work at the restaurant.

I'm still a low earner now but I'm relatively new at the job I'm doing and there's a good potential to progress in the company which I've never had before. I wouldn't go back to education now.

Yep, I was hyperlexic and got A's without trying. I worked in a corporate setting for a while but it was hell.

I now work in a low paid job.

I'm pretty sure I'm undiagnosed autistic though. It wasn't understood when I was young, especially in women.

Over the years I have struggled a lot with the 'potential' I was said to have while I was at school, and never fulfilling it in the time since. But the fact is that it takes a lot more than being clever to be 'successful', career-wise at least. There are a lot of factors, e.g. mental health, intrinsic motivation/ambition, finding your career niche, plain luck... And the skills required to do well in a work environment don't always overlap well with the skills required to do well at school.

So, I try to forgive myself for not forging a stellar career, but having said that, I am now retraining, and it's hard not to put that pressure on all over again - maybe this time I'll suddenly become an entirely different person and blossom into a driven and motivated successful type. I need to focus on getting and keeping a job first!

Yes I was a straight a student at school. Discovered the joy of drugs and never went to uni as I needed ready cash so did factory work after college. Got pregnant at nineteen. Best thing that happened to me though as it straightened me out. Do office IT work now but never gonna be a big earner.
I still have daydreams of going to uni, but the thought of 50 grand debt is terrifying. Plus I'm lazy.

Yes in fact I bet I am the only NLCS 'ONL' who has been on the dole and lived in sad squats and damp houses.

Me too. As & Bs at GCSE, but my MH completely collapsed by 6th form & I got Cs & a D. Degree result was good but I developed a chronic health condition while at university which has never gone away, I now can't work. I spent many years in a job I hated at slightly above NMW because I couldn't get anything else, due to various factors. I would have liked a career, I wish I'd not gone straight to university & had thought about where I was going instead of just doing what the careers advisors told me to do, which did not serve me at all well. My degree, frankly, was fun but pointless.

Yes. Highest SATs in my school, then straight As and A*s at GCSE including doing two a year early, then 5 As at AS level..... and then....

I went loops (yy 24hr coke club), left home at 17 (lost contact with parents for 5 years) and held down a series of cash in hand 'jobs'... Then the speed addiction really took hold and I didnt work for a few years and lived in my student friends broken bath for a few months, in a tent on scrub land in Bristol for 6 months, in an abandoned van, in a friends conservatory, tried to kill myself... then I managed to get clean and get a job as a waitress...

Im now married and a housewife with two children under 4. Im actually very happy. I cant say I regret the way things have gone because I am happy now... and also I have some wonderful memories.
You certainly couldnt say I lived up to my early potential though could you?!?

Yes of course. Academic qualifications are no guarantee to high earnings or professional status. I’m too old for GCSEs but my first, whilst nice to have, has had no effect on my actual jobs. My first job out of school was absolutely on that pathway, but life takes you in different directions. I have caring commitments for a child with a disability, and a dh with mobile employment. My life would have been very different if I had not married. We all make choices.

Me! Was top of the class for everything at school, good exam results, was studying at a red brick uni. Due to ill health I didn't finish the last year and ended up moving far away for DP (now DH) job. I graduated with an ordinary degree rather than going back and finishing the final honours year. I've gut kids and a part time admin job now and can't see me having the time, energy or money to retrain anytime soon.

I work in admin in a University and I think most of the project managers etc wonder why I'm doing that job as I'm pretty bright! I plan to apply for full time and more senior admin roles when dc at school. But I don't think I'll ever reach my intellectual potential work wise.

I also suffer from a lot of anxiety and terrible insomnia and stress . So I often wonder had I achieved a high flying career would I had crashed out of it anyway - this happened to my brother. A solicitor , trained for years, suffered from such terrible stress and depression he crashed out of life - he works in a bike shop now and is much happier (albeit poorer).

I think we need to not punish ourselves - life happens and some people have amazing jobs and miserable personal life's, some the Other way round. Some both, some neither.

I have a happy home life , lovely family, not very stressful job but relatively well paid .... I also have loads of hobbies and friends and am very active in my local community which makes me happy.

Redneck - low paid job/no career isn't necessarily failing at life! I have a happy marriage, two lovely kids and a beautiful home by the sea. Yes, I would like a meaningful career but I wouldn't sacrifice any of the above to achieve that.

It's weird someone has mentioned autism as I have autism in my family but I've often wondered if I have ADHD as I flit alot, get bored, can't sit still, very impulsive etc
Even at the grand old age of 40 no one wants to sit next to me during a play/film as I just can't sit still. If anything bores me too, my concentration vanishes.

I refute the failed at life thing though as I survived some proper traumatic life events and I think that's success, it's just not mainstream enough.

Yep me! All As and A* at GCSEs...decent A levels and a degree which I admit I did pretty much no work for! I was consistently one of the brightest in my year at school..and it was a fairly academic school. I've had one bog standard admin job and been a sahm for over a decade now! I definitely lacked focus, ambition and parental guidance.

thelittlefoxes I totally agree. Had I not met my DH I might have finished my degrrr and have an awesome career... but ten I would not live in the lovely place I live and have all the things I have... and I would never give those things up. I think we need to be fairly philosophical about how things turn out. I know people with PhDs who are unemployed..... luck , upbringing, mental health .... all equally important factors in career achievement as intelligence.
In fact , I know some total idiots in very senior roles !!

I got A*s at GCSE and subsequently studied all the way to PhD level. But I can’t get a job because I’m an awful person. Actual feedback from employers has included comments like I’m too withdrawn, awkward to be around, not personable, make people feel uncomfortable, I don’t smile enough, don’t show an aptitude for working with people, etc. So basically I wasted my time getting skills and qualifications because my personality makes me unemployable.

I think career success means different things to different people, but IMO confidence and mental health is often more important than intelligence. Knowing what you want to do (i never did) and going for it! Plus the amount you earn has a lot to do with your choice of role/sector.

FWIW I was a straight A student, went to Cambridge uni and won a prize in my first year (it was downhill after that as I had more fun and did a bit less work... still loads but not enough for a first!)

But I don’t have a “career” and I’m not where I want to be. My salary is low and I’d like it to be higher but that’s not the main issue, it’s that I’d like more responsibility, i’d like to be using my brain more and managing people.

Llama, have you considered you may have autism?
You aren't an awful person ffs.