Was anyone really bright at school but ended up in low paid jobs / no career?

[Hillsdale]

I was really bright at school. Got A* and Bs in GCSEs and a level then went onto do a vocational degree in a healthcare profession ( think pharmacist but not).

I didn't know what to do and my older siblings and parents chose my degree for me.

To cut a long story short, I suffered from social anxiety and severe confidence and esteem issues. I hated every minute of uni and at the end of my degree i couldn't even find a work training placement which I needed in order to become fully qualified after having attended so many interviews. My mental health was really bad and I felt like and was told I was a failure.

I gave up and have just done low paid nmw admin jobs. ( Not that there is anything wrong with those jobs).

But I just can't shake the feeling off of being a failure and not being able to fulfill my potential and used my head in something that I could have been good at.

I don't know what I'm saying really but just wondered if anyone else has been in a similar situation.

3 A grades at A level when that was very rare, and a distinction at S level. Developed what I now know was a very serious mental and physical health condition at Oxford, and because the academics there are fuckers who to this day discriminate against the ill and disabled, but will happily write references for people with attempted murder convictions if they are rich was forced to leave my degree.

I did have the great good luck to marry extremely well though, and am now a very happy housewife, although my medical problems continue.

It’s not too late to complete your degree, or do a different one, by the way. I finally finished mine aged 40. Not for any professional reason, but because it was important to honour my brave 18 year old self.

Me. As at O level (apart from a B in maths!), As and a B at A level, and a good degree from a top university. I never really found my niche. Undiagnosed mental health problems didn't help, and severe bullying and harassment and a couple of miscarriages contributed to a breakdown. I was never able to play the office politics game, and that held me back.

I concentrated on raising my daughter and went part time, then went into a public facing role which I love. Not a high earner, but I'm happy.

🙋🏻‍♀️

A* student, oxbridge candidate.

Dropped out of uni - consumed by depression and anxiety.

Ended up in retail. Quickly moved up to management, but didn't progress any further due MH.

One of my relatives. Went to a grammar school, was in all the top sets. Got a 1st class maths degree with an average mark of 98%. Works as a TA.

He loves his job and is happy. He decided he wanted a good work life balance, spend time with his dc, having holidays and weekends off. Didn’t want the stress of being a teacher. Guess he decided to work to live not live to work. He’s got quite a frugal lifestyle by a lot of people’s standards so isn’t bothered about the lower income.

I’m completely the opposite, I hated comp school and really didn’t bother, when I left, I went to college took 3 jobs in the evenings/weekends and holidays worked my butt off and played quite hard now in my 40s I’m reaping the rewards of hard work, I’ve travelled the world and am mortgage free. I don’t have the energy to work 80 hours a week now, but I don’t need to Ive worked hard since I was 14.

Yep. Good grades at school etc but I had an eating disorder from ages 12-21 and that was all I could think about, in and out of hospital and long term eating disorder unit admissions throughout that time. Don’t know how I even got the grades I did. I didn’t know what I wanted to do and my parents stood by and watched me make lots of foolish life choices. Ended up in lots of different care jobs. now 26 and just had second baby and wondering how the hell I can get back on track and make a career for myself after this. My current job is well paid for what it is but I can’t help but want to progress.

Me. I did really well at school, got a first class English degree, and a pgce and then became a teacher in the prison service. Long story short but basically left on bad terms due to discrimination (and actually the way my employers handled the situation rather than the discrimination itself resulted in my leaving with a settlement) and now I am unemployed. I’m a sahm at the moment, but I can’t/won’t return to where I was working (and it’s not like schools, I’d have to work in a different county if I went to a different establishment). So I’m basically stuck with a useless qualification that I’m unable to use and contemplating setting up a cleaning business/ self employed as a cleaner.

Yep, me. Top results in my year, got into both medicine. Started medicine, dropped out due to MH issues and then went for law, and now working in a fairly average job. There are so many factors involved in where you end up. If your life goes off course for whatever reason (MH, other illnesses, drug use) it's very hard to get back on track.

ragebear my aunt had a very highflying but quite specific job and was made redundant. She set up a cleaning business and has done really well and loves it !

Cornish I know of a few people who say the same. I’m very tempted.

Yep & I feel ashamed.

Due to weird fucked up brain ue to my mum dying when I was 9.

Bad choices as married & had kids early.

Also find work quite hard - to me it feels all to do with how to play people and spending ages looking at spreadsheets.

I feel like a loser after so much was expected of me. I am going to try and progress now but really dont like the game and am soooo far behind my peers.

Me too with a very similar story to you @Hillsdale. I feel my self esteem and confidence have held me back my whole life and I wish I'd sorted it sooner. I regularly feel I haven't lived the life I could have, unused potential, etc but there's not much I can do now. I would love to do something to help others like nursing, teaching, etc but I've left it too late. I started volunteering 14 years ago and I find that this helps to fill an emotional gap between my actual job and what I'd prefer to do. I now have 3 voluntary roles, all quite different from each other, and I'm progressing my skills & experience this way.

I also had a very sheltered upbringing and didn't know much about life which made me a NIGHTMARE in my first couple of jobs! Some of the people I went to school with who didn't do that well have ended up far exceeding anything I've done. I put that down to them being more well-rounded and knowing more about life than I did.

From child prodigy to living on benefits by way of being kicked out of home before GCSEs (was homeless when I sat them) and MH issues.

Signed up to open university yesterday.

This thread is a testament to the impact that even very common, very treatable mental illnesses can have on people's lives, and the awful lack of funding for quality care in the NHS.

My first intended career was ruined by MH problems (and the stigma that is still attached). It's been a few difficult years but I have started again, in a different-but-related area that I'm better suited to. It can be done.

Yes - only diagnosed with autism at age 36. Have A's at A level but have minimum wage job in a warehouse. Hey ho...

Yep, I have a PhD from a high ranking Russell Group but have never been able to find anything above minimum wage.

@MM18 I'm going to print that out "to honour my 18 year old brave self".

I got A*s at GCSE, As at A level and was offered a place at Oxford university as well as 5 other universities. I turned all of these down. My Gran - who was like a mum to me- had been diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer around the time I got the offer and I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to study. I stopped, got a local low paid job as a receptionist and stayed home to nurse my Gran (who I lived with) until she died.

The plan was always for me to go back to university/ study but it never happened. I met dds dad and had dd and settled into low paid office work.

I left dds dad when she was 6 months old (we had been together 5 years by that point) and I then did whatever I could to manage, lots of low paid waitressing work alongside temp office jobs.

I spent a lot of time in my 20s crying about how much of a failure I was to be honest.

I am now nearly 40 and I am over worrying about it (although it must bother me a bit to comment here I guess!) but mostly I don’t think about it. I’ve remarried, dd is now a teenager and I have ds who has autism learning disabilities. He attends a specialist school and has a high level of need, I am now a full time carer. Funny enough I am actually the happiest I’ve been. I have time to indulge my interests, read whatever I like, (when ds is at school) and I don’t have to feel bored to death at work. But I appreciate I am lucky- dh has a fairly low paid job, we aren’t rich, it’s just ds disabilities and circumstances that have meant we’ve ended up like this.

Yes.

Hyperlexic, top of my class, got a 'best in school' maths certificate before I was in the top year. Also on anti-depressants from age 12, difficult family background making me a carer for one parent and younger siblings, serious anxiety, undiagnosed ASD. Socially awkward, no friends, sensory issues made school a nightmare. Started self-harming. Family didn't understand at all, and once answered my existential-crisis question 'what is the purpose of my life?' with 'to go to school' in all seriousness

I was too anxious to go to school, was labelled 'school phobic' and had the underlying issues completely ignored in favour of trying to force me back into school. Went in for GCSEs, got A*/A grades despite having a year 11 attendance level around 25%, if that. Left school, took care of my home and family until youngest sibling started secondary school, by which time I'd had the time and space to work on my own issues a bit. Worked a few minimum wage jobs, ended up as a primary school teaching assistant which I loved and was good at, so I stayed there.

Then I got counselling. Proper counselling, not the singularly unhelpful 'all children have to go to school and you're no exception' type. At almost 30 I went to university and got a very high first class degree. I'm now off to Cambridge for a Masters. Still no career yet, but at least I no longer feel as if I'm stupid.

I know a few people like this. Some are happy with their life as it is, others are frustrated and disappointed with their lives.

My best friend from school got straight As at GCSE and A Level. She went on to get a first from a top university, and a master's from a different uni. The only job she's ever had has been a fairly low paid admin job, where she's been for about 15 years now. She likes it but doesn't love it, has no idea what else she'd do if she left, so she stays.

Another friend has a PhD, and works as a curator in a local museum, which sounds great and she enjoys the job, but she doesn't earn much at all.

An acquaintance got top grades at school, a first at uni, a PhD. Then she got married and had children so has never used any of those qualifications. She was a sahm till the youngest went to secondary then got an entry level admin job. She spends all her time criticising the people she works with and complaining about any professional who comes into contact with her or her children. She absolutely lives for her children and would do anything for them, but I do wonder what she will focus her energy into once her youngest goes to uni (this year I think)

To be honest, this is largely why I trained as a teacher. I wanted to do something else, but with teaching I knew I’d always have reasonably well paid work.

Me, I got As and A*s at GCSE without trying but higher academia (stem a levels) didn't suit me at all.

I was stressed to the point of being ill.

Had a part time job in a friends cafe and realised that I was actually really happy at work so trained to be a chef.

It was a great decision for me but learning the lesson that just because you are capable of doing something academic doesn't mean you have to, was hard.

I did well at school and university, received distinction and awards for my post-grad, then absolutely hated the sexism and bullying in the profession I chose, resulting in periods of depression and work-related stress absences. Was actually quite relieved to be managed out of my role after maternity leave. Spent a lot of time struggling mentally and financially as a SAHM with DH in low-waged work, and had a succession of NMW part-time roles to help with finances. I sometimes feel like I have failed to reach my potential, but the thought of going back into any sort of "career" role makes me panic. I have a NMW job at the moment that I really enjoy, it fits around my children, so although I'd like to have more money coming in, on a good day I'm pretty happy with my work-life balance. Still struggling with depression though, which holds me back from having the confidence in myself to be more.

Yes, this is me.
Top GCSE & A-Level grades, 2.1 in a traditional subject from a red brick Russell Group Uni.

No careers advice or parental guidance but need for money meant I drifted into temp secretarial work after uni and low self-esteem meant I got stuck there. Friends with similar education/grades became high flyers in finance, law, PR, publishing etc etc and I got left behind.

I did have some interesting jobs and was good at them and quickly rose to the level of executive PA. But my heart was never in it. I left work when I had my DC, had plans to retrain as a midwife but then life shat on me from a great height. I've been a SAHM for the past 16 years and suffer from PTSD which makes me feel utterly worthless, my brain just doesn't work the way it used to, so I feel I have no chance of finding or sustaining a fulfilling career now. I feel guilty that my parents wasted so much money on paying private school fees when I have amounted to precisely nothing.

Yep, another late diagnosis of asd here too. Had a place to start in uni but anxiety got the better of me and I no-showed.

I am just about to start my masters now, having done degree recently, but as my physical health is now buggered it's mainly just for myself.