"I'll be there after breakfast" What does that mean to you?

[Randomnamechange1000]

Just checking I'm not crazy. I thought that meant before 10? AIBU?

This is taking the mick.

After breakfast is 9.30, surely?
Else, why not say mid morning which is 10.30-11.30. As it is sil didn't turn up till lunchtime, 12.

Your'll have to learn to ask for a specific time.

I honestly cannot understand why anybody thinks the sister is in the wrong.

It’s NOT her fault OP didn’t ask for a time, it’s NOT her fault OP wound her son up into a tizzy, it’s NOT her fault OP expects the world to revolve around her kids, and she certainly shouldn’t have been guilt tripped into “making an effort” or apologising.

Literally every single bit of this would have been avoided by OP asking for a time, and telling her DS that his aunt would arrive when she got there and organising something else in the meantime.

The crowing about an apology was childish and petty.

Yes I am, and yes there is a massive backstory which is why I'm sensitive. But I'm kinda used to her messing me about, this is the first time I've seen the kids affected and I thought it would be different with them.

She does not apologise, ever, for anything, historically. So that was a big thing.

I fail to see how she messed your kids around OP, you could have handled it better, especially since you seem to imply she has form.

I’m not buying the massive drip feed.

God you sound like such hard work. It's depressing that people have to contend with this shit from their relatives.

Fuck it I don't care if you don't buy it. She's been a piss poor sister but she can be an amazing Auntie if she wants.

After breakfast is 9.30, surely?

It might mean 9.30 to you, but there is no "surely" about it, as this thread clearly demonstrates. Why do people assume that everyone follows the same schedule as they do?

Else, why not say mid morning which is 10.30-11.30.

For many of us, after breakfast on a Sunday morning and mid-morning are pretty much interchangeable.

I'd consider it the height of rudeness to turn up at someone's house before 10am on a Sunday morning, unless specifically asked to arrive at a particular time. So even if I'd eaten breakfast at 7am, I probably wouldn't head over until 10.30-11ish.

If people make arrangements without specific times, then they have to expect that there will be differences in interpretation.

Fair enough, I don’t really care what you think either.

But you do come across as princessy and stroppy, and I’m sure your sister has her own tale to tell.

Using your kids as emotional blackmail is never ok by the way, and letting them get upset to prove a point is worse.

You really need to make an effort and handle these things better or you night find she doesnt want to be around you.

I'm amazed, she's never one for admitting she made any error at all. So that's the end of it as far as I'm concerned.

Whoa... sounds like you’re not one for admitting any errors. As the parent I think you were foolish to tell your DC to expect her “after breakfast” - that is too vague for them to understand - and also it was foolish of you for not specifying a time with your sister. YABU.

Is there a tap leaking somewhere?

So she’s got form for being a knob, seems like maybe it runs in the family!

In the OP's defence, her three or possibly two year old 'has been having a hard time'

My kids are autistic, they need routine, it’s absolutely crucial to them.

If someone is coming and it’s not a specific time, I distract them or use one of the many coping strategies we’ve learned over the years.

What I don’t do is expect the world to give as much of a shit about them as I do. Because that’s monumentally twatty.

Lol you'll be shouting troll next. That's fine, work away.

Thanks for the diverse range of views. Will definitely be more exact next time that's doe sure.

You are 100% in the wrong OP. And you sound like a huffy teenager tbh

'She's just apologised and said next time she'd give an actual specific time.'

That's fab

She knows she's ruffled your feathers alright

Lol you'll be shouting troll next. That's fine, work away

No, no troll would be this self absorbed and use their kids to get a reaction.

I don’t think you’re remotely funny or clever OP. No idea why you’re so proud of yourself.

You said yourself your child has been having a hard time, and you compounded that to gain points over your sister.

'I'm amazed, she's never one for admitting she made any error at all. So that's the end of it as far as I'm concerned. '

I think it's quite a happy ending personally.

There probably is background here.

Blimey it's sorted I don't think Op is being inflammatory TBH

WTAF? How do you figure that I've been a bad parent now?

Jesus, the pile-y on stuff..... Its insane.

My sister told him she'd be over on Sunday with a present. He asked me every bloody day if today was Sunday. I texted her on Friday saying it was cute how he kept asking if it was Sunday. This morning finally was Sunday. He said he wasn't going to get out of his pyjamas till she came as he wanted her to help him. Fine, cool, it's the weekend. We can wait a little while.

When is she coming? After breakfast. When is she coming? Soon. When is she coming? Soon. Let's watch a movie. Is she bringing a present? Let's see. Want to go iyt into the garden? No, I want to wait for X. OK fine, let's go into the playroom. When is she coming? Soon. Let's play lego.

So honestly? Leave me alone with the bad parent shit.

You don’t care what I think OP, remember?

Hit a nerve though eh?

Seriously??? Jesus.

Next visit, arrange a specific time and don't tell DC. Then if she hasn't turned up within 30 mins of that time just go out. To the park or somewhere. She'll get the message eventually.

I'd assume they meant between 9 and 11 unless it was a lunch date arranged too.
Going on the fact most visits are 1-2 hours if 'coffee' and lunch is usually 12.30/1ish.

She's been a piss poor sister in other words there's a massive backstory. So either share some of it with us or accept how hard it is for us to understand your dynamic.

Haha at turning up with teens after breakfast at 10, 10/30. Mine might have just been stumbling out of bed then. I'm not sure. I would have still been in mine.

Anyone showing up early, ie morning full stop would be left waiting on the doorstep.

I don't know why she apologised. 12 is still after breakfast.