"I'll be there after breakfast" What does that mean to you?

[Randomnamechange1000]

Just checking I'm not crazy. I thought that meant before 10? AIBU?

I would say after breakfast would be around 9 or 10. Maybe they got delayed? Most visitors wouldn't call before 9am.

Does it matter massively? You do seem disproportionately cross tbh. She’s a little late for “after breakfast” but only enough to warrant a minor eyeroll surely?

'NB A thought, OP - you are expecting your childfree sister to work to your children's weekend timetable - why should she not expect you to work to hers...?'

Quite

I wouldn't expect my childfree DB to be early on a Sunday

Are you jealous of her massive lie ins

I have three kids and still think it can mean anytime. Not all children wake up early, we enjoy lazy mornings in this house.

If you want to know what time then ask for a time, it is isn’t difficult!

For context I have two children and three childless brothers and I wouldn’t be remotely surprised by this timing.

On a weekend I would say just before twelve. We don’t have children yet and won’t be up and eating breakfast anytime before 10 on a Sunday.

Any time from about 6.30 am here, but I'd expect by 9.30 or 10.00 at the latest.

Otherwise, it's mid-morning, or just before lunch.

I suppose what I'm pissed off about is that she wouldn't be like this when visiting someone else.

She's amazing when visiting our cousin, who has kids. Sooooo considerate of their schedule. Tells me how she arrived sharply so as not to disrupt their day and then left at a perfect time so as not to get in the way of their meal prep for dinner etc.

I don't care for myself at all, but why can't my kids get the same consideration?

I told her that DS was expecting her earlier. She went mad.

So next time you will specify a time to her.

End of.

Siblings are annoying especially the child free ones!!

I told her that DS was expecting her earlier. She went mad

I would have too. Because your DS is upset because of what you’d told him, not her, and you expect her to change her schedule to jump to attention for your child when in actual fact if you’d just told him “she’ll get here when she gets here” all of this could have been avoided.

I’ve got 3 kids, and I wouldn’t expect an adult to dance to their tune for a meet up!

I told him "after breakfast"! Nobody expected 12 in fairness!

She said "I didn't think I'd be so late". I said then text! That's all! Easy!

OP you clearly started this expecting a different response, and you’re still adamant that she’s wrong.

Next time ask for a time, and be specific. Manage your own expectations (and your DSs) instead of expecting her to mind read.

Why didn’t you distract him with something else and leave him sitting at the window?

Next time, specify a time. Simple.

Id have been cross if Id been your sister too!

You made a vague leisurely arrangement - its really unfair of you tobe cross at your sister. Just enjoy her time with you.

I told him "after breakfast"!

I think this was a mistake tbh. A small child would interpret that quite literally, so he has probably been expecting her since 7am! Realistically, it doesn't sound like she was ever likely to arrive before 10ish, so it would have been better to manage his expectations.

She probably didn't expect to arrive as late as 12, but perhaps anticipated being there by 11.30ish. And yes, she should have texted, but actually, I thought you said she did?!

I'd have clarified a time. After breakfast for me would be 8am but I can see how it could be 11am for some people.

Older people I’d take it to mean 10am. People with kids, anytime after 9am

I'm an older people and I'd hope it meant around 11.55am.

I remember my friend getting the arse when I turned up at lunchtime (1pm) not having read her mind and knowing her children ate lunch at 11.30am and the children were upset I hadn't been there. It had been presented as a casual 'pop over for lunch, I'll do a picnic' so I didn't realise I was expected at a particular time.

I don't see much of her these days as she assumed the whole world was on her childrens scedule and got the hump when that wasn't the case.

He's been having a hard time. I just felt fucking sorry for him. Of course there was TV, but I honestly kept expecting her to walk in the door.

And she had promised him a present when she came. So that was a whole thing. Not from me I hasten to add!

And I'm sorry but it's rude not to text.

If you were all visiting someone and you said "after breakfast" and you turned up at 12, that would be perfectly good manners then?

Id think turning up at 1 when they're preparing a picnic was late too...

People without kids just don't get it
Seriously, get over yourself. People without children are quite able to understand kids, your sister just clearly feels she can be more flexible with you / didn't think ds would be so excited / got delayed unexpectedly. It isn't her life choice or fertility that has made her turn up an hour later than expected without letting you know.

If you knew, as someone with children would surely know, that he was going to be this excited, I'd have told him lunch time. Because even 11 which is reasonable for after breakfast is a long wait if child is up nd breakfasts by 8

Does your phone only receive texts and calls but can't do outward ones? Mine started doing that when it was due an upgrade.

How old is DS?

I'd def be asking sis to not promise him presents, he should be excited to see her, not what he's going to get