What's better than a duck?

[Goldenbug]

What's better than a duck?

A Pomeranian running towards you, its floof flying in the breeze, a huge pommie grin on its face. Sorry but that’s better than a duck.

A duck walking up to a lemonade stand who says to the man running the stand; “hey got any grapes”?

What does it want grapes for?

Disco ducks are still ducks. I don't discriminate between the makes.

No Bluth. And I am the judge of duck/thing comparisons.

Depends how low the cottage door is:

Duck or grouse!

Because he’s a dickhead.

But my pom is all soft and floofy, surely that’s better than an oily, feathery duck .

This reminds me of my favourite surreal joke:

What is the difference between a duck?

One of its legs is both the same!

Thank you everyone, I am here all week.

On a serious note, I’d say a goose is better than a duck - you can get a roast dinner for 5 with enough left over to do sticky Asian goose for 5 the next day from a goose, but you couldn’t get that many servings from a duck. Plus the goosefat you drain off whilst you are roasting it makes the best roast potatoes, and is delicious as dripping on toast, with a sprinkle of sea salt. And it makes the best bubble and squeak too.

A great crested grebe. All the advantages of a duck, but with more exciting plumage.

Goose - Nope. Just a less confident swan. More dangerous though. None of this 'breaking your arm' stuff. They play the long game and get you with cholesterol from their fat.

Grebe - Yes. Absolutely.

What sort of ducks?

If you're talking eiders with the drake Frankie Howard impression, heck yes.

Smug daffy duck.

Any duck will do. As the song nearly goes. I have in mind a mallard, but others are available.

A cormorant. Cos they're also called a shag. Loads of mileage in that one.

The common cormorant or shag lays its eggs in a paper bag.

How about a puffin - because baby puffins are called pufflings - who could resist that?

Shag

Three ducklings? Specifically the three fluffy yellow Aylesbury ducklings we've just brought home!

Cormorants are not Shags. www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=3&v=rnFxBfRN7ak

Puffins - No.

Pufflings - Yes.

Mallards are evil according to DS.

Scuse the decor - we've recently moved and need to paint.

There was a very cute baby rabbit on our terrace today. Way better than a duck.

A sparrow

A parrot.

Partridge?