What's better than a duck?

[Goldenbug]

What's better than a duck?

Duck duck goose?

A rabbit.

Ducklings

Nothing. Ducks are the best.

I have to argue with you reason why kittens aren't better. You can state ducks are better because cats poo everywhere, ducks also do.

But I'm offering a robin.

*Can't state, not can. Gah!!

A tortoise.

A Basset Hound

Got a backlog.

A pigmy marmoset. - No. Eyes of a killer. (See pic)

flamingo - No. Lanky ducks in drag.

baby Spiders- You weirdo!

Emu - No. Wannabie ostriches.

Baby squirrel - Greys: No. Reds: Yes.

a seahorse

axolotl - Too wet. Ducks aren't wet. You can pour water on their backs but it just runs off like...never mind.

rabbit - No. Sex mad. Like floppy eared Russell Brands.

robin - No. They eat worms. If you had a boyfriend who ate worms would you think "how cute"?

tortoise - No. Possibly the least sexy animal in the world.

Basset Hound - No. Depressing to even look at.

Seahorse - Close, good to see dads looking after their children, but no.

A Calabar angwantibo

Ducking under a bar?

Top ladies sport. Up and coming. Watch this space.

Wow, hold on. No to Robin? Because you'd no like a boyfriend who eats worms.

Well!!

Listen If you're looking for an better to an alternative to a duck for a boyfriend then that adds a whole different spin on things.

And you were interested in the hedgehog...

A snot otter is better than an axolotl.

In cricketing circles a duck is not good at all. A golden duck, despite its apparent promise of untold riches and good fortune, is even worse.

In July 1956 Sidney Chalfont, opening batsman for Catford East and Hither Green Sunday League Old Boys, once fell victim to two golden ducks in the same match; broke the left lens of his spectacles; left his cricketing box on the windowsill in the gents; reversed into the Chief Constable’s Jensen Interceptor in the car park; got booked for speeding on the South Circular and then returned home to find that Mrs Chalfont had left to live in Maidstone with the coalman.

This proves conclusively that ducks are mostly shit.