How to deal with friend making me feel awkward

[NotSinisterAtAll]

Yesterday I took my friend some flowers and some wine for her birthday. I was quite happy to stand on the doorstep but she asked me in. I did say no as I was feeling a little awkward but she insisted so I went in to the hallway and shut the door. We chatted and she beckoned me in to the house more. I kept saying no, meaning I’m ok to just chat here. She opened her lounge door and her kids were sat at the table having their tea. They said hi, seemed pleased to see me. She asked me in to the lounge but I said no as I didn’t want to feel more awkward. She eventually took me by the wrist and took me in to the lounge. We chatted, all was ok but I just felt a bit awkward. Eventually we went back outside chatted more and I left. Bit later I got a text saying thank you for the flowers and apologising for making me feel awkward. She realised she’d made me feel this way, however, I’m wondering if I should pull her up on it in person? She’d probably feel awkward herself and probably humiliated but I feel I need to say something for it not to happen again. WWYD? Should I accept the text apology and leave it or pull her up on it and risk humiliating her (which may seem extreme but she’s very sensitive). I’m stuck.

She didn't make you feel awkward.
Until you realise that it was your issues causing the awkwardness I can't see anything changing for you.

Yes it was my own doing in feeling awkward. It would have been better if she had been on her own, I think she’d have preferred that too.

Had you arranged to go around at that time? Was it you or your friend that stated when to visit?

I think if you would rather Friends are alone when you see them then you need to be more proactive at planning when you visit them. If you just drop by unannounced then chances are she’s going to be with her kids and partner. In your situation if i’d really not have wanted to go into the house then i’d have just said I was really needing to pop to the shops for something and would catch up properly another time.

It would have been better if she had been on her own, I think she’d have preferred that too.

I think you need to see someone for your issues, Why on earth do you think she would prefer her husband not to be in his own home? You turned up unexpected made a scene then expected an apology from your friend who done nothing but welcome you.

@PunxsutawneyHogwash

It was prearranged I’d go to her. I didn’t give a specific time, just text her when I was in my way as she’d requested. It was Sunday evening so obviously she’d not have been alone. I realise the awkwardness was self inflicted.

Ah OK. So it's not surprising that the family were together and eating a meal on a Sunday teatime.

So have you texted her back to say there is no need for her to apologise?

Do you have other issues op in social interaction?

Your friends behaviour is normal. Yours is not. From the visit to wishing to "pull her up on it" and make it her fault.

Text her back and say "gosh please don't apologise, and thanks for inviting me in, it was lovely to see you all" and leave it there.

But as said, do you have other or previous issues with managing normal social interaction?

@PunxsutawneyHogwash

It was just the kids eating their meal.

I have replied but not mentioned the apology. Just said she deserved the flowers for all her recent help. She hasn’t replied to me.

@Bluntness100

Yes

Im completely confused by this. If I was in your shoes id feel awful that she was apologising when she’s done nothing wrong.

Ok, I guess she apologised as she knows you may have social interaction issues and realised belatedly.

It's very difficult for someone to see a friend with gifts and just accept them and shut the door. Possibly she only realised just how deep your issues go during the visit so apologised. She sounds like a nice friend.

Please try to accept these are your issues not hers and move on.

I just spoke to my husband about it, he said she obviously knows you better than you think. Obviously I wouldn’t go out if my way to humiliate her as I know she’d back away from me, “pulling her up on it” was too strong a term.

Ah she sounds like a lovely friend. You know yabu and should probably apologise or at the very least tell your friend she has nothing to apologise for.

Jesus OP, do you go through your life actually inventing problems to 'pull people up on'?

You sound utterly ridiculous.

You should be apologising to your friend for behaving like a petulant, attention seeking child.

She tried to be polite. Realised she crossed your boundaries and apologised unprompted. Let it go

And your title is wrong. Your friend didn't make you feel awkward. If anything it was the other way around

@Potato2242

If she hadn’t insisted on me coming in, had listened when I said no, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

You sound completely self absorbed, Are you actually going to apologise to her?

No but I wont raise it with her either. She’ll probably approach me about it when I see her later but I’ll just tell her to forget it.

I think the issue is yours, not hers.

If she left you on the dorstep, then you’d be saying she was rude to do that. She behaved very politely

She sounds like a good friend and you not so much yourself if you are willing to let her believe she has done something wrong. thats shocking behaviour imo.

So what you really want to pull her up on is not listening when you said no, you didn’t want to go in. Is that right?

Op you're getting a hard time.

You suffer from anxiety. You could manage it by popping round, saying hi on the doorstep and going.

Instead your friend cajoled you into the house and physically pulled you into the lounge against your protestations.

I'm sure she didn't mean any harm but it doesn't make you wrong wither