How to deal with friend making me feel awkward

[NotSinisterAtAll]

Yesterday I took my friend some flowers and some wine for her birthday. I was quite happy to stand on the doorstep but she asked me in. I did say no as I was feeling a little awkward but she insisted so I went in to the hallway and shut the door. We chatted and she beckoned me in to the house more. I kept saying no, meaning I’m ok to just chat here. She opened her lounge door and her kids were sat at the table having their tea. They said hi, seemed pleased to see me. She asked me in to the lounge but I said no as I didn’t want to feel more awkward. She eventually took me by the wrist and took me in to the lounge. We chatted, all was ok but I just felt a bit awkward. Eventually we went back outside chatted more and I left. Bit later I got a text saying thank you for the flowers and apologising for making me feel awkward. She realised she’d made me feel this way, however, I’m wondering if I should pull her up on it in person? She’d probably feel awkward herself and probably humiliated but I feel I need to say something for it not to happen again. WWYD? Should I accept the text apology and leave it or pull her up on it and risk humiliating her (which may seem extreme but she’s very sensitive). I’m stuck.

Youre close enough to give her a birthday present but you feel akward about turning up at kid's teatime and being asked in.Send her a text,
"Next time I turn up with a gift I would appreciate it if you just grab it and slam the door in my face, your insistence on acting like a normal, informal friendly human being has made me feel so bad that I have been forced to post on MN for validation, Thank you"

Call the police, get it logged.
Phone Social Services NOW
Go no contact
lastly, LTB.

Pull her up on what? She tried to make you feel comfortable and invited you in and you were feeling awkward because you obviously have some social issues (not judging - I have too). It's totally your issues that were the problem there. Don't further alienate your fried by blaming her for your awkwardness, just forget about it, it really was no big deal.

I wouldn't pull her up on anything.

She sounds nice.

Op can you qualify WHAT you want to pick your friend up on?

She’s sensitive? You’re nuts! You’ve used the word ‘awkward’ four times in your post. Yes, you are. It’s irritating. Have a word with yourself.

Bizarre.

Surely you should apologise for making things awkward by insisting on standing in the hall.

Thankyou for all responses. I know I sound crazy. I don’t know why I felt awkward, I see her often enough. Perhaps as it was my first proper call to her house since she’d moved and her husband was there (im very cautious of men I don’t know), but in reality I don’t know why I did. As I say she text me later to say thankyou and included the apology. I’ll leave it as that as she obviously could tell I was feeling awkward. She is a very good friend for what it’s worth.

Op why the awkwardness, and why should friend be apologising ?

Ooops crosspost

As I say she text me later to say thankyou and included the apology. I’ll leave it as that as she obviously could tell I was feeling awkward

You have now made her feel awkward enough to apologise when she has done nothing wrong. You owe her a huge apology not just for being rude but for making her feel like she had done something wrong.

Ok so you want to correct her for pulling you into the house against your will rather than for inviting you in during tea?
Given she's apologised and realised she over stepped I'd leave it for now but you do need to try to be more forceful with no and if she doesn't listen then simply say you will get off actually, see you soon.

She loves you and wanted you to come in, she’s was welcoming you and was delighted to see you!
Next time, just give her a big hug and go right in even if it’s only for five minutes!
She obviously thinks a lot of you. Accept that fact and enjoy your friendship x

Why on earth did she have to apologise? She didn’t do anything wrong other than try and be sociable and friendly to you

It's a good job she's a good friend as you sound like hard work if you want to pull someone up for being friendly and inviting you into their home what else do you get offended over?

Maybe you shouldn't visit people's houses on the spur so this doesn't happen again. She hasn't done anything wrong.

If my DC were sat inside eating their tea I wouldn't want to be outside with you, I would want to be inside my house. Maybe that's how she felt?

@HotSauceCommittee

She always tells me she loves me so I know she does.

I lost count of how many times you wrote the word awkward.

If this was the other way round- you’d gone to the house with a present and she left you on the doorstep and wouldn’t let you in- it would have she’s a CF screaming from the masses. You brought her present- of course it would be strange not to ask you in. If your social anxiety with strange men is that severe, I’d suggest that you think about when you visit friends, and don’t turn up unannounced. Make definite plans regarding the contact you expect with them, and that they are on their own. Although I really feel that you should be the one apologising, not the friend.

I think she knows that she made you anxious but she still wants to encourage you in because you're a friend.
She's apologising because she realises she may have pushed you beyond your boundaries.
I'd just text back saying she doesn't need to apologise, you know you're a bit awkward and thank you for bearing with you.

8 lost!

She's a very good friend but you felt awkward being in the house because he husband was there? I think it's probably wise to be cautious about being alone with strange men but this seems like taking caution far too far to me

I think the heart of the issue is your feelings about strange men etc. You need to own your issues and not expect the people around you to know exactly how to behave according to your wishes. There's nothing to pull her up on. If you think there is, and you say something, she's likely to back off quicker than Tommy Robinson at a drill gig.

You’ll ‘leave it at that’? That’s good of you. Are you sure you don’t want to escalate your complaint? Take it to her line manager?

@KittyHawke80
Funny