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Original poster

Serious issues in a child’s home

117 replies

beehive74 · 19/04/2018 20:00

Hi need some advice. Dd10 has a best friend who lives in a nice house etc. Parents very unsociable to the point that if you drop their child off after a sleepover they don’t come to the door and the child lets themselves in. Anyway this kid (she’s one of 3 children in home) has told my dd and me a lot. She doesn’t have toys or books just a bed in her room. She has to stay in there all the time. Parents don’t talk to her at all. She has a slice of toast for tea , no breakfast, and a packet of crisps in her packed lunch bag (I’ve been doubling daughters packed lunch for 6 months so she eats!) .. it’s horrendous the things she says. Anyway to cut a long story short she told someone at school today that her dad hit her older sister (12) round face with house phone last night. She was pulled out of class and not seen her since. I’m really worried they might have sent her home and don’t realise just how bad things are and have told him what she said.
Question is .. would u contact school n tell them everything else you know? I don’t want to interfere as had a similar issue a couple of years ago with another child and caused my daughter to have a really bad time through bullying. Help!!

OP posts:
Original poster
beehive74 · 19/04/2018 20:02

As I said. I’ve been helping this girl daily with breakfast lunch etc .. doing everything I can without causing her too much grief n she’s finally got to stage she’s felt able to tell the right people what’s happening

OP posts:
marthastew · 19/04/2018 20:03

You need to call the police. That's child abuse.

EspressoButler · 19/04/2018 20:03

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ILikeMyChickenFried · 19/04/2018 20:05

I think I'd tell school what you've been told.

Noqonterfy · 19/04/2018 20:08

I'd say something

Original poster
beehive74 · 19/04/2018 20:08

Reason I didn’t before is I’ve had snapshots of it. I’ve known about the daily food situation but then odd things happened that made me think maybe I was wrong. It’s a complex situation and if I’d ever seen a bruise or she had told me something that bad I would have reacted straight away. Now the school know I’m not sure whether to interfere and tell them what I know too

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zzzzz · 19/04/2018 20:09

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OnTopOfSpaghetti · 19/04/2018 20:10

Please tell the school. I'm quite shocked you've let this go on for so long without informing anyone. School will be trying to piece together a picture of this girl's situation and you have some very important pieces of the jigsaw.

EatWorms · 19/04/2018 20:11

Yes you need to tell police op

Original poster
beehive74 · 19/04/2018 20:12

Thank you, I will go in first thing xx just to clarify if I thought she was in serious danger I would have acted before, but as I said it’s been very complex and only known this child a short time

OP posts:
imstartingtogetangrynow · 19/04/2018 20:13

Please tell the school, it will help the child.

Tika77 · 19/04/2018 20:13

NOt feeding a child is abuse.

newdaylight · 19/04/2018 20:15

Social care more suitable than police. Social care will involve police if needed.

ShackUp · 19/04/2018 20:15

OP safeguarding is a puzzle, you'll never get to see 'the whole picture', it only comes together when people report their individual concerns. Please don't hesitate to do so. Poor girl.

Original poster
beehive74 · 19/04/2018 20:18

Does anyone here know if the school would have sent her home .. she was crying to my dd said they had told her they needed to speak to her dad and she was scared. Then disappeared and didn’t see her rest of day. Surely school wouldn’t have sent her home?! I’m really worried

OP posts:
sosadforhim · 19/04/2018 20:19

Please contact the head teacher of the school asap. Act on your information and phone them in the morning. It's better to speak out and be wrong, than say nothing and discover it was as bad as you thought. Alternatively phone your local Child Protection Team.

BertieBotts · 19/04/2018 20:20

No. If she disclosed abuse to the school they would definitely not have sent her home. She may have become distressed in which case they may have removed her from classes to spare her from classmates' questions - she may have also then been taken on to police station or a temporary foster care placement while an emergency order was made.

BertieBotts · 19/04/2018 20:21

When you say she "told someone at school" I assume you're talking about an adult, not another child? So an adult at the school would be aware of the disclosure, and if the child had gone missing herself (e.g. left school early to warn Dad) then they would have escalated to contacting police rather than simply phoning parents.

sosadforhim · 19/04/2018 20:22

I'd contact Child Protection after the school, to ensure info is passed on quickly to all.

DyslexicNotThick · 19/04/2018 20:23

Social care definitely need to be told. Even without the information given today at school, the info you already had would have triggered an assessment in my county. And while thresholds vary from country to county, I can't believe a report of not been fed adequately being ok in any county.
Google your county safeguarding board, and you should find a contact number.
I know it seems a serious thing to do...it is, but imagine how life feels for that child and the other children in the house. I'm sure you can overcome your reluctance in order to help them.

mineofuselessinformation · 19/04/2018 20:26

Call the school. Ask for the Designated Safeguarding Lead. Every school must have one by law.
Tell them everything you've said here. They may well not be able to tell you if there has any action taken already, but you will have given them the information, and they will refer it on for a decision to be made about what happens next.
It's all you can do. Contacting the school will be taken seriously.

Abitlost2015 · 19/04/2018 20:27

I’d call social services, they will be better placed than the school to assess the situation.

gamerchick · 19/04/2018 20:28

I seriously can’t understand why you haven’t told the school what she’s been saying before now! Child protection is puzzle pieces, even the smallest thing will fit. Please speak to the school tomorrow.

gamerchick · 19/04/2018 20:29

I’d call social services, they will be better placed than the school to assess the situation

I’ve always found the school first brings faster results than contacting social services yourself.

Original poster
beehive74 · 19/04/2018 20:30

Bertiebots this is the thing, she’s been seeing what she calls a counsellor in school... once a week .. I think it’s social services but she says that all her parents have said is she has to see someone because there’s something wrong with her. Now after knowing her since last sept I can say there is nothing wrong with this girl mentally!

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