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Original poster

Serious issues in a child’s home

117 replies

beehive74 · 19/04/2018 20:00

Hi need some advice. Dd10 has a best friend who lives in a nice house etc. Parents very unsociable to the point that if you drop their child off after a sleepover they don’t come to the door and the child lets themselves in. Anyway this kid (she’s one of 3 children in home) has told my dd and me a lot. She doesn’t have toys or books just a bed in her room. She has to stay in there all the time. Parents don’t talk to her at all. She has a slice of toast for tea , no breakfast, and a packet of crisps in her packed lunch bag (I’ve been doubling daughters packed lunch for 6 months so she eats!) .. it’s horrendous the things she says. Anyway to cut a long story short she told someone at school today that her dad hit her older sister (12) round face with house phone last night. She was pulled out of class and not seen her since. I’m really worried they might have sent her home and don’t realise just how bad things are and have told him what she said.
Question is .. would u contact school n tell them everything else you know? I don’t want to interfere as had a similar issue a couple of years ago with another child and caused my daughter to have a really bad time through bullying. Help!!

OP posts:

Notevilstepmother · 19/04/2018 20:53

Ok cross post about why. Sorry.

Original poster

beehive74 · 19/04/2018 20:54

Thank you Sarah that’s exactly what I’ve done.. tried to make her life better.. twice this week she said ur the only adult that’s nice to me, it broke my heart. This child is exceeding in every subject, highly intelligent , it’s taken 6 months to gain her trust and I’ve done everything I can apart from report it x

OP posts:

OnTheRise · 19/04/2018 20:55

I would phone the police right now, to make sure they knew that a child was in imminent danger.

It sounds awful. I hope the family gets the help they need.

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IamHappy1976 · 19/04/2018 20:58

Don't wait until tomorrow. Phone social services and NSPCC TONIGHT with your concerns. If they have picked her up, fab. If not - who knows what she is going through tonight if she has opened up and shared something today! Just Google and find a number and call it.
People (abusers) behave dreadfully when they feel under pressure. Please x

blueskyinmarch · 19/04/2018 20:59

It is unlikely the police or out of hours SW would be able to do anything meaningful overnight. They just don't have the staff or the resources. Best that OP just contacts the school in the morning.

Doobydoo · 19/04/2018 21:00

Tell the school OP and hopefully they will add it to the other info.

Malaco · 19/04/2018 21:00

I would have told the school about the food situation as soon as i knew about it.

Sarahjconnor · 19/04/2018 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mathanxiety · 19/04/2018 21:02

Phone the police.
Phone SS.
This should be done tonight.

Then tomorrow phone the school and ask to speak to the safeguarding lead.

IamHappy1976 · 19/04/2018 21:02

NSPCC 080880050000. Call them and they'll give you advice and let you know which local numbers to call. I mean this in the nicest way - stop enjoying the drama online and actually do something!

mathanxiety · 19/04/2018 21:04

You are a star for feeding and befriending this child, and for letting your DD go to her home. Many would have held back from that level of involvement by their own child given that the parents are so odd.

Pinga · 19/04/2018 21:04

I think you should have reported about this situation sooner but definitely time to report now.

0hCrepe · 19/04/2018 21:04

Yes tell the school. This is the problem with confidentiality- you sometimes end up keeping abuse secret for fear of breaching it.

wishingiwaslucky47 · 19/04/2018 21:06

I’m surprised you haven’t raised this sooner with someone, (school, Social Work, NSPCC). If she told the school about her sister being assaulted by her dad, the school will have automatically contacted social work, and it would have been taken from there.

I’m sorry but I work with vulnerable children, and I seriously cannot understand why you didn’t raise the food issue or whatever else she has told you before now!

So please, please contact school or social work tomorrow, they will probably want to speak to you about it.

Original poster

beehive74 · 19/04/2018 21:08

Trust me I’m not enjoying any drama ... I will go into school first thing and speak to headteacher and see what she says .. will also make a call in the morning to local social services ... thank you all for your advice, I will do anything I can for this child and will continue if necessary as before. What the negative posters don’t realise is that I’ve done everything I can without putting her at risk by reporting. If I had and it got back she wouldn’t have had those breakfasts, lunches etc .. she wouldn’t have had anyone to talk to or the breaks from hell when she stayed at mine. I’ve been in a catch 22 situation and I’m so so proud of her for finally speaking up to a qualified person today!

OP posts:

MsJudgemental · 19/04/2018 21:08

If she has disclosed physical abuse, rest assured that the safeguarding team would have called in SS straight away. She will not have been sent home.

Ickyockycocky · 19/04/2018 21:09

You need to report this to Children's Social Care. You need to speak to them directly as if you tell the school and they tell them, it will be second hand information.

Calling the police is for emergencies.

IamHappy1976 · 19/04/2018 21:11

Yes, definitely tell the school tomorrow (when there are people there!) but you need to do report it now. I might sound annoying and petty and maybe the "authorities" might be too busy right now, but she'll be high on their list of priorities tomorrow (before school opens). As a pp said, your information might be the final jigsaw piece which takes this child from being neglected to being at risk of serious and imminent harm

Original poster

beehive74 · 19/04/2018 21:12

Thank you that puts my mind at rest somewhat. Just to clarify too the first physical abuse I heard of was today after she had reported it herself .. it’s all been emotional neglect until now

OP posts:

flowerslemonade · 19/04/2018 21:27

I agree you should do something tonight if you can.

Please will you let us know what happens?

Original poster

beehive74 · 19/04/2018 21:29

Will update tomorrow , thank you all x

OP posts:

DailyMailFail101 · 19/04/2018 21:34

School would already be dealing with a situation where a child only gets crisps in a packed lunch, school would be giving her a school meal and contacting parents, are you sure this girl isn’t making things up?

LiteraryDevil · 19/04/2018 21:40

I would report to social services ASAP and also speak to school.

Original poster

beehive74 · 19/04/2018 21:42

They are year 6 on packed lunches.. I’ve asked my daughter questions constantly like haven’t they noticed u have same drinks food etc .. she says “dinner nannies” only come to table if there’s an arguement otherwise they are dealing with younger children and in the hot food area. I told school they needed to check lunch bags as I believed some children weren’t being fed and nothing happened .. I did what I could. And ended up just doubling up so daughter fills this girls lunch bag every morning on way to school as they walk together.

OP posts:

LoveProsecco · 19/04/2018 21:46

This is so sad. I hope she & her siblings get love & care

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