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Original poster

If you best friend of 35+ yrs admitted to having an affair with your husband?

123 replies

Screaminginsideme · 19/01/2018 19:03

So it’s been a traumatic year. DD has been diagnosed with a disease so rare it’s know as an orphan disease. It will effect her for the rest of her life and has changed everything. My youngest DD lost her BFF this week as her mum died and she had to move away. Wednesday(the day of the funeral) my best friend of 35+ years, the God mother of my children, the only woman I’ve ever trusted fully imploded my world by admitting that 8years ago she had a fling with my husband. She, my husband and her husband have been lying to me all this time. I haven’t stopped shaking, I can’t get warm.
We have two kids- her kids are like my kids. Husband is desperate to make it all ok but only cause I now know

OP posts:
KungFuEric · 19/01/2018 19:05

Bloody hell. Why did she tell you? I mean what was her reason given.

8 years ago? How long have you and your husband been together?

nancy75 · 19/01/2018 19:05

Why did she tell you? If it was a quick thing that was over 8 years ago why has she dragged it up now? She’s not your friend, she’s made you feel awful so she feels less guilty I’d guess?

Booagain · 19/01/2018 19:06

Oh hun, I’m so sorry to hear this :( how devastating. It must be incredibly raw on top of everything else you’re dealing with.
Did you find out or did they tell you? I hope you are alright and can talk to someone in real life about this. Can you get away for a night perhaps?

Original poster
Screaminginsideme · 19/01/2018 19:07

Her husband basically got sick of watching her be all matey with us and said either she tells me or he’d walk

OP posts:
doowapwap · 19/01/2018 19:08

How long have you been married? Was she single when the affair happened?

autumnboys · 19/01/2018 19:09

screaming I don’t know what I would do, or what to say, but offering you a handhold. Could you face a cup of tea?

What your husband wants right now is irrelevant. You don’t have to make any decisions today, or tomorrow, or until you’re ready. Flowers

TheHeartOfTeFiti · 19/01/2018 19:09

So it’s been over for 8 years & she chooses now of all times to tell you why???? Do you have anyone to talk too?

Taylor22 · 19/01/2018 19:10

Bye bitch.

But really OP I'm so so sorry for all the shit you've got to deal with right now.

Voliday · 19/01/2018 19:10

My jaw hit the floor. Geeze, just awful. I'm really sorry.

K1092902 · 19/01/2018 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Desmondo2016 · 19/01/2018 19:11

Fucking hell. Not much shocks me on here but you poor poor thing. How the heck did she tell You?

Notasperfectasallothermners · 19/01/2018 19:12

Ditch them both of course.
What other option is there?
And he gets to tell your dc.

yikesanotherbooboo · 19/01/2018 19:12

What an awful betrayal, I'm so sorry . Look after yourself .

supersop60 · 19/01/2018 19:12

So sorry to hear this OP. Just offering a hand hold and Brew until the wise people come along.

doowapwap · 19/01/2018 19:12

K109 is that a helpful or appropriate??

StrictlySnow · 19/01/2018 19:13

They'd both be out of my life forecer

Original poster
Screaminginsideme · 19/01/2018 19:14

Maybe not but it made me smile- my life is very jezzer Kyle right now

OP posts:
FoxSticks · 19/01/2018 19:15

This all sounds so awful, was she with her husband at the time?

needapaddle · 19/01/2018 19:16

I’d walk away from both of them no matter what the cost. Then find out who your real friends are. If he can do it once (& lie for many years after) then he can (& probably has done) do it again. Plus she is no friend of yours. What’s her husband like? You can come out of this stronger but neither of them are worth your time. Flowers

supersop60 · 19/01/2018 19:16

It sounds like it's been over for a long time, and she and your DH have tried to keep things 'normal'.
Her DH though, has been bothered by it for years and has issued an ultimatum.
Not helpful - just trying to assess the situation.

Original poster
Screaminginsideme · 19/01/2018 19:16

So OH and I have been together nearly 20 years married since 2004(she was bridesmaid) she’s been married for 11years. She invited me over and just deoppped the bomb

OP posts:
ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 19/01/2018 19:16

I hope at the very least your friend told you on bended knee, begging for forgiveness. They're both utterly disgusting.

Does it tally up at all, looking back? What the fuck were they thinking?

I'm so sorry Sad

LML83 · 19/01/2018 19:16

That is awful, I am trying to imagine how you feel and I can't even imagine my friend doing that. You must be so shocked and hurt.
Don't rush any decisions. Sorry no real advice xx

TheVanguardSix · 19/01/2018 19:16

Holy shit on hot buttered toast. Wow! I mean, what a week. Your daughter's diagnosis is difficult enough on its own, without the other traumatic events thrown into the mix. I'm terribly sorry for you.
You'll have to catch your breath here. Is there any safe haven you can go to? Mum's? Sister's? Another friend's? A hotel for the night, just to get space? News like this is just suffocating.
Flowers

needapaddle · 19/01/2018 19:17

Oh and a large Gin for you, I hope you’re doing ok.

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