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Original poster

His 50th party tonight....affair 10 years, should she spill the beans?

132 replies

Tequilamockingbirdturd · 02/09/2017 20:32

A female friend has been having a ten year affair with a guy who is celebrating his 50th birthday (he's the married one) at a hotel tonight.... she's feeling pretty shit, he's been very insensitive about it, and has really been messing her around over the years. What would you do if you was her tonight?

OP posts:

Couchpotato3 · 02/09/2017 20:33

I wouldn't spoil his party, if that's what you're driving at. It takes two to have an affair, and she has chosen to be with him for 10 years so far. Unless he has done something truly awful, I wouldn't end it tonight.

WestWithTheSun · 02/09/2017 20:34

I'd stop mucking around with someone else's husband.

PaintingByNumbers · 02/09/2017 20:34

I'd leave him? Is she not married as well? How foolish to throw away ten years like that, but still, plenty more fish in the sea ...

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TheNaze73 · 02/09/2017 20:35

I'd get some self respect & go for someone who was available.

NoCapes · 02/09/2017 20:35

What significance is his birthday?
She's been shagging him for 10 years, him turning 50 doesn't make any difference to that

kateclarke · 02/09/2017 20:36

Er no. He would ruin the night for everyone. Just tell him to fuck off in private

MapMyMum · 02/09/2017 20:36

Id do myself a huge favour and block his number and never see or speak to him again. I wouldnt ruin the party, more for the other guests than anything esle, but I would be inclined to tell the wife at some point. If it were me I'd want to know

PacificDogwod · 02/09/2017 20:36

What's the birthday got to do with it?
What would she achieve by 'going public' on a big occasion? Other than telling the world that she has wasted 10 years with a cheating shit??

She needs to end it, tonight or whenever.

OrphanAccount · 02/09/2017 20:37

I wouldn't disrupt his party if that's what you're getting at.

I would, however, reflect on why I was wasting my time with a man who clearly has no intention of leaving his wife and has been happy to deceive her for a decade. Hardly a catch, is he?

Original poster

Tequilamockingbirdturd · 02/09/2017 20:37

She's single, I know what your saying thinking with your head when your not in that situation.... he had been really insensitive about the party he even said about the plans...."yes the plans are coming on great, everyone is coming"

OP posts:

MyBrilliantDisguise · 02/09/2017 20:37

To be honest, he's far, far less likely to leave now that he's 50. Financially it would be a disaster.

LIZS · 02/09/2017 20:38

Presumably she isn't invited? Tbh it illustrates how she is not high on his priority list and how much time sh is wasting as his bit on the side. Wife may well suspect, if not know, after all this time. "Friend" needs to move on asap and not look back.

CotswoldStrife · 02/09/2017 20:38

Is this for real? WWID if I was her - well I wouldn't sleep with someone else's husband! What does she expect? Why is she complaining about it now?

Boatmistress17 · 02/09/2017 20:39

She should see it as a kick up the arse to make plans to celebrate her own birthday -
with someone who is proud to show her off. .

Jojoanna · 02/09/2017 20:41

shes suddenly upset after 10 years because she's not invited and everyone else is.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 02/09/2017 20:41

I would have enough respect for his family not to cause them public embarrassment by wrecking the party. Tell them after if she wants to but it's likely to blow up in her face. He's obviously not going to leave the marriage by choice if he hasn't managed it yet, so she should walk away and get a life and some self-respect.

ivykaty44 · 02/09/2017 20:43

Dump him by text and then block his number and change hers delete everything and get him out of her life

Unless she wants more of the same, it's not like he's ever going to leave his wife and she may well know any way for all she knows

Original poster

Tequilamockingbirdturd · 02/09/2017 20:43

I agree with what you are saying but imagine being at home knowing the man you love and can't be with is at his party, she just feels shit I suppose

OP posts:

FrogsLegs31 · 02/09/2017 20:45

If you really care about your friend and this is not a reverse it's time to sit her down for a serious conversation.

She is wasting her life waiting for this man. She is the cake that he's eating on the side for free.
She needs to understand that this man has absolutely no reason to treat her any better. She has allowed him to give her scraps while fully aware that he is cheating on his wife.

The person who she should be furious with is herself! She has allowed herself to be treated this way and frankly deserves no better.

MadamePomfrey · 02/09/2017 20:46

Yeah I'd start by not having an affair with a married man but it's to late for that! She needs to stop the affair first and foremost! Second she's moaning is unfair on her!!! What about his wife!!

She needs to stop the affair and she needs to leave the party alone. I would also say she should tell the wife but calmly and in private the least the poor woman deserves is privacy to deal with all this!! She is the one who has been wronged not your friend who is having an affair and is pissed she's not invited to a party!!

BarbaraOcumbungles · 02/09/2017 20:46

She should a, imaging show shit the man wife would feel if she came clean and b, get some fucking self respect.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 02/09/2017 20:46

I've got a friend in this situation. She's single, has been in a relationship with a married man for 10+ years. When they started she liked the fact that there was no commitment on his part but it's got more serious over the years and now she would quite like it if ge fid commit yonder I think. But she also knows he's unlikely to do so. I know she wouldn't demean herself by turning up at his party uninvited but it would hurt her.

Personally I find her lover charming, funny and engaging. It doesn't stop me aliso thinking he's a compete wanlet.

CotswoldStrife · 02/09/2017 20:46

Is it you, OP?

What's different to all the other birthdays? Hardly likely that the man will throw a huge party and introduce a woman he's been hiding for the past ten years, is it? No chance of acceptance by the family!

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 02/09/2017 20:46

What's she proposing to do, turn up like the bad fairy? If she's been shagging a married man she is despicable and if it's been going on for 10 years she can't even use the "young and stupid" excuse.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 02/09/2017 20:47

Wanker that should say. Bloody autocorrect.

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