His 50th party tonight....affair 10 years, should she spill the beans?

[Tequilamockingbirdturd]

A female friend has been having a ten year affair with a guy who is celebrating his 50th birthday (he's the married one) at a hotel tonight.... she's feeling pretty shit, he's been very insensitive about it, and has really been messing her around over the years. What would you do if you was her tonight?

She's more whimsical and in a dream world I suppose

Someone who knowingly & deliberately chooses to participate in a situation that involves causing untold hurt & damage to another is not a 'whimsical dreamer' - they are simply a cunt.

Someone who does that for 10 years is a fucking atrocious cunt who I, personally, would not choose to have as a friend.

Zero sympathy.

OP I have worked as a counsellor in the past and this reads like Affair Bingo in many ways.

Just wanted to pick up on a big red flag you mentioned a while back: he tells her his wife is very 'money motivated'.

This is shorthand for 'it would financially ruin me to divorce my wife'.

In short, he's choosing his family and financial security over her. Getting older and the kids leaving home won't change that. In fact it'll make him worse. No one wants to head towards retirement age splitting half their assets and relocating or starting a new life.

He's comfortable as he is. And he has no need to change anything. He has exactly what he wants. She thought she did but now she's unhappy. Well, it's her that needs to change things, not him.

The man is not being insensitive discussing the party. Truth is, in the last ten years he's had lots of important experiences without her and holding the hand of another woman.
She's a mistress which is a part-time shadow at best.

Obviously can't comment whether or not he loves her but there are people who believe in having multiple wives and lovers and while I'm not an expert, these people may believe that they love more than one person. Truth is, he may love his wife too.

The man has said he won't divorce for financial reasons so your friend is not his number one priority. Does she not understand that?

It is good she feels shit. That's cognitive dissonance crumbling. It's progress for her.

there's nothing between him and his wife just practicalities of a family life

and if you believe that you're a bigger mug than I thought.
sorry, your friend is a mug.

I bet he and his wife still sleep together on a regular basis.
Cheats always tell OW
we are only together for the kids
It's a marriage in name only
she doesn't understand me like you do
we don't sleep together

It's usually a crock of shit and follows a script
All the above lies are told to OW in order to keep her sweet.

Oh and as well there being a high probability this man is still sleeping with his wife on a regular basis, I bet this man will have a good ole celebratory birthday shag after the party.

But of course he's not going to tell OW that.

A lot of cheats actually cheat on their OW with their wives.
The men are taking both women for a ride. pun intended

Were your friend's parents not that in to her?
Does she have a history of chasing men who are half interested?

whimsical and in a dream world

That's a funny way of describing someone who is a deceitful cheat.