Please help me settle this debate!?

[anon1987]

5 years ago when on holiday with my family and in laws, my partner got a panic attack so I had to take over driving one of the cars.

I was heavily pregnant and had barely driven since taking my test.
In tow I had my 2 daughters and my MIL.

We were following my FIL with my partner as a passenger in his car.

To get to the car park it involved driving up a very (and I mean very!) steep hill, (mountainous area.)

I approached the hill in 2nd gear and realised that the car wasn't going to make it when I was already half way up.
The car started to roll backwards, so I slammed my foot on the break repetitively but they just wouldn't work!
In the end as a split second last minute decision I pulled the hand break and we slid fast in a curve landing just an inch short of the cliff edge.
If it wasn't for a huge rock stopping the car, then we would have gone over.

My MIL opened the door then slammed it on her leg and then got out of the car and fell over, all whilst I was sat there in shock and trying to comfort my little girls.
My MIL fractured her leg.

I have always been blamed for that fracture despite there being 2 reasons why she would have fractured it (slamming her leg and falling over).

Secondly my MIL weighs over 25 stone, now this isn't meant to offend bigger ladies, but I blame the fact the car wouldn't stop on a combination of MILS weight and seriously steep hill. Yet my dp family say I'm stupid because I obviously didn't bother to break?!?!!
My MIL saw me frantically breaking!!
Yet she says nothing.

Who is to blame here? I need to settle this argument, because my dp mentioned it again this evening and it annoyed the hell out me.

I don't think it was your fault. It sounds like the brakes weren't working adequately?

Well if a car was on a cliff edge I'd get out.

If I had my loved ones in I'd get them out first.

I wouldn't blame anyone for me shutting a door on my leg.

Then again I'd be (pregnant or not) in the right gear for the terrain.

MIL weight shouldn't have been a factor in a modern car - unless you were on a race circuit.

Eatsshit I was in the right gear, and using a handbrake to stop the car on a Steep hill should bring the car to halt (according to professionals) which is why I suspect the weight of the car didn't help.

To be clear I downshifted again and then tried the breaks and then handbreak, the same as you would doing a hill start.
The breaks and handbreak wasn't enough to keep the car from rolling backwards.

Do you think your MIL can't remember seeing you brake or do you think she's deliberately pretending not to remember because she's thinks her weight may be the issue too and she is embarrassed about this?

Lucy yes I think that's the case. She definitely saw me, I was pounding on them like a mad person.

Your DP is a twat obviously.

Have you told your DP this?

If you've explained this and he is taking her side then I would be really angry about that as well.

RunRabbit normally I'd disagree but he's pissed me off tonight so for this one night il agree with you lol!

His panic attack meant you had to drive. What was the cause of the panic attack?

Lucy Iv explained this all time and time again, they all look at me blankly and laugh, eye roll etc.
Assume that the car breaks and hand break would have worked, and so therefore obviously I didn't use them.

RunRabbit he used to have an anxiety disorder. Nothing caused it, he just had a stressful job at the time and various other problems. He's better now through thankfully.

Were the brakes checked at all after this happened?

My apologies- from your description your driving was spot on.

That said you can challenge people over what happened or let it go with a sarcastic .

To be honest I'd drop MIL weight as an issue. Luggage in the car could have had the same impact.

Could the car have skidded on loose gravel?

Lucy it was a company car so it was serviced and checked frequently.
It managed all the other hills but this hill was extremely steep.

EatsShit but to be fair what luggage weighs over 25 stone?

I think her weight is a very valid reason why the brakes and hand brake wouldn't work.
It was a golf hatchback not a Land Rover.

MIL is wrong to blame you; sounds like the door swung into her leg because she opened it onto the slope?

You are wrong to attribute anything to her weight. You were two adults and two kids. 25 stone is two 12.5 stone people. Most cars would adequately handle four 20 stone people.

Have you explained to your DP that you think MIL is not admitting that you did brake because she is embarrassed about her weight?

I drove golf hatchbacks for the first 17 years of holding a licence. Her weight had absolutely nothing to do with the brakes failing.

Incidentally, how much did you weigh at the time?

From your story yanbu. BUT if the brakes fail on your car on Sunday- you don't use it again until it is fully serviced / inspected after.

So- either a mechanic agreed with you that both the brake and hand brake were faulty OR not. That's how it works. Machinery is or is not faulty.

Smitff so what do you suggest was the cause of the car not being able to reach the top?

Cooking nothing was wrong with the brakes, I managed to drive it fine without her in the car up the very same hill.

Example of hill. (Not kidding!)

It sounds like the brakes were faulty because presumably they should be able to cope with a 25 stone passenger even on a very steep hill?

I'm not a mechanic but I would have thought they have very strict safety tests around this sort of thing?