Please help me settle this debate!?

[anon1987]

5 years ago when on holiday with my family and in laws, my partner got a panic attack so I had to take over driving one of the cars.

I was heavily pregnant and had barely driven since taking my test.
In tow I had my 2 daughters and my MIL.

We were following my FIL with my partner as a passenger in his car.

To get to the car park it involved driving up a very (and I mean very!) steep hill, (mountainous area.)

I approached the hill in 2nd gear and realised that the car wasn't going to make it when I was already half way up.
The car started to roll backwards, so I slammed my foot on the break repetitively but they just wouldn't work!
In the end as a split second last minute decision I pulled the hand break and we slid fast in a curve landing just an inch short of the cliff edge.
If it wasn't for a huge rock stopping the car, then we would have gone over.

My MIL opened the door then slammed it on her leg and then got out of the car and fell over, all whilst I was sat there in shock and trying to comfort my little girls.
My MIL fractured her leg.

I have always been blamed for that fracture despite there being 2 reasons why she would have fractured it (slamming her leg and falling over).

Secondly my MIL weighs over 25 stone, now this isn't meant to offend bigger ladies, but I blame the fact the car wouldn't stop on a combination of MILS weight and seriously steep hill. Yet my dp family say I'm stupid because I obviously didn't bother to break?!?!!
My MIL saw me frantically breaking!!
Yet she says nothing.

Who is to blame here? I need to settle this argument, because my dp mentioned it again this evening and it annoyed the hell out me.

As for what actually happened: you asked for opinions and you have mine. Feel free to ignore it!

Lucy thankyou at least I have you on my side much appreciated

Sniftt I don't know what bee got up your backside this evening

To be fair the hill came as a surprise after a very long drive , turned a corner and no turning points available, hill started off fairly easy going and then as you went round the corner it was suddenly there.
Had I have known about it (there were no gradient signage) I wouldn't have bothered trying obviously For people that live in the area they're used to it and have cars to suit.

I'm sorry, but for the car to suddenly start slipping backwards when the gears are properly engaged would mean that the gear box had also failed. But then fixed itself when you drove it again subsequently. Mil's weight would have made no difference to a gear box failure.

The chances of that happening and the same thing happening with the brakes is so remote it's not really feasible.

Smiftt oh and don't worry I will ignore you. I expect you're more peeved off that I mentioned weight..perhaps it's a sore point for you, who knows.

No need for that, OP

Olennas hello???
You do understand the nature of gravity don't you?
Just because something has gears and brakes etc, doesn't mean it's actually going to stick to a 90 degree angle

Of course what happened can happen on an extremely steep hill..because it happened to us!? The car was skidding down the bloody hill for crying out loud.

Olenna and there's no need for people to look for ways to start a row on MN. I mean grow up for Christ sake, why is it that no matter what someone posts, they're is always someone ready to start bitching?.

I could post 'jam or marmite on my toast?' and someone would find something hateful to post

Hello?? Yes, I also understand how a car works, and how mechanical failures don't just occur because of a heavy weight and then magically disappear again.

Anyway, it seems that you are determined to stick to your impossible version of events rather than just say that you made a mistake, you shouldn't have been put in the position in the first place, you did what you needed to do to recover the situation, but unfortunately an indirect consequence of that was Mil's injury.

Blimey, OP, you're the one taking personal swipes at Smiftt!

I'm an extremely healthy 55kg at 5'3". No gears axe to grind. I just think you're sorely lacking in knowledge and common sense. And as such, I imagine this will wrankle for another 5 years!

Good grief, my events weren't impossible'

• drove up hill in 2nd gear

-car started to slow so changed to first 1st

-car started rolling back so I applied brakes

-brakes slowed car a fraction but car didn't stop.

-applied brakes a few more times and car continued to just skid backwards down hill.

-tried handbrake, car continued to skid downwards.

-car swerved and ended up on rock.

Smiftt with all due respect my love, please take a long hard look at your life and ask yourself why you had to tell a complete stranger online your weight and height.

I asked this question for light hearted reasons and you've tried your upmost to just vent your frustrations which is quite odd.

A manual car with gears engaged cannot roll backwards!! That's just not how gears or cars work!! It doesn't matter what happened to your brakes, this is impossible.

• drove up hill in 2nd gear

-car started to slow so changed to first 1st but gear didn't quite engage because I'd not driven that car much and hill gear changes are tricky

-car started rolling back so I tried to apply the brakes but caught the clutch pedal by accident

-car slowed a fraction but didn't stop.

-tried to apply brakes a few more times and car continued to just skid backwards down hill.

-tried handbrake, car continued to skid downwards.

-car swerved and ended up on rock.

Fixed that for you.

The problem with the version of events you keep insisting on was that the car then worked fine after the crash, so the gear and braking problems were all resolved. Lots of posters have pointed out that MiL's weight was not enough to make the difference between total brake and gear failure and the car working fine.

Oh well, enjoy grappling with this for another five years

My username is smitff. It stands for Shoot Me In The Fucking Face.

I'll just leave it at that.

I can't drive so I have no real opinion worth giving but your story made me pee in my pants a bit.

That is the stuff I have nightmares about.

OP it sounds like a very scary and horrible experience and I'm sorry you were all involved in it.

But I really think you need to accept that it was an accident, your MILs weight was nothing to do with it. Your version doesn't make sense I'm afraid, it's much more likely what happened was as Olennes details above.

Is it possible it could have been brake fade?

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brake_fade

Brake fade is when brakes are under significant stress over a period of time, such as going down a long steep incline. Not when they are applied to a car that should be going up a steep hill but is suddenly rolling backwards.

And it also doesn't explain why the gears didn't prevent the car rolling backwards either.

It doesn't matter what caused the accident does it? The problem here is that OP who rarely drives, had to drive in difficult circumstances because her DP was having a panic attack and now that same DP is taking the piss out of her. That's not OK.

The driving / holiday conditions were bad enough to make him have a panic attack. He should have sympathy with her and be kind not take the piss out of her.

Bloody hell op, I can't believe anyone has ever driven up a hill like that. Ever. Terrifying.
I would have a word with dh and say you don't want this subject brought up again as it's upsetting to be blamed for a scary event that wasn't your fault. Of course it wasn't your fault that she slammed the door on her own leg!

I can't imagine driving up a hill like that. Just the thought horrifies me.

lots of red herrings.
A modern car should be able to cope with a steep hill.
A car in gear will not roll backwards unless on ice/mud
Whether you were pregnant is irrelevant
Your mother in laws weight is irrelevant- it's less than a car full of adults would weigh so you are being unreasonable and unkind.
If you are not a competent and confident driver you shouldn't attempt driving that puts you and others at risk with panicky car control.
Sounds like you didn't drive well but it's time to move on.

Lucy tbh he just thinks I was an 'incompetent driver' and says "well you should have used the brakes and the hand brake then"
Grrr so frustrating!!
Anybody, even if they've never driven in their life..would use the brakes and handbrake in that situation.
I just don't get why they think I can't have used them and why my MIL doesn't stick up for me and instead just laughs along with them over it.

Id say "you can all be quiet about it now, and thank your lucky stars my driving was so superb that my handbrake turn in such circumstances saved all of your lives"