Please help me settle this debate!?

[anon1987]

5 years ago when on holiday with my family and in laws, my partner got a panic attack so I had to take over driving one of the cars.

I was heavily pregnant and had barely driven since taking my test.
In tow I had my 2 daughters and my MIL.

We were following my FIL with my partner as a passenger in his car.

To get to the car park it involved driving up a very (and I mean very!) steep hill, (mountainous area.)

I approached the hill in 2nd gear and realised that the car wasn't going to make it when I was already half way up.
The car started to roll backwards, so I slammed my foot on the break repetitively but they just wouldn't work!
In the end as a split second last minute decision I pulled the hand break and we slid fast in a curve landing just an inch short of the cliff edge.
If it wasn't for a huge rock stopping the car, then we would have gone over.

My MIL opened the door then slammed it on her leg and then got out of the car and fell over, all whilst I was sat there in shock and trying to comfort my little girls.
My MIL fractured her leg.

I have always been blamed for that fracture despite there being 2 reasons why she would have fractured it (slamming her leg and falling over).

Secondly my MIL weighs over 25 stone, now this isn't meant to offend bigger ladies, but I blame the fact the car wouldn't stop on a combination of MILS weight and seriously steep hill. Yet my dp family say I'm stupid because I obviously didn't bother to break?!?!!
My MIL saw me frantically breaking!!
Yet she says nothing.

Who is to blame here? I need to settle this argument, because my dp mentioned it again this evening and it annoyed the hell out me.

I've had this happen but it was because the hill was slippy (ice/snow/loose gravel) and something to do with abs locking/failing.
Also the reason I didn't make the hill was because I went too slow, if I'd been more confident and accelerated it would have been fine, which may be why you made it the second time.

-applied brakes a few more times and car continued to just skid backwards down hill.

If the car had ABS you need to keep your foot fully depressed in order for them to work. That grinding noise is the ABS doing it's job.

However, in this kind of situation that's the very opposite of what your instinct tell you to do!

I have a landrover and had to break suddenly in different conditions over the years, the ABS cut in and it feels like the brakes aren't working, horrible juddering and grinding noise, so very easy to think wtf and pull your foot up and start again. However it's weighs 2.5t and that's a monster to stop but have faith and it's surprising how quickly they'll bring you to a halt.

Personally, I think you did great.

Tell you what op.
Next time your DP starts saying anything ask him why you were driving.
If he says it's because he couldn't drive because he had had a panic attack say "exactly!" Then leave it at that.
That will piss him of.
When he questions you, you can say hmm convenient panic attack.
He will say "don't you believe me??" And you can with a clear conscience ask "well do you believe me?"

Panic attacks are debilatating. Awful and completely understandable why he couldn't drive.

I suffer from them too so it's pisses me off a bit the OPs DP thinks this situation is now funny and makes someone else feel crap about it

Sorry if pointed out before, but I suspect you did break, the breaks worked, but the car just slid down the hill with locked wheels.
In such situation you might have been better engaging reverse to get some traction, in the same way that ABS breaks work, by not breaking in full.

It is always recommended when parkiny on steep hills that the wheels are blocked by an obstacle and are turned a little sideways.

And in that situation, where the car was gaining speed downhill, the weight won't have helped. :)

The trick is to engage the lowest gear. I really think you should have attempted it with the first gear to be safe, if it was that steep.

Btw, this is possible if the tires weren't new and I suspect the hill could already be slippery from all the cars burning rubber trying to climb it.

I know such a place.

Tyres, even.

I think the car probably wasn't in gear.

Smiftt with all due respect my love, please take a long hard look at your life and ask yourself why you had to tell a complete stranger online your weight and height.

Erm, because you implied she was being correct 'hateful' due to her weight? Which is unbelievably rude!

Secondly, you're an idiot for driving up that hill as a new driver in a small car, pregnant with your kids! If there wasn't another way, don't go

Thirdly, your car obviously wasn't in gear.

HTH.

Surely she slammed the door on her OWN leg.

Secondly, you're an idiot

Nice.

*Secondly, you're an idiot

Nice.*

Just couldn't believe how rude she was to Smifft implying she was overweight. Bit below the belt, IMO.

Thanks Lweji I think you're right, it felt like the tyres were slipping down the road.

I find it hard to believe that there are a few who think it was a case of car being out of gear
Were you there at the time?
Have you even driven up a steep hill before and do you understand the laws of psychics?

Thanks for the person who said I did great, a few seem to think that if they had to handle it, their car would have magically elevated either that or they have Bernard's watch and can shift gear within a millisecond, gain friction and majestically float up a right angle.
Good luck if it ever happens to you 🙄
I just did exactly what I remember being taught to do (baring in mind I'm not an f1 driver) with only a second to put it right to stop us from dying at the bottom of a cliff.

At least you all agree I didn't break the MILS leg.

Lweji is spot on.

I once had to do Conors Pass in the worst fog where I couldn't even see half way down the bonnet and I'm a very experienced driver. I had to have the window down taking deep breaths and pray when we met oncoming cars.

You did do a good job OP

Thank you mycalm I appreciate that 😊
I hate fog too, that must have been very scary.

Just googled Conors pass
Looks a lot like Wales where I had the accident. Gorgeous though!.

Topic = WWYD.
I would tell my husband not to bring it up again b/c I did my best at the time & it's very hurtful to keep raking up the past. You're never gonna agree and you don't need to agree.

Thanks for the person who said I did great, a few seem to think that if they had to handle it, their car would have magically elevated either that or they have Bernard's watch and can shift gear within a millisecond, gain friction and majestically float up a right angle.
Good luck if it ever happens to you 🙄

Haha that was me and you did do great! I drive Land rovers and range rovers, on and off road, I also drove Drops vehicles and class 2 vehicles in the army back in the day. I have a class 2 licence and only didn't take my class one because I needed to get back to my DCs (territorial army so voluntary).

My DH is a class 1 HGV driver with 30 years experience, he rides motorcycles and like me, 4x4s on/off road and he also said you did great in the circumstances.

Have you even driven up a steep hill before and do you understand the laws of psychics?

No, but the laws of physics, yes.

Oh by the way, my land rover has hill descent. This is going downhill. It will effectively take over going down the most steepest hill but you have to let go and trust it. (Like let go of everything except the steering wheel) It will. Same as ABS. It also has ACE (active cornering enhancement). Honestly you'd never think something with the aerodynamics of a fridge would stick like shit to a blanket. Also air suspension which adjusts every second to terrain.

Uphill, it's an auto. So no. 1 on a hill like that, intelligent auto box any other time so let it do its job.

You had none of this, a small car with passengers and you heavily pregnant, a little bit unconfident, except ABS on unknown, rather difficult territory.

Seriously don't take their crap or anyone saying this or that on here.

The car can't roll back whilst in a forward gear. It could fail to grip the road and slide back if there was sufficient force.

True cloud. And she did good if that's the case.

Polly yes, the driving test doesn't cover that! My instinct after 30 years of driving in that situation would be attempt to slide into something solid like a kerb. After very little experience and pregnant? Probably sit and cry as we slid into oblivion!

Believe it or not I live on a hill like this. I can parallel park like a demon.

Can reiterate that always you are entitled to say that you will not be driving this section. The number of bumps and crashes as people attempt our hill is ridiculous. I warn people that low and slow is the only way to do it but many put their foot down.

I know this all after the fact but everyone should know that if they are uncomfortable put the handbrake on and engine of. You might have to sit there for a couple of hours but so what.