Basically I ve had a friend who I considered my best friend since uni, so 14 years now. Once we were very close and would see each other regularly and got on extremely well. We ve had holidays together and when we met our dhs couple holidays. She was my bridesmaid.
However, over the years I ve realised she probably doesn't regard me as her best friend. I wasn't chosen as her bridesmaid (she got married before me) or dcs godparents. I felt sad about this but excepted she had childhood friends she felt closer too.
However, since having dcs the length of time between meet ups began to get longer and longer. It felt like I was making all the effort but when we did see each other we got on very well and it was like we hadn't been apart. We would text every so often but phone calls to her were left unanswered. I told myself this means we are good friends as those are the kind of best friends. However, over the last couple of years the gap has widened even more. There is absolutely no effort her side despite only living 45 mins away. Texts to her were answered with one word answers and she couldn't come to ds birthday party and no mention of a meet up instead. I made the effort to travel 45 mins there and back to her ds party but not much of a welcome or a thank you message or card for coming. No mention of a meet up when chatting and a casual bye when I left.
So I decided the friendship had probably fizzled out and decided I wasn't prepared for it to be so one sided. 7 months has passed with no contact whatsoever.
I was upset by this as she's my last long standing friend and it took a while to get my feelings sorted in my head, accept the situation and move on. I don't have many friends so it was a big loss.
So, today I get a text inviting us to an important event for her dd. It's obviously a generic text to a few people but no hi, been a long time, how are you? But it does say they are only inviting a few people to this event and only people who they and dd are closest to. It says they really would love us to come and it would mean a lot to them.
I am really confused and don't know if we should go or not. How can she consider us close to her when we have no contact for 6 months at a time? We have no idea what's going on in each other's lives. I ve only met her dd once since birth and she's only met my dd once in two years! I ve just gotten my head around letting this friendship go, which took awhile, and now this.
Dh thinks we should go as she obviously values the friendship afterall, but it doesn't feel like it. I know she's busy working full time as a teacher with two dcs but still how long does a quick text/call take? She has school holidays free but we never meet up anymore. He feels it's just a period where life's got in the way and then once dcs get bigger I will probably see her more. He thinks my expectations are too high. I get what he's saying and perhaps he's right with how it might be in the future but I don't feel valued in the friendship we have anymore and it makes me feel upset so I have distanced myself from it. I don't want to open these feelings up again.
Would you accept the invite? I guess if I said no it really would be shutting the door on the friendship but I don't see the point of yearly invites to dcs parties when dcs barely know each other.