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Original poster

Future MIL has bought a white outfit for my wedding

380 replies

natalie204 · 30/08/2016 09:49

Mil showed me a photo of her dress and jacket she has bought for our wedding it's beautiful floor length white evening dress and white jacket. But i was brought up to never wear just white/cream to a wedding as a guest. I mentioned that it's not good etiquette to wear all white to a wedding. She was shocked and had never heard this before, my comment has now made things frosty.
I know my family will mention to her on the day how it's not appropriate to be wearing white.
Am i correct or is it just a regional thing (OH and his family are from a different part of the country)

OP posts:
MissingPanda · 31/08/2016 23:07

I can't believe that anyone thinks it's acceptable to wear an actual wedding dress to someone else's wedding.

MissingPanda · 31/08/2016 23:07

I can't believe that anyone thinks it's acceptable to wear an actual wedding dress to someone else's wedding.

MissingPanda · 31/08/2016 23:07

I can't believe that anyone thinks it's acceptable to wear an actual wedding dress to someone else's wedding.

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MissingPanda · 31/08/2016 23:07

I can't believe that anyone thinks it's acceptable to wear an actual wedding dress to someone else's wedding.

pollymere · 31/08/2016 23:08

My MIL wore the same colour as my Mum, no hat, and put my SIL in a long white dress. My FIL was the only man in the whole Wedding Party not wearing morning dress either. I wore ivory so my poor SIL just looked odd and people just wondered why she was in white. Guests were also surprised/sorry for my MIL for wearing the same colour as my Mum. White/Cream etc should only be for the bride. She could get it dyed maybe. Only she will look foolish though, if she goes through with it. You'll look radiant and fabulous.

Lweji · 31/08/2016 23:15

You can always get her dress coloured on the photos. :)

NuttyAndProud · 31/08/2016 23:22

I agree with everyone who has said you UNBU. To wear a full length white dress to a wedding when you're not the bride is slightly ridiculous.

I hadn't heard about the 'rule' either, until one of DH's cousins wore white to our wedding. His family were not impressed and several made it known that they thought she was out of order. I wasn't fussed - I was too happy about marrying DH and having a great day - and I told her I thought she looked lovely (she did).
But, if she was trying to steal the limelight then it backfired, just as it will for your MIL.

All the best for your big day on Friday, It's too important a day to let anything like this spoil it. Those who truly love you will celebrate with you, so if MIL (or anyone else) feels otherwise than that's their problem.

Whathaveilost · 31/08/2016 23:26

Oh well At least this thread has made it to the newspaper everyone slags off!,

Marcipex · 31/08/2016 23:31

If it's in the daily fail, maybe milzilla will get the message.

tiddlyipom · 31/08/2016 23:47

I'm astonished at the amount of posters who think it is OK to wear a wedding dress to a wedding where you are not the bride!
I would never wear all white as a guest, certainly wouldn't buy my outfit from the wedding dress section.
My MIL turned up to my wedding in the exact same colour as my bridesmaids, she had a swatch of the fabric from their dresses and went out and got one to match.
Pissed me off mightily.
She is an attention seeker though.And after reading this thread, I think I got off lightly.

Mojito6 · 01/09/2016 03:33

Definitely not OK!

Anmi0802 · 01/09/2016 09:14

I don't see any problem with this, as she will never look like you, I'm sure the bride's dress is always the best one. It's a wedding and you are suppose to be very happy and not really care for what other people is dressing. just leave her, you've told her already what you think so I would ask your family not to spoilt your wedding.
A friend of mine married last year, I was her maid of honour, but after the wedding we stopped talking as she was such a difficult person to deal with, she even chose her mother in law dress cos she said she didn't have a good taste and she didn't want anyone wearing bad dresses on her wedding. She lost a few friends for that

DailyMailPenisPieces · 01/09/2016 09:19

Bloody Daily Mail poaching this. It's not exactly the most exciting thread, they must be pretty desperate.

notapizzaeater · 01/09/2016 09:27

Oh no, I hope the mil - bride dint see it on the daily mail - could be a frosty relationship from now on !

user7755 · 01/09/2016 09:33

I can't believe the daily heil didn't quote me. My comment was fucking hilarious Grin

Whythenegativity · 01/09/2016 09:48

Look, it has always been a well known piece of etiquette that no-one (especially not those in the immediate wedding party and therefore in group photos) should wear white/cream or anything to upstage the bride. The problem nowadays is no gives a s**t about what is the right thing to do as they are only concerned with themselves being the most important no matter what the occasion. OP - if your MIL hasn't taken the hint about her choice of outfit then she will only have herself to blame if any comments are made, although I'm sure your family won't be rude about it.

Whythenegativity · 01/09/2016 09:51

My MIL dressed in the same colour as the bridesmaids as well - god I was hacked off about it.

isthatmorelego · 01/09/2016 09:54

I wore red told everyone no red in any shade MIL bought red back it went was very firm about it .

LancelotLink · 01/09/2016 09:55

I am amazed by the number of people on this thread that think it is acceptable to wear an ivory gown to a wedding when you are NOT the bride.

NemosMum21 · 01/09/2016 12:40

She's an attention-seeker, that's for sure, but don't let it get to you, enjoy your day! You are Snow White and she will be muttering into her mirror. P.S. I wouldn't encourage the family to make any comments, it will only cause problems.

Lweji · 01/09/2016 12:40

My mum is still upset that my brother's MIL chose a dress in the same colour as hers. Both were one of those in between colours, green-blue, and the MIL said it was blue or something.

My sister and I wore nude dresses and I only noticed the similar colour the other day (years after the even). That's how much we care for that stuff.

But nobody I know would wear white or cream. Ever.

Koan · 01/09/2016 13:11

Why? How many women in this thread have calculatedly done this to another woman on their wedding day? And that's just a sample of our population. Obs some here really didn't do it on purpose, but they are the minority.

Along the way I laughed quite a lot and was Shock at some posts and angry on behalf of bride. But really, quite saddening tbh

RaqsMax · 01/09/2016 14:11

NEVER wear white to a wedding. Very bad form, as it is considered to be an attempt to upstage the bride. Similarly, anyone who wears any outfit that deliberately screams 'look at me!' (Think Raquel Welch at her son's wedding dressed in a low-cut bodycon dress with emormous picture hat. Bride didn't get a look-in.)

DamnGood314 · 01/09/2016 14:26

Id let her make a show of herself!

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus · 01/09/2016 14:31

Koan: there is a world of difference between just wearing white or cream to a wedding and actually choosing a wedding dress.

The first is something people might do without knowing it's not really the done thing; the second is clearly not OK. You can't accidentally find yourself trying on dresses in the bridal section of monsoon.

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