Future MIL has bought a white outfit for my wedding

[natalie204]

Mil showed me a photo of her dress and jacket she has bought for our wedding it's beautiful floor length white evening dress and white jacket. But i was brought up to never wear just white/cream to a wedding as a guest. I mentioned that it's not good etiquette to wear all white to a wedding. She was shocked and had never heard this before, my comment has now made things frosty.
I know my family will mention to her on the day how it's not appropriate to be wearing white.
Am i correct or is it just a regional thing (OH and his family are from a different part of the country)

The women in my family only wear the following colours to weddings.

Lilac
Yellow
Orange
Mauve
Pale lime green

Frankly, white and ivory would be a blessed release.

Defintely not 'done' in the circles I move in .Indeed one DD asked me anxiously recently if she could wear a very pretty white but patterned with splashes of colour dress to a friend's wedding. Its obviously not just a generational thing .

I do wish threads on this forum weren't always so damning. It makes me sad that people get soooooo opinionated rather than gently, or diplomatically expressing themselves. I don't see the suggestion of bridezilla or rudeness as reasonable about you OP. I would have been more than peeved if my MIL had done the same, and I certainly didn't qualify as a bridezilla. It is bad etiquette, and if your family end up mentioning the same to her on the day, she kind of had it coming. You have given her fair warning that she's 'innocently' made a faux pas, if she goes ahead on the day, she must have pretty thick skin. I'm with an earlier poster re the likelihood of your MIL having already decided to return the outfit for something more appropriate and less attention-grabbing. Many congratulations on your impending nuptials. I hope you'll both be very happy together.

I'm sure she meant no offence and just chose what suited her. Not everybody knows these 'customs' or observes them. ( though wearing a full length white dress might look a tad odd!)
It would be unnecessary for your family to say something on the day to her - that would be deliberately hurtful - and what would be gained from it?

I'm sure she meant no offence and just chose what suited her.

And she just happened to suit a wedding dress!

My daughter has just got married. I wore a cream silk jacket over a white summer dress with a blue flower on the front. Umremarkable. My friend wore a white fifties type dress to her daughter's wedding. Again unremarkable. We are Londoners if that makes a difference. At my own wedding a guest wore her own wedding dress (not white but beautiful) We thought she looked pretty. Don't make so much of your mil's choices is my advice.

It's on the Daily Fail

FFS, well let's not cancel the cheque they send us all for our journalistic skillz.

Squoosh - but it's not a wedding dress.
The custom has been 'the bride wears white' but so many don't anymore - customs come and go.
Unless she is a nut ( and surely that would have come to light before) she has just 'put her foot in it'. Either way - nothing to spoil the wedding over - surely?

My friend has just told me she went to a Black and White wedding last year, and said it was the easiest colours to find outfits in - and importantly - made it easier to wear them again. No - the women did not all look like brides!

The dress is from Monsoon's bridal range!

A white dress is no big deal, but deliberately buying an actual wedding dress. That's so wackadoodle. But kind of amusing really.

I woudl agree it is not really the done thing to wear white to a wedding, but it is equally not the done thing for your family to point it out to her at the wedding! 😮😮.

Since this is hopefully the beginning of a beautiful new DIL/MIL relationship I would say that I think the dress looks gorgeous and she will look lovely in it. And I would leave it precisely there and move on to things you can have an affect over without upsetting anyone.

A white or cream dress that could in no way be mistaken for a bridal dress - fine.

A white or cream full-length dress bought from a bridal collection? Dodgy territory there, I think.

Mind you, I inadvertently turned up in a dress that was very very similar to the bridesmaid dresses - they had plain knee length lemon dresses, mine was the same except slightly shorter. I was at the back in all the photos. The bride saw the funny side though but I did feel a bit awkward.

The OP posted yesterday morning and has not been back.

She did say she wouldn't be back until after the wedding.

There is always one!

I went to a wedding where the mother and Father walked the bride down the isle (seperated) The mother had a bloody gown with train on it. Even the bride didn't have a train!

It was a shame actually as more people were commenting on that thsn looking at the bride!

I think it's fine.

Infact, it would be impolite to mention it in my view. Poor lady.

AllPizzas, the OP has posted on the thread saying she wouldn't have time between now and her wedding day to come back to the thread.

I wish people would RTFT properly.

And why do people think its okay to wear a fucking wedding dress to a wedding?

My SIL showed in a white dress to my wedding, I didn't even notice until people started pointing out how "disgraceful" it was from her when looking at the photos. I don't know if anyone said anything to her, or they just mentioned to me as they know how mean she was towards me.

Anyhow, 2 months later someone else in the family married, since nobody seemed particularly bothered about wedding etiquette and we were skint after our wedding- we were moving countries on that weekendI went to the wedding with a 2 piece trouser set in cream. The bride made a big fuss about how happy she was to see me, just before my SIL pointed out that I shouldn't wear cream in Autumn and the friends of the bride made sure I knew how bloody inalropriate my outfit was. It certainly ruined the night for me.

So the moral of the story is, if you had not made her uncomfortable about it, somebody else would have made sure she was and at the time of the wedding. So at least she would be ok now if she doesn't wear white BUT I think you need to apologise to her, otherwise she will never forget your comment.

I simply refuse to believe that so many people haven't heard of the never wear white to a wedding thing. BS.

All of you saying it's fine. Of course you'd have all been happy with someone else rocking up at your wedding in a fucking wedding dress.

People saying it would be rude to tell MIL on the day?! It's rude, not to mention totally freakish, to wear a wedding dress to your sons bloody wedding. Jesus wept.

Some strange responses, why would the bride need to apologise to her future MIl who intends to wear an actual wedding dress to her son's wedding? The bride is doing her a favour by pointing her faux pas out & preventing her from looking like a complete fool.

Ettja
Of course it's fine unless the world revolves and you and your wedding!
One of my best friends asked me on my wedding day whether it was ok to wear cream. Of course it was. Its was a wedding not the queens bloody coronation day!
Honestly.

Meandmy. I don't see the issue with a cream trouser number. It's so clearly not a wedding dress. I probably wouldn't wear one for an older bride or a registry office in case.

cozy she is wearing a fucking wedding dress to a wedding that is not hers ffs. i think some posters are deliberately awkward.

Not the done thing for a guest to wear all white (especially floor length) to a wedding. Has she lived a sheltered life perhaps?

ettaj
She said it was a 'floor length evening dress' not a wedding dress.
Don't get your knickers in a twist 😊