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Original poster

Future MIL has bought a white outfit for my wedding

380 replies

natalie204 · 30/08/2016 09:49

Mil showed me a photo of her dress and jacket she has bought for our wedding it's beautiful floor length white evening dress and white jacket. But i was brought up to never wear just white/cream to a wedding as a guest. I mentioned that it's not good etiquette to wear all white to a wedding. She was shocked and had never heard this before, my comment has now made things frosty.
I know my family will mention to her on the day how it's not appropriate to be wearing white.
Am i correct or is it just a regional thing (OH and his family are from a different part of the country)

OP posts:
nicolachristine · 31/08/2016 19:52

You are correct, it is not polite. However, pointing this out to someone and making them feel uncomfortable is just as gauche.

Mrsglitterfairy · 31/08/2016 19:55

No way! Shock I would be fuming... I recently got married and if someone had worn white (no matter who) I would have freaked out! Maybe that's a bit excessive of me but it's just not the done thing to wear to someone else's wedding..

EttaJ · 31/08/2016 20:05

cosy if you bother to read further you'll see her MIL bought a wedding dress from Monsoon. Not wearing any 😊

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AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 31/08/2016 20:11

AllPizzas, the OP has posted on the thread saying she wouldn't have time between now and her wedding day to come back to the thread.

I wish people would RTFT properly

I did scan back to see if I had missed her replies, I see now that she NCed so her posts were not highlighted.

123rd · 31/08/2016 20:20

My mil done something similar. But she had already worn the White dress to her own daughters wedding!! Then wears the same one to mine. I think it's out of order

Cozytoesandtoast00 · 31/08/2016 20:31

Ettaj
I stand corrected! 😋

Tapandgo · 31/08/2016 20:33

I'd love to know the age and situation of the MIL. Most people go with someone for such an important choice of outfit. Maybe she hasn't got anybody to advise, or doesn't get to many weddings.

I'm trying to imagine her going into a shop - say Monsoon - and seeing wedding outfit displays - then choosing one from there in all innocence ( or stupidity?). Either way, I'm sure the shop assistant might have said something/ advised when trying on such an elaborate creation.

Just trying to imagine how this situation could have arisen.

But in the end - nothing stopping people getting on to enjoy the day regardless - something to talk about in years to come.

Laineymc7 · 31/08/2016 20:35

This thread is now on the daily mail

Mrsglitterfairy · 31/08/2016 20:38

To be fair, at least your mil wants to make an effort, mine looked like she was off on a shopping trip with her friends. Cobbled an outfit together 3 days before the wedding.. Not like we hadn't given her almost 2 years notice to plan her outfit 🤔

Lweji · 31/08/2016 20:39

Mrsglitterfairy

Maybe she also got a white outfit and finally a friend told her SWBU. Grin

Tapandgo · 31/08/2016 20:42

Yes - maybe she bought an expensive long gown until somebody shrieked!

marriednotdead · 31/08/2016 21:00

Glad you called out your MIL on this, she's bang out of order. Also wondering which of the dresses it is- reckon it's the long sleeved one myself.

This thread is amusing me because two people wore white to my wedding to my exh over a decade ago. In their only defence, neither was born in the UK.
One was an elderly aunt of his, in a flamboyant two piece suit with a matching hat. Let that one go. (She also turned up with an extra guest in the form of uncle that we'd never met, leaving us mouthing 'who's he?' to one another after the ceremony and then calling ahead from the car to the reception to squeeze a place for him beside her. Maybe that's why- we were distracted!)

The other was a colleague/friend who turned up in a floor length cream column dress with lacy yoke/shoulders. To make it worse, she is a similar build and colouring to me- people often asked if we were related or got us mixed up. Many shocked comments were made to me on the day and over the years since- our other colleagues gave her grief for ages. She really didn't realise what a no no it was. I was a bit bemused but luckily not the type to get that stressed about it.

She's still embarrassed now though and when I had a party for a big birthday, she checked what colour I'd be wearing beforehand and bought a different dress when she realised it would be the same.

pontynan · 31/08/2016 21:46

I've been around a lot longer than most people on MN and truthfully I'd never heard this. Does not seem to be an issue in our part of the country. However, 2 years ago DS got married and as we were ready to leave the house, my niece appeared in lovely white 50's white dress. Everyone complimented her on how great she looked except other DS's girlfriend told her it was wrong to wear white at a wedding. We were all embarrassed and niece was devastated as she didn't know the 'rule' either. No time to find something else so she braved it out feeling terrible. Day was saved by wonderful new DiL going up to her after the ceremony and telling her how gorgeous she looked. Bride didn't care at all about the blunder - she was just so happy and wanted everyone else to feel happy too. Learn from this - it's going to be the best day of your life, you can afford to be generous and your new MiL will love you for ever if you apologise - just say some of your other relatives were superstitious and it rubbed off on you but you think her outfit is lovely.

Lordamighty · 31/08/2016 21:51

Which part of, the MIL has bought a full length white dress from the Monsoon Bridal Collection,are people not getting. Not just wearing white but an actual wedding dress.

fabulous01 · 31/08/2016 21:53

Good luck with that mother in law! I have a good therapist as mine means regular therapy .....

Mrsglitterfairy · 31/08/2016 22:01

You could be right Lweji... I think it was prob more that she couldn't be arsed though 😂😂

QueenArya · 31/08/2016 22:07

Can't believe this thread has been poached for the daily mail!

gettingtherequickly · 31/08/2016 22:23

Another slow news day for the DM.

I'd be ashamed if my job were to poach story's from MN. But some people have no shame. (And the spelling and grammar are unspeakably poor).

RockyBird · 31/08/2016 22:25

I'm sure DM pay MN for this guff. More fool them.

TippyT · 31/08/2016 22:27

My now EXMIL, wore a lovely white two peice suit dress affair to my wedding. It was gorgeous had sequins and sparkly bit around the neckline and hem... With cut out patterns it looked like, something you would wear to a second wedding ( your own ) .....

birdieeeeeeeee · 31/08/2016 22:51

Are you Jennifer Lopez? Watch out for nuts in the gravy Hmm

user1464715887 · 31/08/2016 22:59

Suppose it depends on BMs colour as some brides choose white/cream for bridesmaids, my MIL wore a colour that went (same colour but darker) with the BMs at my wedding and it looked lovely in the photos! Suppose the only problem will be the photos as if you're the only two in white in photos it will look odd & may mean it will irritate you to look at the photos where she is in.

MissingPanda · 31/08/2016 23:07

I can't believe that anyone thinks it's acceptable to wear an actual wedding dress to someone else's wedding.

MissingPanda · 31/08/2016 23:07

I can't believe that anyone thinks it's acceptable to wear an actual wedding dress to someone else's wedding.

MissingPanda · 31/08/2016 23:07

I can't believe that anyone thinks it's acceptable to wear an actual wedding dress to someone else's wedding.

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