Slippery slope or moistened chute: how low can Tayto go?!

[KimmySchmidtsSmile]

Thread 3. You guys are awesome!

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2849348/Tweet-selfie-Love-Hearts-updated-social-media-generation.html

I do like Cwtch me, I must say. It reminds me of the Rich Hall Tom Cruise No vowels sketch (Lead up, all Tom Cruise movies revolve around him having some sort of crisis of confidence...Punchline ^ a crisis of consonants leads to him winning Welsh scrabble comp.

Current messages include:

All yours All fake
Be mine Be a squad member
Call me Karlie
Cheeky boy Thirsty boy or Loki boy
Date me Date my mum
Dream on Dream on Lulu
Email me Who's Tom? Oh, Tim!
Great guy Bastard Calvin
Hot lips Hot pins
Kiss me Pap me
My boy my beard
New love New PR
Text me Instagram me
U rock My rocks outside my house
You're mine you're my bitch

New range Swifthearts are in italics

Dignity

Life got cold for Tom Hiddleston yesterday after a long hot summer riding the PR Love Machine with his now ex girlfriend Taylor
" untouchable " Swift. The resulting negative PR was put down to no good advice being heeded by Hiddleston, who was told by his publicist (with whom he has a whole lotta history ) to jump but instead he let Taylor call the shots. Add to that, a disastrous photoshoot ( Sexy no no no ) and a cringeworthy T shirt ( something kinda ewww ) and the writing was on the wall for The show mance of 2016. Rumour has it that Tom was fed up of being told to Walk this way while being forced to stage whisper I think we're alone now in front of 500 paps. His publicist, the loving kind Luke said to him allegedly pre fauxmance I'll stand by you but wake me up when it's all over. All over it was in London yesterday with the sound of the underground echoing the trainwreck of the past six weeks. Rome, because supposedly Taylor couldn't speak French was a nightmare trip and the promise of a Bond role went with it.

Swift's assurances that Loki fans would still find Tom beautiful because you love me proved to be false when greying shoes, quilted jackets and that vest made him into a laughing stock. Taylor is now hoping for something new to come out of this omnishambles.

Night! x

I thought that was a copy and paste there for a minute, that's more coherent than anything I've ever read of SBOS.

My rather boring news is that apparently Tim's mother made them sleep in separate beds for their visit.

Fantastic, kimmy. I never knew girls aloud had so many songs. Incidentally for anyone with a new found love of tumblr tinhatting Chim (Cheryl and Kim) is the gift that keeps on giving: through several marriages and babies tumblr has kept the shipping flame alive.

Meanwhile on the SBoS the DM reports that 'Tim likes to keep his activewear simple' as he has been papped in the exact same gym kit. Am also off to run in yesterday's kit but instead of worrying about being stinky I will be channeling Tim.

I hope TayTay slept in Tim's old childhood bedroom at his mums. I love the image of her feet sticking out the end of the child sized bed, with a Winnie the Pooh bed side lamp and a pair of his grey slippers on the floor. I wonder if it was creaky floorboards across the landing at midnight ?

You were up late Donatella ? Did your timer go off or couldn't you sleep, mind full of Phd thoughts ?

Waverly! Excellent gossip! Sit down and make yourself comfy.
Just so you all know, I am willing to take one for the team and take my ungroped left boob to the wedding with CH.

At least we know the spare tennis balls from Wimbledom didn't go to waste.

Excellent work Kimmy!

Miaow Coco They are indeed perfectly spherical.

Re the separate bedrooms, I can just see Diana going "I'm afraid I've put you in separate bedrooms as Tom's old room is a single. Don't let me hear you going along the corridor, wink wink!"
Tay thinks "oh she's so sweet, but he hasn't signed the contract yet"
Tim thinks "oh Christ, thank god. I need some time ALONE to think about Lulu

The SBoS has regular typos so I'm hoping for a Tim instead of Tom. The SBoS need TayTay out and about. The highlight of the Tim out for a jog photos was the dadjoke caption for the photo as he passed the ladies loos "Tom looked at little flushed" badoom-tish.

You're a selfless person Coco. I think Donatella may be happy to escort you to make sure you are on time to meet CH

What can I say? Im a stand up type of gal 😇
Tim never seems to do any exercise apart from strolling to the coffee shop.

Morning lovelies.
ship Noone knew GA had so many songs except maybe my husband who has a Nadine fixation
I missed out Biology and Miss you bow wow

blindgossip.com/?p=79648

I wonder who this could be about

I don't why it's even a blind it's so obviously BC & his companion

Coco so are we both donating a boob? I've just spotted you on the traybake thread we could fly them both over at the same time!

kimmy I use a pomodoro app on my phone I also have one on my laptop. Did you have an actual timer?

Awesome that is true love right there on Buzzfeed Kimmy. I had a school friend who was New Kids on the Block ultra fan and she really believed Joey McIntrye waved just at her at a concert. Dedicated love.

TheAntiBoop Do you think Blind Gossip took the photos of Bradley & Irina and made up the story to fit? The PR are putting her tears down to a pollen allergy. I think she got frightened by Suki's glasses.

I think they probably did see the Wimbledon pics and they made it up ( not unheard of). I think its fairly obvious it's not a genuine relationship though. She was Cristiano Ronaldo's girlfriend for 5 years, despite them having neither a common language, or living in the same country although maybe that's a good way of keeping celeb relationships going!!

can you imagine the mama ToTo conversation?
MTT"Darling, I don't want any hanky panky under my roof. You're in separate rooms"
TT "But Muuuuum! Im 35!"
TS "Of course it's separate rooms. I am a wholesome country girl, after all"
TT "OK then"

Do you think Blind Gossip took the photos of Bradley & Irina and made up the story to fit?

Do we have to ask?

If nothing else I'm quite suspicious that they get exactly 3 pieces of scandalous celebrity gossip everyday!!

Tomhiddlestones dignity I didnt read your much better post before I did mine, but if he hasn't signed the contract yet, he can still escape! Maybe there's a 14 day cooling off period?

That's what I mean, it's more idle speculation than blind gossip. I would love to see one of these alleged contracts. Not for a specific pairing, just the penalties for blowing it open.
I'm amazed the websites manage to run so openly, I'm half-expecting some Tidal type union of major slebs getting them shut down.

Speaking of which, did TayTay go in on the Jay-Z Tidal venture? I think I remember seeing CH at that awful launch promo they did. When I first saw it is thought it was a Sleb charity appeal for a worldwide disaster fund.

No TayTay is not in the Tidal gang. She took her music off Spotify because she doesn't agree with their payment terms and she wrote an open letter to Apple calling them out about not paying artists during the three month free trial when they first launched the service, they backed down and agreed to start paying the artists.

It's quite a good example of someone using their power for good, because whilst their are quite a few rich musicians, there are many that struggle to make a living. The major record labels have been notoriously bad at dealing with he changes around how people access music and how to develop a successful finance model around it.

life is just awful at the moment. I'm too busy to keep up with the thread.

JantheJam oh no hope things improve for you soon.

I definitely wander into tin-hat tumblr territory over Apple and TayTay. I found it all a bit too neat - Bad Apple, Good TayTay, Apple turns into Humble Pie the People forgive them and all join arms and sing into the sunset.

I do agree the music bosses largely take the piss, and a lot of the more financial secure musos go outside of the music to make their real dosh, which I don't blame them for at all.

JantheJam hope things improve soon. can you ditch Real Life? I have, I handed my notice in last week. It feels good.
I really ought to be waking the small snoozing child next to me to go and do the last nursery run as they finish for the summer holidays. I suppose the school run after that is necessary to.