Slippery slope or moistened chute: how low can Tayto go?!

[KimmySchmidtsSmile]

Thread 3. You guys are awesome!

Also in the SBoS Brooklyn Beckham shooting the Burberry ads, they should have asked my mum.
She chops the top of heads off in photos too.
She would have be much cheaper than BB.

BB is just so ordinary looking. I saw him out with some college mates and he was the least attractive teen of the lot. Didn't stop the girls squealing over him of course

Sorry about mentioning the doughnuts again APlaceOn. These were several small ones in a box. I road tested a couple as I was cooking dinner (they passed ) but then my son sneaked them upstairs ! One left - one bloody doughnut !! Admittedly these aren't as good as the chocolate ones, they were definitely laced with crack they were so addictive !

I think I'm developing some weird kind of body dysmorphia. The more I look at somebody I only vaguely know on the SBoS, wearing a bikini or posting a selfie of their ab crack, the more I eat. Initially I think, come on Dusters, sort yourself out, summer's nearly here. But by the time I reach the kitchen I'm like meh, where did the kid's hide their sweets ?

I don't want TayTo to be a showmance now. It wouldn't really change my view of TayTay, but what would become of poor Tim ? Cumberbitch and RedLipsMayne will try and steal his dinner money in the playground, and Graham Norton will eat him alive next time he's on. But it still seems so unlikely. Aaaaahhhhh................

What's next for BB a week's trial at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant? Will VB submit to reuniting with the Spice Girls to get him in aFormula 1 via Geri? Capital radio with Emma B? Ultimately I think he will become a Professional Gym Attender.

Didn't know Lawrence Fox was being nasty about our Tim. I'll have to stalk him on Twitter and pretend me and Billie are out on the lash, just to worry him about what photos may appear the next day on the SBoS.

Wasn't it Chris Evans who was papped pushing Billie in a supermarket trolley full of booze or something ? I liked them as a couple.

I think TayTay will have had Lulu kidnapped. He's too small fry now for TayTo world, but he knows too much and might spoil her plans. I hope he flies to Oz and makes a drunken entrance on to the set of Thor, declaring his Loki love and pushing TayTay in to a pot plant as he dashes past.

Okay, I have been studiously ignoring this thread (whilst refreshing avidly). I thought i had nothing to add.

Until I spoke to my friend today and mentioned, in passing (all casual-like, as you do) about the TayTo nonsense (obvs not nonsense, but I was trying to maintain my cool).

Anyway, she happened to mention her friend from Dumfries who was about to get married. The best man just so happened to be non other than Adam/Calvin (ex-Mr Swift).

I'd not clocked this, but apparently Calvin had upped the best man game for every one by doing the stag do at T in The Park and getting the whole gang backstage passes, and even recreating the Grooms pub in the backstage area.

I am eagerly awaiting the juicy details (that will not be forthcoming without surrendering my dignity). Apparently the Groom is hoping that Adam will bring a hot date to the wedding, but who would this be?

I've never been this close to celeb gossip. I think that I might implode!

I think old Cumbers and RedLips have already stolen his dinner money Oscar noms in the playground. That's why he's gone rogue.

You HAVE to go to the wedding, Owl. Even if it means seducing your friend and being her +1. Just take your cues from TayTo, Masters of Romance, and she won't be able to resist you.

Talk of VB/Geri above... Do you know what the 3 Spiceys are calling themselves when they reform? GEM.
Literally, truly outrageous.

Look at this pic. To is farking loving it.
And in another from the series, Tay o's making burly bodyguard carry her cardie.

There is no way that she won't come out top in this. She is a machievellian genius.

Lawrence Fox is getting on my tits. Whining on about his divorce all over the SboS and now being mean about poor Tim. He looks a bit like Tim. Maybe he wishes he was in a showmance with an American pop star instead of having to look after his own children because their mother still has a job

I would love to go Zebra, but the lack of invite for me and my friend might be an issue. She is just a friend of an invitee. Still, it might mean access to gossip after the fact?

People like BB must know they only get the job because of who their dad is. Must make for a strange dynamic when they're working. You can imagine the person directing the shoot going "God, these shots are crap, but now I've got David on speed dial and Vic's doing our next season. Just nip out back and photoshop them."

As you say, don't want to be mean but he's no oil painting, but that won't stop him having his own squad and gorgeous girls running after him. As you say Frayed, cue 10 years worth of pictures of him leaving the gym/night club/party/yacht. Still, it's a dilemma most people would happily grapple with.

LadyCassandra - are you up yet ? If you're not in the middle of moving are there any more doll poses on the Instagram that you're following ?

Waverley you can get tiny voice recorders off eBay, cheap as chips just sayin'

dusters Scathing is probably a bit strong to be fair, and a bit jealous is probably closer to the truth. Just unusual for an Actor to name another Actor when not being fawning and in awe.

WaverlyOwl how lovely he is taking his Best Man duties so seriously. It might be too much for Donatella . There's no shortage of dates for CH he can take his pick I'm sure.

Do stick around genuine TayTo Sleb gossip or not, we're quite happy with working theories and derailments.

Oh, your friend is not actually invited herself?
Dump her.
Make new friends.
Ones who have invites.
It's really what you should do. For the thread.

Lawrence fox was on that bear grylls show and came across as a complete tit in the one episode I watched. I wondered if he was on the verge of a breakdown tbh

Most celebs are related to celebs - you just hope they show some actual grit and talent rather than just joining the modelling scene

Yeah Waverley- you need to totally Wendy her. I bet taytay could give you tips on inveigling yourself

Yeah he was a bit angry, wasn't he. Old foxy I mean.

I think that BB looks like DB. Who wasn't his beautiful self as a teen/young 20 ' s but improved vastly with a teeny bit of age.

Owl we are not worthy How fab that your friend will be able to report back about the wedding. Hmm, I wonder who Calvin will take with him.
dusters I relate to searching for the DC's sweets. I have just eaten a mini packet of love hearts. Even DS was looking at me like If I wasn't doing BSD I would currently be raiding the house for chocolate.

I would quite like a burly bodyguard to carry my cardie, like Taylor's! They could also carry my work bag, DCs' schoolbags, lunchboxes and many other things.

I'd dump her in a heartbeat (not really, oldest friend, kinda like her like a sister) if it would help, but alas, she is my conduit so it would be foolish. I will keep my ear to the ground and my TayTo senses tingling in case there is gossip to be had.

Waverley (rolls out red carpet, flies in doughnuts, arranges foot massage)

I'm with Zebra on this one. Needs must. Throw caution to the wind. Ditch dignity (and friends) and break in if that's the only way. Could you get yourself on to the waiting staff ? Valet parking ? Jump out of the cake ?

We are within spitting distance of the ex Mr Swift. Even 4th hand gossip will be treated like gold dust.

Wowsers the lulu / tim shippers are well into tinhat territory. The deleted IG rests on a blurry shot of a bracelet. Love it. www.tumblr.com/search/*luke%20windsor

Maybe CH could take Coco's Dave Grohl groped right boob with him as his date?

The name Selena was mentioned but now, under pressure, I'm wondering if it was idle gossip, or real gossip. Help. I'm suddenly feeling real pressure and my memory sucks!