Follow on from best joke - best science/maths jokes?

[TwosaCrowd]

I love science jokes, I'll get the ball rolling…

What is a physicist's favourite food? Fission chips.

You can't trust atoms.

They make up everything.

What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt

Why did the schoolboy eat his maths homework? Because he thought it was a piece of cake

Have you heard any good jokes about sodium lately?

Na!

There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't

Two lithium atoms walking down the street. One says "oh I think I just lost an electron". The other "are you sure?"
"Oh yes, I'm positive!".

Ba-dum-ccchhhh

Brilliant!

Brilliant snuggle

sorry, snoggle

Why didn't Newton discover group theory?
Because he wasn't Abel

What's purple and commutes?
An abelian grape

Please keep these coming. I have no idea what you're on about but I am skyping them to dc...

Why is Xmas the same as Halloween? Dec 25=Oct 31

Heisenberg and Schrödinger get pulled over for speeding.
The cop asks Heisenberg "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg replies, "No, but we know exactly where we are!"
The officer looks at him confused and says "you were going 108 miles per hour!"
Heisenberg throws his arms up and cries, "Great! Now we're lost!"
The officer looks over the car and asks Schrödinger if the two men have anything in the trunk.
"A cat," Schrödinger replies.
The cop opens the trunk and yells "Hey! This cat is dead."
Schrödinger angrily replies, "Well he is now."

This one is a bit dated now ...

The barman says ' Sorry we don't serve faster than light neutrinos in here'. A neutrino walks into a bar.

What do you call a hungry parrot?

Polly- No-Meals!

No parrots were harmed in the telling of this joke, and the narrator does not condone or support the malnutrition of our feathered friends.

(polynomials)

What does a mathematician do when she has constipation?

She works it out with a pencil.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized.

A neutron walked into a bar and asked, "How much for a drink?"
The barman replied, "For you, no charge".

There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.

MyICD

Just remembered this:

There was an old lady called Wright
who could travel much faster than light.
She departed one day
in a relative way
and returned on the previous night.

Why did the cat fall off the roof?

There wasn't enough ?!

If it doesn't display, it's supposed to be a mu symbol.

Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.

Pascal is no where to be seen.

Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk
in his hand. He’s sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a
side.

Einstein says “Newton, you’re …terrible, I’ve found you!”

Newton says “No no, Einy. You’ve found one Newton per square meter. You’ve found Pascal!”