Eating Disorder Recovery

[OhIFellOff]

I'm documenting my journey to try and recover from an eating disorder over the year. I know I'm not alone in this struggle, so thought I'd share my experiences.

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Sleep Don't worry I'm not going to get into an argument on the other thread. I will only go back for the op, if she comes back. But I really couldn't say nothing, It's a pet hate of mine, people being nasty. Especially when you were trying to help. It looked like she picked a fight.

Really nervous....the line was faint and given my history I am worried

Offering you a hand hold and lots of support.x

Jokers congratulations! what lovely news. A line is a line, faint isn't any indication of anything, please try not to worry. We are all sending you positive vibes . Take good care of yourself. How is DP with the news?

He is over the moon had a cry cos he is so happy. He's nervous to but he just can't help but get excited each time

Hope the news has sunk in jokers.

Having trouble with accepting how I look still. It's my birthday today so arranged to meet friends for lunch. Had a real wobble and didn't want to go but made myself do it. I did have a nice time but was very self conscious. I suppose it will take time to change my way of thinking.

Anyway, going to have a rare evening with my dh tonight. We were going to go out but I think I'd prefer a takeaway and cuddling up on the sofa watching tv.

Tomorrow I am going to try to eat healthy but not restrict too much like I normally do.

Hope everyone else doing ok.

Happy Birthday
Its really good to hear you managed to get over your worry and get out. It's going to take all of us time, but you're heading in the right direction!

I've been out with DC today. Absolutely knackered

Happy Birthday Purple, well done for going out for lunch. Have a lovely evening with DH .

Happy birthday x

Just wanted to share my day with you as it's been a good one (I think) 3 meals and 2 snacks - all healthy (I think) can you please read through and tell me what you think. Not sure if my idea of "normal" is correct anymore....... Just really need to have a good chance
breakfast was 2 slices of toast made from homemade bread, with a nectarine, plum and blackberries. With glass of water.
morning snack blueberries, hot cross bum with butter and green tea.
Lunch was kale soup with one slice of home made bread. Biolive natural yoghurt with melon. Water.
Afternoon snack a hard boiled egg and a drink of water.
Drink of Camomile tea
Dinner home made chicken, spinach and chickpea curry with brown rice. Drink of low sugar squash.
About to have a peppermint tea.
Thanks x

Hey Jokers well done on eating so well today! There's pretty good stuff there . If I were to tweak it I'd add more EFA's (try and eat raw nuts, nut butter, cold pressed oils, oily fish, eggs, avocado, seeds, olives every day), a bit more protein, bit less bread perhaps....also it's good to get the protein and fat in first half of the day, so

• perhaps have a couple of eggs with the toast for breakfast. Or have something like smoked salmon and eggs. Or sardines on toast? If you are rushing spread some nut butter on the toast?

• was your soup homemade? Could you add lentils/chickpeas/beans to it? A better source of carbs and protein than the bread . Perhaps a small salad on the side...eg baby spinach with avocado (and whatever veg you like), drizzled with nice olive oil, sprinkled with some seeds would be great.

• afternoon snack, if you had eggs for breakfast maybe have some raw nuts and a piece of fruit, or some houmous and crudités, or a sliced apple spread with nut butter....

• dinner sounds amazing, I fancy that right now .

Finally...more veg whenever you get the chance

What do you think?

Well done jokers

Soup is home made.
I make my bread with whole meal flour, flax seed, ground almonds, ground Brazil nuts, pumpkin seeds and ground hazelnuts which is why I eat a lot of it, and I don't like whole nuts.
Good point about avocados and olives. Hadn't thought of them.
I usually have 3 dinner portions of oily fish a week, is that ok?
Can I post tomorrows food for you to read through again?

Jokers, so glad you had a good dayâ?¥ posting what your eating on here may help me too. I have lost a sense of normal too. I think tonight, you should be smiling.

Wow, impressive bread, loads of EFA's - can you make me some? It sounds amazing! No need to reduce that? Great about the fish and of course, I'd be happy to look again tomorrow

Sorry, stray ? in there!

Fighting I just saw your post re talking to your mum, how was that?

It went well until about 15min ago. Post is on the blog as husband isn't here for me to cry to why the fuck do I do it to myself. I think I can trust and open up a little and I get shot down in flames. There is a huge background but it's not something I wany to revisit. I've put it to bed and will just have to forget this one too. I can't change anything but my own reaction.

I bit the bullet and said 'Don't you want to read the book' the response was ' I can't rwad with the tv on, I can't concentrate'.

I asked.if shw would rwad.it tomorrow and she said yes. She's taken it to bed. So I told her its probably quite important to.read bits of the book, to be able to understand my condition. Saying all of that made me incredibly anxious and took a lot to say it. Normally I would have just left it.

Oh fighting I'm sorry . Our relationship with our mum is so complicated - and so often it mirrors in our relationship with food/body.

We all need to forgive our parents, does that sound crazy? There is always something to forgive, whether something 'minor' or something truly terrible - not for the sake of person you are forgiving and not to let them 'off the hook' but to allow ourselves to let go. Am I sounding like a complete loon to you now?

No it makes sense sleep and I have been in a happy place about it for quite a while. I accept how my parents are and don't think about the past now. but today seemed like progress. I just obviously got it a bit wrong.

Ah, I know how it it, despite all your experiences, you still have that hope and expectation and it's such a horrible feeling having it destroyed yet again . It's not your fault you know, having hope is a good trait . You will be ok. xx

How are you feeling today Fighting?

I'm ok. Little bit low but nit too bad. Very tired due to DC up last night. I coild do woth a long sleep and movie nighton sofa.supposed to be my gym night. Just can't be bothered .

you can tell I'm tired, half of that wasn't English. (neither was this at first) Sorry

Sleep deprivation is a killer, worse coupled with low mood . Have a nice snuggle with DH tonight and hopefully a peaceful night's sleep. Tomorrow is another day to start positively .