debt and thoughts of suicide

[joee123]

I am a single mum with a ten year old.i am drowning in debt and santander are taking me to court on the 5th november for repossession.the council and debts agencies are pushingme from pillar to post.my daughter goes away on sunday for 1 week.i feel quite calm now as im planning to take my life.i know she will be looked after.i dont even know why im here.im jyst desperate i suppose

Millionyears i am a strong person.this with santander had just worn me out.feel like they ve got me at breaking point.but definitely have felt better today thankyou xxx

I am signing off now fir some sleep.massive thankyou again for all the support snd help xxx

xxx

Mumsnet is incredible. Joee stay strong!

Just checking in, have a good day today x

Thank u all.santander phoned me back this am.the woman was awful.i explained that my council would help me wuth mortgage rescue but that they needed ti agree.she was adamant they wont and jyst advised i go to court.i was anyway.who are these people¿ they wld get their money back and we could stay in our home but pay the council\ social landlord an affordable rent.once our home is sorted i could work with cccs to sort the debts.i have not encountered anyone so far who speaks to you decently in this awful company.i am so angry with them.might give me more strength to fight back. The judge might help me xxx

Am wondering whether it is worth you putting your fiancial problems onto the money matters board,and see if anyone on MN is able to give you any financial advice or tips on there.
Or even on the legal board?
And yes the judge might help you.

They really are unbelievable :-( it takes sooo much energy to fight them xxx

I hope the judge will help you.

Just try and remember that stuff happens that feels like the end of the world but it doesn't have to be.

We lost our house when both DH and I lost our jobs within a week of each other. We had 2 young DCs and the mortgage company were utter bastards.
We ended up in a council b&b. It wasn't fun to be honest but it enabled us to have a roof over our heads and drag ourselves back up again.

I know losing your home seems like the worst thing that can happen. I know you feel complete dispair at the thought of starting all over again.

But you can do it. You are a good mother, your Dd sounds lovely,you work hard, you help other people, you will get through this.

Whatever happens, you know you have the strength to get through it.
Speak to as many people as you can, Shelter,CAB, council about what will happen of the worst comes to the worst and you have to move.
Prepare yourself for it, and know that you and your Dd will get through the tough times and come out the other side x

My brother has been to court twice and the judge has sided with him. I will point out my brother has 6 children! The judge said what good would it do making them homeless. I think he pays £20 a month off his arrears. There are some nice judges.
I hope you and dd are having a nice weekend.

Did you read my link from last night? It mentions the 'pre-action protocol' - steps the lender must take before going to court. If the steps are not followed you can ask for an adjournment. Have you requested a free half hour with a solicitor? Maybe Shelter could refer you to a housing specialist.
They should still give you advice, even if they're not in court with you.

Thanks shitgun n all.u had long t/c with shelter n they gave me the protocol.i dont think santander have even looked at ut.that might help too xxx

Thanks shotgun all.u had long t/c with shelter n they gave me the protocol.i dont think santander have even looked at ut.that might help too xxx

Joee, just to say I was in a similar position to you two years ago with Santander.

I went to court and the duty solicitor was FANTASTIC. I thought he'd be just shrugging it off- but he sat and chatted then went over to the Santander rep and managed to come up with a payment plan cheaper than I had wanted to put forward! Santander were fking horrible on the phone to me and would not negotiate beforehand.
I have never been so scared in my life, but am now so bloody glad I went to court and argued.

Joee, just came across this thread. Just wanted to add my support and repeat that you are an amazing, inspirational woman who has so much to live for. You will get through this! Just a bit more energy needed to fight your battle and a plan will be sorted for you. Hang in there xx

Hi Joee, just checking in

How did the rabbit bathing go? Did everyone get wet?

I have no experience btw, but think surely a duty solicitor and a judge would look favourably on you, given that you want to pay, are in a job and have the council behind you - am guessing court will buy you a bit more time in any case?

I know it will feel horrible if things don't go your way, but you never know what is around the corner, might be pants for a while, then land on your feet. We've never been able to buy and had a rough road renting, losing the house we loved and chose for our family home. Thought I would never get through it. We ended up in a much better position ironically, though it got worse before it got better.

How are you feeling this evening?

Dear everyone thanks again for the amazing support.just letting you know we are going to an impromtu halloween party invited out by friends.we are looking out the witches hats now! I am going to forget all about santander for tonight and enjoy our night out.And Defragged the rabbit wont look at me now!! Catch up later and again huge thanks for all the ideas and support xxx

Just wanted to add you ve all been amazing.im not sure id still be here without all the help you ve given me.we v both had a good day.still believing in pay it forward xxx

Excellent have agood one!

Just remember too much alcohol, hangovers and thoughts of suicide are not a great mix - take it easy but promise to have fun!

Excellent at going out that is, not that the rabbit won't look at tyou
I'm sure he'll get over it

I ll go steady.promise.and i have my girl too xxx

Enjoy the party, you deserve a break joee

I agree with advice given re: your DD needing you. I also think it would help you to get some psychological support through your difficult situation (do it for DD if not yourself). Your GP can refer you for free counselling & your local 'Mind' should be able to support you. Good luck x

How you doing today Joee? How was the party?
Keep us posted with how you're doing won't you....

Hi defragged nice to hear from you. yes thankyou we had a fun night-and I didn't think about court or the dreaded S word- just getting ready to see the girl off, so I know today will be difficult.When she's gone I'm going to call in on a friend so Im not alone thinking. if I feel I can do it I'm also going to look through the court paperwork and start thinking of what I want the judge to know and how I want to say it. Thank you again ever so much for caring and I will be back to post later xxx