Crying at home because police made me realise I am not English

[MillyAndFriends]

I am an intelligent, educated, powerful woman who loved UK. It is the only place where hindus and muslims engage on an equal footing ( I say this because when I was in Bangladesh my gran would not visit her muslim neighbours but that is the norm) I loved the UK, but today I cried.

I am worthless, I am nobody, I don't matter...I am ASIAN, I am BLACK.
Despite paying my taxes and contributing to society I am SHIT, I am worthless, I am nothing (Gandhi fought to make us equal but he failed.....)

I was stood waiting outside a club, I had ordered a cab and I was going to wait outside for my Addision Lee.
I am 7 1/2 stome (obviously a fat arse)
On a pavement in London ( where people must obviously be smaller than me)
When I was asked to move away from the club because I was blocking the way

Oops being 7 1/2 stone I took up all the space

Despite explaining that I was waiting for a cab, I was asked to move to the corner of the road.

I explained that I was waiting for a cab.
The chap became stroppy stating I should go (not very nicely).
As I had explained to him the cab was coming to the place.
He got cross.
Trying to use my brain (why did I bother!) I explained that legally I was entitled to stand where I was ( I couldn't understand what was going on..I didn't like the way he had spoken to me,,,I even explained how much I had spent in the club when the person was being silly- £300+!)

They the THREATENED TO CALL THE POLICE

i SAID GO ON THEN ...Really I thought the POLICE have better things to do!!! Don't they???

In the meantime someone was taking a film....I don't know why..

The police turned up, and I stupidly thought they would listen

They didn't ...I was in the wrong

For some reason someone who was 7 1/2 stone was preventing people walking past the pavement. Due to this, people were crossing on to the road, and I was causing a nuisance.
I asked the police men, are you taking the Micheal and they said NO! I even said " listen to what you are saying re: someone who is 7 1/2 stone (okay I said 6) who is taking up ALL of the pavement....

I am so sorry because I am unable to articulate how SHIT they made me feel.
Bullied, Bullied, Bullied RACIST SHITS.
I AM NOT that time of person to make such comments but I HATE YOU for making me say this.
Even when I rationised with them and explained I have friends who are policemen and I understood the challenges they were going through they were horrible.

I even said to them, do you really want to do this.
Even when they threatened to arrest me, I asked why what is the basis (I spouted some meaningless shit..re: human rights I learnt from uni, and even explained I have a friend who is a policeman, and that I understood their concern)

Shit, shit, shit,
(an idiot was filiming me but I am not sure why as I was rationalised - me thinks)

Best thing was that this lady from the club came out and I explained that you don't own the pavement, I was just waiting for my addision lee. She suggested it would be nice if I stood at the corner and I asked why?

I defended myself,

Why can't I wait on that pavement, you don't own it ...the police didn't agree with me ( I am repeating myself I know because this is SHIT and I am upset!)

And now I am crying, I thought I was English. I even defended England to a Scottish man tonight

I have described the above very nicely but all I know is thanks to tonight I'm NOT English, and I don't want my family to go through the RACIST shit I had to go through to night (the above is a very polite version of stuff...but I cried all the way home when I realised some SHIT ARSE has made be lose my Identity, and that the police who I THOUGT stood up for you would do...

But now I have to accept what my dad said to me, you may think your English BUT don't forget you're BROWN.
Thank you for proving my dad right!

I can't see racism here. At least you didn't try to go for a full house and cry 'sexism'.

It sounds like a stroppy bouncer who has been told to move people along from their entrance area, which I believe they can do (not all the way down the road though). They can be a bit stroppy but it sounds like you got annoyed with him and it went back and forth and completely out of hand. I am suprised they got all shirty with a single woman at what, 1am or something, unless you were a bit tipsy and mouthy.

The police didn't sound racist either - they probably assumed you were drunk or out to cause trouble.

Please don't cry racism - this really really isn't it, and there many of us here who have seen the real, ugly stuff as well as the sneaky underhand stuff.

In what way did the police make you realise you are not English? I don't understand what happened to you happened because of the colour of your skin. I haven't read anything that makes me think the bouncer or the police were in anyway racist.

Perhaps you could clarify OP, because quite honestly I think anybody could have been treated like this, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the colour of your skin.

If this is the first incident you have ever experienced where you feel you have been treated in a certain way because of the colour of your skin, then hey, that's not bad going.

One thing you could do is raise the matter with Addison Lee.
They ought not to have their pick up points by club entrances, where waiting is discouraged.
they ought to know that!

I think you were in an uncomfortable situation. I think they could have been kinder to you. But you sound now as if you are trying to rationalise things you did when you were drunk (You told them you'd spent £300; You told them your mate's husband is a copper; You tried to remember some law you knew from years ago).
This was not racism.

I have to say - you post seems like you are very upset and possibly still a little drunk, but nowhere in your OP can I see you say how and where the police or nightclub people were racist - they asked you to move along how is this tied with your race? sounds more to do with your level of inebriation.

Also where in the post did someone tell you you were not English? If you identify yourself as English then you are English, someone asking you to move along from blocking a pavement has nothing to do with your race. If someone did or said something based on your race fair enough - but it sounds like you are projecting that onto this situation. Just because someone disagrees with you does not mean they are being rascist to wards you because they are one race and you are another.

Of course you may have been too angry to have told the whole story and your conversations with all of them could have been peppered with rascist slurs and abuse - but it did not seem that way from your OP.

The thing is, you are not guaranteed to get to do as you please no matter how rational and principled you think you are being when the other party has better reasons not to let you.

It may have worked before when you were suffering from altitude sickness in Argentina and the guide would have had to arrange to have you taken back to camp (i.e. more trouble that it was worth to him to win the argument), but a perfectly principled and rational refusal to comply with a reasonable request is still point blank refusal no matter how many reasons you can clearly and rationally state to someone. Just because you weren't kicking and screaming doesn't make it a bit of a tantrum, or an incident where you were being quite unreasonable, and refusing to fix your own problem with the taxi location or thinking this was something insurmountable was childish.

Just because you didn't get your own way here doesn't mean the people who wanted you to move were being racist any more than the mountain guide would have been racist if he had insisted you go down the mountain or wait while the rest of the party went ahead.

god mn

you've got a (small) woman on her own here intimidated by a load of blokes in the West End at night, and you're all busy assuming that the poster is wrong as to her interpretation of what happened?

nice

none of us were there, only the op- but we've still managed 130 odd posts telling her that she's got it wrong

how do we know?

we don't

and this isn't AIBU

Not read all the replies, only the first page, as so many. I'm a bit lost, to be honest - where on earth does race come into the scenario that you described?!
If I've read correctly, they wanted you to move as you were causing an obstruction, and you flat out refused and caused a scene instead.
Size is irrelevant - a cavorting about toddler, or a 6 year old standing nicely on the pavement could also be blocking the path if they were in the way.
So because they told you to move, it's automatically because of the colour of your skin? That's ridiculous, sorry - because the situation you described sounds like they would have been asking ANYONE who was in the way to move - they didn't do it because of your race!
That sounds like your insecurities and hang ups, sorry to say.

Whether this was racist or not, I think you need to put in a written complaint.

Their actions sound totally barmy, not to mention potentially dangerous for a young woman alone.

I still can't see the racism.

Also, if your cab was picking you up on the other side of the road why didn't you wait there? Or were the cab company being racist by making you cross the road?

The bouncer and police do sound obnoxious, but I don't get why you didn't move 20 yards down the street so that you weren't in front of the club any more but could still look out for the cab.

Also, Addison Lee always send a text when they're on their way to give the cab's colour and registration, and then ring/text when the cab arrives. So as long as you had your phone there's no way you could have missed them.

OP you sound a pain in the arse. Professional racism victim. People like you really get my goat. Racism is nasty, ugly and ingrained, not some pissed gobby bint not getting her own way.

Central London and both bouncers, the woman who was something to do with the club and the two police men were all white? Seriously?

and the cab picked you up from across the street anyway .

Is it not possible the bouncer was attempting to tell you that in the first place and you failed to hear him out.

Best. Comment. Ever.

'If someone doesn't do something then no, actually, it doesn't happen...'

See above.

Am wally-shaped.

I also see no racism in anything you post - I also suspect that the reason you were being filmed was because they (seemingly rightly so) thought they might need evidence that there WERE NOT acting in any way racist - especially when you stated spouting human rights at them.

Thats not to say you didn't have a bad experience, as you say you didn't drink much, then I'm also wondering what drugs you were on, as your reaction is way more than the normal rational reaction of a slightly tipsy person who feels they have been harassed

That said I do know from personal experience (as a WHITE woman) that both London Police & Bouncers can at times behave as if they are God incarnate & too often there is little logic to their actions, certainly not the law, more, I'm on a power trip so you don't get a say - but that doesn't make them racist - just power crazy arseholes & unfortunately theres no law against that

You mentioned your fathers views on your standing as an Asian living in a white country several times - I think THAT is the real source of your racism - not that it actually happened, but that you have been brought up to BELIEVE it will happen & therefore even at a subconscious level this has taken its toll on your train of thought - so when something happens to make you feel uncomfortable & intimidated, your mind jumps straight to the racist card :(

rockin your last paragraph has hit the nail on the head I think (but I think you mean her fear of racism, rather than 'her racism.')

Yep HMQ you are correct - I somehow lost a word - mind you posting with half my marbles intact today, so its amazing that it made any sense at all :)