Dear Mr Cumberbatch
As you know, I have been long been prone to wild fantasies about your body an admirer of your incredibly sexy voice mouth hands arse thespian talents.
I regard you as the finest piece of male crumpet I have ever seen eminently shaggable a doyen of the creative arts, and would be most grateful if you would shag me senseless cover me in whipped cream before having your wicked way with me have your wicked way with me and never mind the whipped cream let me have my wicked way with you with or without the sodding cream an amazingly creative actor and would welcome being shagged senseless by you your help in fulfilling some exceedingly filthy ideas I have the unreasonable requests of my boss though you can be as unreasonable as you like with me providing we eventually get round to a damn good shag
My problem is that I need to get more creative and I can think of many ways in which I could get creative with you including tearing your shirt off and tying you to the bedposts in my wildest dreams Adult Literacy lessons.
I am sure that you could assist me in this oh boy oh boy never mind the Adult Learners, let's just get down to it
Lest you doubt my stamina credentials, let me asssure you that I have a 38" bust, bum-length hair and a walk-in stationary cupboard, lockable from the inside. I am also a qualified First Aider (I say this to reassure you in case I get a bit too rough)
Awaiting your reply with little whimpering cries breathless anticipation and I sure as hell fancy the idea of you being the cause of said breathlessness
TheAddict
PS Monday suit you? Don't forget to cancel the milk as what I have in mind may take some considerable time.
PPS You will no doubt be pleased to know that I have now conquered my fromer obsession with apricot jam.