At one of her homes with Liz 'I'm broke' Jones and her mythical friends, including the ones who aren't her friends anymore, on her Prada inspired Island where pubes are banned and eating is disordered

[cario]

OK, the thread on 'chat' has expired and we can't really stretch the whole 'who is the RS' thing any further as we're already pretty sure it's a mythical entity. Once she'd found out she'd been busted re the 'married man in S America' hallucination, Liz Jones has been busy practicing backpedalling as fast as her hairy little Prada enclosed legs will go so herewith a new thread, to enable a) us to continue marvelling at her audacity and self obsession (aka taking the piss) and b) continue to give our Liz ideas for her column, as she seemed to pick ones from the old thread with such ease. Liz - here's looking at you (and your dreadfully applied eyeliner)

It's OK folks, I've cracked it at last. This is the Rock Star:

london.craigslist.co.uk/m4w/2844072315.html

(Don't even ask why I was browsing Craigslist myself at 3 am but this is definitely not what I was looking for but the advert title "The strangest proposition ever" did grab my attention and opened it up only to find exactly how Liz met her RS !!!!)

sorry KengaT, I AM going to have to ask - why were you browsing Craigslist at 3am?????

Brilliant!

Why did we cancel out Duran Duran?

Im confused now. I cant cope anymore www.simpleminds.com/sm/Breaking-Out-b558

arrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhh, she's not still sticking to her Jim Kerr thing, even after she (and he) said it wasn't. Stupid woman. I think Duran Duran are all either married or involved. Can't remember exactly, but they did get ruled out - mind you, so did Jim Kerr. What about another Simple Mind?

Theyve all got piggy eyes from what I can remember. Duran Duran and Simple Minds are both the ones that are coming up for touring Australia. I really need to get some fresh air now.

utter utter tosh

complete, MrsB. Get out of your own butt LJ, you're not even witty and that is inexcusable!!!!!

I havent even seen it today. Whats the subject? animals, rockstars or, her own vanity?

I don't think she even hits any of those dubious, though inane and fictitious, heights today, ERocks. You could probably classify it as her own vanity though. I wish she were near so I could slap her face a few times and tell her to get over herself ......

Oh it's one of those "I was never good enough" ones is it?

in fairness though, she's right - she's still not!

She really must have been desperate for something to write about this week.
Even news of the animals would have been more interesting than that.

No idea what she's papping on about this week - if she's trying to be all mysterious and enigmatic, she's failed miserably. She just comes over as self obsessed and barking - nothing new there, then. How the heck are we meant to know who she's bleating about? She's even run out of imaginery life now, hasn't she?

So we have now had two diaries comprised almost entirely about her dead cat.
I can understand up to a point, and have felt upset when one of my children's pets died, but I can't help wondering if her poor mum, who is dying, will be given so much coverage when she eventually dies.
She really must find the money from somewhere to visit her nephew in Oz, and to support her sister. There was obviously money available for a face lift, but then we have to get our priorities right, don't we?

Did anyone read the piece in small print written alongside the diary, saying how she can no longer respond personally to emails as she is 'exhausted' and 'in mourning'?

Didn't see that small print. The woman is a psychopath, in the true psychology sense of the word, you're right about her mother too. Also, this is the same Liz Jones who was about to book a ticket to see a fictional married guy in South America a month or two ago - hmmmm, as she didn't go after all, maybe she could have used that money for an Oz ticket?

I thought that she didn't go because she couldn't blag a freebie from BA High Life magazine

but who knows what really goes on in her parallel universe?

tsch, and there was me thinking she 'cancelled' because she'd realised that her readership weren't buying the whole new mythical married boyfriend story.

I thought she 'cancelled' and knocked the Australia story on its head because she realised that Mumsnet had already proved that Simple Minds toured Australia last year - as per post by Edinburgh Rocks further back - and are not due to tour Australia this year !!!

And when Liz read that and realised the Mumsnet crew had ruined one of her fictions again, she decided to drop the Australia visit :-)

But now she makes out it is tragic that she cannot get to Oz to see her dying nephew as she cannot afford a flight (oh-woe-is-£250,000 salary-me), when the dying nephew had never been proffered by Liz as the reason for wanting to go to Australia in her original fictions !!!

Looks like the fictional RS has chucked her (in the place where they first met, puhleeze!)

good job it's all made up, or she may have gotten upset.

I dont think I can face reading it.

She bought him an ipod and preloaded it with crap her taste (after first deleting all her itunes except the ones she was putting on it rather than unchecking the box, daft caah). He phoned and asked her to meet at 6.30, she complained as it meant only having 7 hours to de-furr (I may have made some of that up) They met in the hotel that she interviewed him in 20 yrs ago and he basically dumped her but not in so many words, and said he was off to dinner. She got in a taxi and played Roberta Flack.

All this was interspersed with loads of stuff about her ex-H, ishoos anyone??

and this all happened on Valentines Day. My heart is bleeding..... bleeding laughing itself stupid. She also made reference to her poverty stricken state again - shouldn't go wasting her money on ipods.

Do we actually think he's chucked her now?

Also, one of the comments says it's Bill Wyman. Have I missed all the speculation about him already? Because I don't recall him being mentioned.