The Locksley-Oakenshield Academy of Hairdressing and Beauty Therapy

[ComeIntoTheSinisterGardenMaud]

All specialisms catered for. We offer courses in

Hairdressing, whether for long hair or a more conventional short back and sides

Manicures

Skincare: facepacks and other beauty treatments

Body art

Advice on styling and personal grooming, ranging from
formal evening attire to casual wear, with specialist sessions on military uniform.

Surely a gentlman never removes his shirt in the preseence of a lady?

I think perhaps he might, Massive. Should he be invited to do so.

::Kicks rather crumpled FWS under chaise longoo and affects an air of innocence::

Hee hee! I found this when I was looking for more of Vanity Fair. It has everrything we like in the Academy - .

yes that's true Vampy, I think if the phlegm turns green then that means it is infected?

Look, can we abandon the discussion of green phlegm? I feel ill enough already .

::has died and gone to cravat heaven::

!

::Collapses on the Aubusson::

Oh my indeed - will have a proper look later but I do love that song.

Have you tried Covonia and honey with hot water, Maud? It'll make you cough a bit more for about 15 minutes but then should settle it a bit (add a shot of whisky for bedtime and it'll knock you out so you get a few hours decent sleep too). Potter's pholcodine pastilles are also quite good.

Well, we've had an eventful afternoon. Saw paediatrician last week who has referred Miss S for blood tests for coeliac disease. Phoned GP who said they didn't do them but to go to pathology at the hospital. Rocked up there after school to discover they don't do them but the hospital children's centre does - if you've made an appointment. Dragged Miss S to said dept and had a minor hissy fit so they managed to get us seen but...having been told she would just need a spray on the arm, it turned out to be a cream that takes an hour to work.

She fainted just having the cream applied!

It appears Miss S is truly my mother's grand-daughter!

Anyhoo, got there eventually - she was fine with the actual jab (which they did laying down just in case ) - then got home to find Mr S had been waiting in the car for an hour and half as he hadn't taken his key out with him!

Rather a preponderance of other gentlemen though, Maud. Won't Mr Thornton be miffed?

Oh dear Spiro, sorry! Your post nipped in while I was typing out my inane woffle.

What a load of worry and stress for you.

She's fainted before at school, so it was a bit embarrassing when she started to say she couldn't see me and felt wobbly, 'cos I said 'don't be silly you're fine' and the nurse said 'no, she's going to faint.'

Second round of cr*p Mummy award for Spiro in 3 days!

The point I was trying and failing to make there was that she's never fainted in front of me so I didn't recognise the signs!

I now realise that saying she can't see and going pale grey are pretty damn obvious ones!

Thanks for the medical tips. I'm already on the pholcodine cough medicine - the only one that actually works (I'm told) but is harder to find because it's an opioid - but will look for the pastilles too. I had just decided to have something hot and milky at bedtime, as the coughing gets even worse then and lack of sleep is doing neither me nor The Bloke any good. But maybe Scotch would be better?

I think Mr Thornton understands that seeing him alongside these others simply confirms his place as first amongst equals, Massive.

::wibble::

Don't beat yourself up, Spiro. If you haven't seen Miss Spiro faint before, you can't blame yourself for not knowing what she looks like when she's on the point of fainting. Well done for holding your ground and not being fobbed off because you didn't have an appointment.

TBH Maud, if I've got a lurge my bedtime drink is Beechams (not Lemsip) Cold and Flu lemon drink with honey, 2 tsp Covonia and a large slug of whisky.

I drink it propped up, swaddled in blankets and with a wheat bag with a few drops of Olbas round my neck.

Am usually sparko within an hour for most of the night and feel much better the next day! It may not be a sensible concoction, but it seems to work .

Maud I was bloody fuming about being given such a runaround, especially as I knew Miss S was fretting (I didn't tell her we were going until we were en route).

To be fair once I explained what had happened they were lovely and fabulous with Miss S too.

Hmm. I've got a wheat bag lying around somewhere. I'll go and have a rummage.

So when will you hear anything, Spiro? I hope they don't keep you waiting too long for that.

::Wheezes gratefully::

Maud don't you like that man that makes choirs out of people who can't sing?!. Anyway he's doing a military wives one now on bbc2 (I think!).

Must dash.

I do, in the sense that I admire what he does and how people are transformed by the experience of being in a choir. I don't harbour any, ahem, thoughts about him, if that's what you mean.

No that is what I meant about his actual musical talents!! Looked quite interesting from the trailer but then I suppose it is relevant to me!! We're sky plussing it - watching Junior "I'm really pretentious overly self-important and really very very young!" Apprentice!

The Girl is currently obsessed with because she saw Gareth on CBBC, with a choir of school children.

::Dons Hawaiian shirt and lei and throws shapes::

Such interesting programs you have over there.

Do I detect a note of sarcasm? Gareth achieves wonders but I do fear the format is wearing a little thin. Then again, Britain's Got Negligible Talent's been going for ages, hasn't it, and the choir programmes are far better than that.

Stands next to Maud and pretends to catch a wave,

Round round get around, I get around