The Inclusive Academy of Sword Fighting Skills for the Vertically Challenged, Milton North Campus

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Selected master classes available in;

Beard Plaiting
Grimacing
Application of Prosthetics
Dragon Taming

Please make welcome our <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.ramascreen.com/wp-content/uploads/The-Hobbit-thorin-richardarmitage.jpg&imgrefurl=www.ramascreen.com/the-hobbit-first-look-at-thorin-oakenshield&usg=__O91GQN2kC1_7KRh88mB40XHMmYw=&h=1600&w=2400&sz=1063&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=KHapa_DPfVYNhM:&tbnh=137&tbnw=174&ei=2UkkTraJC4a38gPS2PGkAw&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dthorin%2Bpictures%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26biw%3D1920%26bih%3D880%26tbm%3Disch%26prmd%3Divns&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=1270&vpy=422&dur=1623&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=143&ty=96&page=1&ndsp=54&ved=1t:429,r:41,s:0&biw=1920&bih=880" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">new lecturer.

Hope Miss Twigs is ok. I have just had to scoop dd's friend back onto the airbed! Fingers crossed we don't have any nocturnal frolics but am not holding my breath.

I don't know about ties, Maud, sorry. but those pots in the background wouldn't win any prizes

Why are you staggering in? is it the SH effect?

Have you been up to anything exciting today Maud?

Nor do I really, Massive, although I do like to see a gentleman in proper tailoring and thought this (tie) was beauteous.

Exciting, Spiro? Well, after the man had seen to my pipework (as discussed earlier) Girl and I went shopping. I've also just found a pile of photos she's left lying around - she was amusing herself earlier by going through all the photos I've yet to put into albums and admiring herself as a baby* - and there are pictures of her aged about 2 in dear Claude's garden.

• she is not troubled by self-esteem issues.

Ah bless her, long may it continue, Maud!

Well, I generally hope so, Massive, but sometimes I wonder. Actually, I think a theatrical career beckons as she imagines that there is nobody more fascinating and entertaining than her.

::Chorus of Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs Worthington::

Maybe a bit of healthy self-belief is good, in view of all the put-downs girls have to contend with during their lives

I'm sure it is, my worry is when healthy self-belief tips over into arrogance. Nobody likes an egotist or a show-off.

I'm tackling the ironing mountain so have cranked u the video jukebox. DJ Maud is in da house. .

Did you see what I did there?

I don't know about girls -- though of course I used to be one myself.
But with a mum like you she should be just fine.

Time I went. Up early to see the SBs off on a trip. Just for the day worse luck

Oh, I love that one. Hope LadyD doesn't miss it! Sorry I have to go and leave you with your ironing.

Aww thanks. If only you knew. Have a good day tomorrow.

I'm fine here. Bloke is on the neighbouring sofa, enjoying the music but ::cough:: sadly unable to see the visuals.

Mission aborted.

No visual of the Beard.

Abandoned post at 18:45 due to increasing urgency of dispatching progeny to nocturnal activities.

Identified many hopeful attendees, easily recognised by height of hems, heels and tightness of dresses alongside specific orange shade of skin and excessively sweeping eyelashes.

Press were in attendance but only observed collaborating with subjects identified as mayoral male and spouse.

::puts box and cable ties back in cupboard at The Grid, keeps stun gun as potentially very useful over the next 6 weeks::

::pins all hopes on chance meeting in Big Smoke::

Can I just say, if I find out on the news that he turned up in the 10 minutes after I left I will hand in my resignation from the Academy for absolute failure in my mission.

Oh no, LadyDamerel, but well done at having maintained your position (so to speak) until 18:45. Have a consolatory doughnut.

When you have a chance to read back, you will see that in your absence you were nominated to inaugurate the next faculty. I think it was going to be dedicated to Sylvester.

::Looks forward to the reappearance of the cravat as the foremost item of manly apparel::

::chews doughnuts::

I was thinking about 'The Phoebe Marlow Academy of Trumpery Novel Writing', so not Sylvester himself but still in keeping with the themes of the Academy, what do you think?

Sorry for the extended absence tonight. The prolonged hanging about in the foyer surveillance of the Odeon made me a bit late back for the MiniDs' bedtime then we had to rush straight out to friends for dinner which I had forgotten about in the excitement of the mission.

Well, that's all completely over my head, LadyDamerel, as my only acquaintance with the oeuvre of La Heyer is via the first three discs of Venetia - I will be taking your husband on holiday with me, by the way, I hope you don't mind - but I like the sound of it.

During your dinner with friends you didn't ... blab ... did you? You didn't ... divulge ... any ... classified information?

I have finally finished the ironing (Dixon's night off again) so must away. A demain.

Thank goodness I didn't miss him when I abandoned my post early.

I did see the lads in the right hand pic in that link but had NO idea who they were . Maybe that's who all the fake tans and false eyelashes were for....

::Looks back at you::

O tempora, o mores.

Maud, if you would like to take dear Jasper away with you I will give you my blessing. I can also recommend that Sylvester accompanies you as he sounds even swoonier than Damerel also has a lovely tale with which to enchant you.

Welcome to our new faculty

No disclosure of any classified information was made although I feel I may need a one to one debriefing session with the section chief.

Sorry, little distraction there. the section chief.

::collects up ReseArch materials::

::turns out lights::

::turns lights back on::

::locates Uzi under the couch::

::throws Uzi out::

::leaves lights on as too distracted by memories of section chief's rather lovely tummy button::