The Inclusive Academy of Sword Fighting Skills for the Vertically Challenged, Milton North Campus

[TheSmallPrint]

Selected master classes available in;

Beard Plaiting
Grimacing
Application of Prosthetics
Dragon Taming

Please make welcome our <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.ramascreen.com/wp-content/uploads/The-Hobbit-thorin-richardarmitage.jpg&imgrefurl=www.ramascreen.com/the-hobbit-first-look-at-thorin-oakenshield&usg=__O91GQN2kC1_7KRh88mB40XHMmYw=&h=1600&w=2400&sz=1063&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=KHapa_DPfVYNhM:&tbnh=137&tbnw=174&ei=2UkkTraJC4a38gPS2PGkAw&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dthorin%2Bpictures%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DX%26biw%3D1920%26bih%3D880%26tbm%3Disch%26prmd%3Divns&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=1270&vpy=422&dur=1623&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=143&ty=96&page=1&ndsp=54&ved=1t:429,r:41,s:0&biw=1920&bih=880" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">new lecturer.

Oh no, Twigs. That sounds grim. I know they can be a bit meh, but have you tried parenting courses at SureStart or anything of that ilk? If they're so dreadful they're making you cry, something's gotta give.

Bloke can be exasperating, but he does always do the early shift, bless him.

Would a glass of and some twiglets be of any consolation?

I have just seen a recipe in one of the Sunday magazines for Raspberry-glazed Peaches

Are you getting overheated again, Spiro?

No, but it did make me chuckle!

Nice Twiglets, Maud, thank you! That's odd, I don't recall JP in a leather jacket...

Time for a bit of revision, Twigs!

Indeed, LadyD! I have been studying so hard in other areas that I have let that subject slip. Must try harder.

Some areas really do require IMMENSE amounts of revision

Let me help you with some revision materials

Some may need closer studying than others

I'm sure you've all heard this before but it made me giggle.

Twigs JP in leather jacket is at the end of episode 2 when he goes to visit Kate in hospital.

You might have to scroll right to the bottom of the page and click on track 8 for the last link, it appears to play randomly!

Tahnks for the revision matieral, LadyD - ah, dear Sgt. Crinkles, what a sweetheart. I much prefer him to Sgt. Shirt-Off, tbh. He is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more sexy with his uniform on, to me - though I realise I may be in a minority with Maud there :)

I have never got to the end of that song, LadyD, as I find it so utterly, gut-wrenchingly embarrassing!! I'd like to read a transcript of it though.

It's hilariously bad, isn't it? .

I find him too beefy in the SB pics, tbh. I don't really 'do' big muscles, they're a bit intimidating imo. I prefer the sculpted look he had in RH, it's less scary!

Were you here when we had the discussion about his scary muscles? Some of us were intimidated by them and some of us were more in favour, shall we say.

I don't think I was. I'm definitely in the scary camp.

If we were very mathematically minded we could make a very interesting Venn diagram with the beard/no beard/little muscles/big muscles debates, couldn't we?

I agree, Twiggy, that less is more and it is better to be left to imagine what lies beneath. Are you feeling any less stressed now?

Right, LadyDamerel. ::Glowers a la Gisborne:: I will never get back the 23 seconds I spent listening to that (and I use the word loosely) song beofre I found the off button. Was that the voice of his Californian stalker, I wonder?

I couldn't work out how to turn it off so I had the delight of listening to it all the way through.

If it is his american stalker then she needs to stick to stalking and leave the songwriting, methinks.

Will see if I can transcribe it for you Twigs, while LordD is out.

You really have suffered for your art, LadyDamerel.

Here it is in it's entirety:

Clear blue eyes and a gorgeous smile
Richard I've been crushing on you for a while
I love your accent and your villainous sneer
You've got the sexiest voice that I'll ever hear
Everytime I see you it's such a rush
My fingers start to tingle and my legs turn to mush
You're the sexiest man that ever walked the earth
So I wrote you a song.

Richard I wrote you this song
I've been crushing on you for oh so long
And if it aint right to dream of you at night
Well maybe I wanna do wrong

Guy of Gisbourne you make me swoon
Cutting out tongues never looked so cool
If you were marauding the countryside
and everybody else runs to hide
But Richard I'd stand there tall and proud
and slander the sheriff's name right out loud
just in the hope that you'd pull out your scissors
and pin me down

Richard I wrote you this song
I've been crushing on you for oh so long
And if it aint right to dream of you at night
Well maybe I wanna do wrong

Mr Thornton I believe you're made of stone
But I'd still love to get you all alone
Everyone says you've got a heart of ice
But that's okay you don;t need to be nice
Just meet me at the train station
I'm all ablush with anticipation
We'll steam up the train with our fiery passion
And I'll melt your heart

Richard I wrote you this song
I've been crushing on you for oh so long
And if it aint right to dream of you at night
Well maybe I wanna do wrong

Okay so he was a liar and a traitor
but Lucas North was as hot as the equator
Chasing down terrorists for MI5
The sexiest field agent alive
Never has the field service looked so fine
Lucas you can spy on me anythime
If you need to do a strip search on me
Well that's just fine

Richard I wrote you this song
I've been crushing on you for oh so long
And if it aint right to dream of you at night
Well maybe I wanna do wrong
Maybe I wanna do wrong
Maybe I wanna do wrong
C'mon baby let's do wrong

Twigs, you owe me big-style, I'm going to have that damn tune going round my head for days.

Oh my. Eat your heart out, E J Thribb. And is Sigmund the Psychoanalyst around? He could be busy for weeks.

I'm going to have that damn tune going round my head for days.

That happened to me when I first heard it, a bit back

You have to hand it to her, the tune's very catchy...

Hello all, meanwhole. Sorry I haven't been around for a bit. RL and all that

MistressD is singing it as well, which is worse. Fortunately she hasn't got any of the words.

That'll teach me for doing it while they were having their tea!

Massive, hope RL isn't too onerous, come back to us asap.

Perhaps we need a more acceptable choon, to drive out that caterwauling?

::raids juke box::

Besides, the chantoose is clearly a loon if she thinks Mr Thornton has a heart of ice. Even the most minimal study will reveal that Mr Thornton smoulders and burns with passion for me, his fiancée Margaret.