If something HUGE was to happen ..

[MaDuggar]

... how long could you survive with what you have in your house right now?

Do you have any tins/bottled water etc put away in case of a emergency?

Have been frealing myself out reading some wacky conspiray sites (all baging on about something huge happeneing in the next 2 weeks) - Im not be;lieveing it, but it has made me think that one day there could be an event and I probably would only last a week with my store cupboard!

Shocking, isnt it!

What's Plan A then? I'm very confused.

Re looting sticks - I've been thinking about this and I need to find the nearest girls' school that does lacrosse. Then I need to infiltrate the team somehow (I'm sure I'd pass as 14. I don't look a day older than 50) and steal their kit. Lacrosse sticks would be just the job. The large net, the length, the girth - I could loot anything. On horseback or otherwise.

I have custard and chick peas.

I always take the Zombie Threat (I felt capitals were needed) seriously.

I have a plan, and merely need to stock my Doom Cupboard, play a bit more Dead Rising 2 (to practice the zombie slaying, you understand) watch some more zombie films (see what makes them tick), and then I shall be fully prepared.

Thing is though, if there is an economic collapse of some sort, having a supply of tinned food might actually be quite handy!

Hassled, I have a spare polo stick if you would like it? That is going to be my looting stick of choice

Err I have a box of plasters, some ibruprofen and a large bottle of Benylin. I sense a lack of preparedness here.

Oh and tinned chopped tomatoes, mango puree and baked beans.

Hassled, the old school wooden ones or the fancy metal ones?

The metal ones hurt more when smacked across the knuckles on a cold winter's day, but the wooden ones are perhaps sturdier.

Scratch the mango puree, I just remembered I ate it with some yoghurt for breakfast. So that's tinned tomatoes and beans. Great.

I have no loot stick! My broom handly doesnt even hold up to mildly vigourous sweeping :(

[looks smug]
I have a plan. One of my court buddies (official title for fellow legal professional obviously) is in the TA, has recently returned from Afghanistan and has a handbook that tells you how to survive pretty much anything - with easy to follow pictures. He can also make fire, build shelters and kill stuff, and has a whole host of zombie plans of his own.

If I see him tomorrow I will simply issue him with strict orders to meet me in the advocates' lounge at our local magistrates' court the second the appocalypse stops actively appocalypsing.

Anyone want in?

Yes! I get first dibs seeing as I have forewarned you of the impending doom!

I just realized I don't even have any booze.

How will I survive?

I do have, however, two non-digital TVs that belong to my landlord. Do you think I could trade those for booze?

Oh and plenty of books to burn for heat. I could trade books for booze as well. ::nods::

ermm...well we have plenty of tinned / dried food (left over para due to all those public messages I watched as a child of the nuclear age)and bandages ...I did want to get a mini generator but my DH looked at me like a nutter! ...I think zombies are by the by...if the electricity just went off for a week or so it would be chaos

I didn't even know there were metal ones - all wooden back in my day when it was fields etc. I think I'd stick with wood - should it fail as a looting stick it can be firewood. Or an oar.

Sarah -if I fail in the Lacrosse Infiltration Plan the polo stick would be good, thanks :o.

Yeah but sarah you have a horse,you can gallop off and live like a nomad or eat the damn nag.

[whispers a top secret password in MaDuggar's ear]

I'll join you kfp. I was intending to sneak into my local TA base as part of my plan, but just walking into one with a member of the TA is much easier.

Ooh, Hassled! We have an oar!

Oooh, I have a lacrosse stick in the attic. Willing to sell to the highest bidder when the apocalypse comes as I was always bloody useless with it.

Oh no, Mrs Chemist. We won't be going anywhere near the TA base. We will be going [lowers voice to a dramatic whisper] Off Grid....

But of course you can come too.

Nomdeplume, fair enough re your common or garden Buxton but this is Evian we're talking about here.

I can sleep easy tonight now especially since reading that they are removing all teh coconuts from thetrees for Obamas visit - phew!

ah ha we have a generator and dh's gasmask from his service in the RAF-mind you we'd have to all share it

Horse is ever so slightly temperamental. He will require persuading to engage in Ninja activities. He is, however, quite large, intimidating and very fast. Which could be handy. He's 15 and very fit, I would imagine he's going to be quite tough and stringy...

MaDuggar and Mrs Chemist - I will cunningly hide the name of the court in question in a post if it looks like the Appocalypse is about to begin. Turn right through the main hall and the advocates' lounge is through the double doors on the right. There are lockers to shelter in if things get really bad.