whats the most offensive thing anyone has ever said to you?

[mummyof2girls]

i was told by my ex that i looked like a summo wresler when i was heavly pregnant and wearing a thong. what a bastard!

I'm still here love, what has triggered the melancholy?

I'm here honey

Its hard to get over things like this, its like a stamp you can cover it up and get on with life but it is always there you just have to find a way of living with it iykwim

I am, dont really know you but can listen and sympathise

I don't know, it just seems to have descended on me

I dealt with all this stuff years ago, I am "normal" now... but I just seem to be sobbing like a baby at the moment

Memories need to be aired every now and again and sometimes dealt with or looked at from a different angle

greeny - what a lot of insensitive comments made to you.
Its awful that people can behave like that.

I hope it makes you feel a little better to know that you have still, after all that, turned out to be a wonderful and fantastic mother, and that your children wont have to suffer the comments of others like you did from your mother and the school nurse.

As for the Midwife - my god i hope she has stopped midwifing (so not the correst term!) What an evil comment!

Well what I find helpful is occasionaly just giving in to it. Accept that for today you are sad and it is affecting you negatively and that it is ok because you will most likely have a better day tommorow because now you are over it iyswim.

Greeny I know how it is, you can forget and be normal for ages and then something reminds you and you get lost in feeling it. Do you want to talk more about anthing? We would all like to help. Are you in a safe place atm?

Yes days like this are horrible but we all get them unfortunatley and alot of people are very insensitive. But look at what you have achieved! Its hard especially when its a parent who treats you in this way, makes you feel you are to blame for everything which is so not true.

Greeny? are you still there?

Oh Greensleeves. I am really sorry for your memories of this. I know this is a small thing to say, but I know you are doing a fantastic job of making sure your LO doesn't ever know this sort of thing.

And you are, although I don't agree with you at times, you wouldn't be on here if it wasn't for the fact that you are a fabby Mummy. Can I send you a badge hun?

Greeny I'm going to have to go to bed as my dd1 will be jumping on me soon but if you need someone to talk to please email me (if you want to) [email protected]

I'm here 24/7 you can even call me if you need to. Thinking of you hun.x.

Hi green one. I think you should tuck yourself up in bed with a hot water bottle and cry a bit more if you want, let tears run into your ears and if you and dh are getting on let him stroke your hair and hold you unless rampant sex would be better. If you aren't getting on, ttry and relax yourself and feel as cosy as you can even if you are all overwrought. Then fall asleep and wake up tomorrow feeling a bit better. You are having a rough time worrying about your boy and other things too for all I know and that makes you remember horrible stuff in your life because your boy is so fab that you can't bear the thought of anything going the tiniest bit wrong for him because you know how wrong things can go. But the difference is when things go a tiny bit wrong for him, like they do for everyone sometimes, you will be there for him. He has a mum who has taught herself love and strength despite lots of shit being thrown at her by the very people who should have been her mainstays of support. And that absolutely sucks and is going to keep right on resonating, I think, and completely knocking you for six sometimes. But you have moved forward against many odds and feeling shit about people who could, through their horrible actions, have prevented that from happening does not change the fact that you did move on. And you will continue to do so, I know. I'm sorry you feel so raw and sad in the process though.

Now, go to bed before I put a black mark on your star chart.

God greensleeves, can't midwives and nurses be complete bitches.

I was in hospital after an ectopic pregnancy and on my second day post-op, feeling like shite, went for a shower. On my return from the (v dirty) shower room, feeling so weak and shitey, I could only just manage to walk to my bed, and dropped my towel on the floor. 5 mins later, the nurse on the ward came up to me, picking the towel up and said

'who do you think I am...your bloody slave...'

I burst into floods of tears. Normally would have stood up for myself. But after the emotional strain of an ectopic pregnancy plus the physical weakness.

I know nurses are under a great strain, and most of them were complete angels. But still - you are not forgotten, horrid lady.

On a warmer, cosier note...horrid to finish up with ugly thoughts.

A big goodnight hug to all - tomorrow will be a fab day - I just know it. It's Friday, anyway - already, yikes!!

fwiw greeny (and it might not be much) I don;t think hurt ever goes away. none of us can change things that were said and done in the past. what we can do though is choose to be in control of our lives, despite what others have done. and when we do that we start to realise that its us that matters. it's my life I'm in the middle of and I can banish this shit (and shitty people) to the periphery and keep me and the people I care about bang slap in the middle. from what I know of you (you always seem so confident and upbeat, if it's possible to tell that on an internet forum...) I would hazard a guess that most of the time this is what you;ve done. but every now and again the hurt comes back to take centre stage, just for a wee while. that's completely normal. sit with it for a while, then boot it away again. I hope you're feeling ok. And I hope my inane ramblings - which are my way of dealing with/rationalising hurt - might make a bit of sense. if they don;t feel free to call me ridiculous, tell me I don;t know my arse from my elbow, hell, report me if you like take care

When I was 17 and in love for the first time, my boyfriend's father said to him "As you're intending to go to university, shouldn't you be aiming a bit higher than someone who comes from where she does?" I was devastated and have never forgotten the injustice of it. Thank goodness that there are so many much nicer people in the world than that silly man. I got better grades than his son and went on to university and I often wish I could have met him again when I was older and told him to get stuffed. He made me feel so awful.

When I came out of hospital after having my ds2 my bil said to me 'you know, with your hair all over the place like that and the way your sitting you look like that woman off eastenders, that haggard one, Rosie' [The one married to Keith]
He just randomly came out with it when we were sitting watching television.

Tactless fecker

Also i once commented that my uncles new girlfriend looked like a lesbian. My gran said 'takes one to know one'

Suppose i deserved that one though

last summer my ex got v drunk, gathered all the children and myself into one room and informed them that i was a lying cnt who only got rid of him do i could fck 25 yr old men in the bed he built....

lou33 !

i know

Lou33, you dont look 40

Greensleeves..I hop you're feeling okay today?

aw thanks, i look older irl

the repersussions of his comments have been not so nice, dd1 uses it against me when she is angry now, she called me a tart the other day. She is almost 15