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I live on a traveller site AMA

313 replies

namechange2026198 · 21/08/2026 13:49

Well exactly that really got a spare bit of time and I know with some of the recent ridiculous tv shows I thought I’d see if I could answer a few myths and questions. I will say my partner is a traveller I am not but am married into the community which in itself is rare

OP posts:
SaffronsMadAboutMe · 21/08/2026 16:19

bitontheobtuse · 21/08/2026 16:16

But would you go out of your way to say so on a thread started by someone from a different community?

Well I certainly would because why on earth not? 😳

Please don't just others by your own seemingly very easily taken offence.

Meanwhile most of us are perfectly happy to have adult conversations without taking any at all.

namechange2026198 · 21/08/2026 16:19

Sorry not ignoring will reply now

OP posts:
diddl · 21/08/2026 16:23

Why/how was it decided that you would live in his culture and not him in yours?

Viviennemary · 21/08/2026 16:23

Do you have to live in quite a small space., If so is it hard to fit in everything you need. Or ard you just ruthless about not keeping stuff.

Carouseloflife · 21/08/2026 16:24

When I worked at school a few years ago we had travellers children in school and their families always gave lots of support to the church and school, do you and your family do the same?
I always loved working with the children, always well behaved and helpful in class.

Monty36 · 21/08/2026 16:25

How much violence do you see ?

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 21/08/2026 16:26

bitontheobtuse · 21/08/2026 16:05

@Theworldsgonemadagain Would you feel it was appropriate to talk about, say, the Sikh community or Hasidic Jews in the same way, by saying you can tell they are a Sikh or a Jew a mile off?

No, you damn well wouldn't.

Your examples were ridiculous.

Of course you could tell a Sikh and a Hasidic Jew just from looking at them!

idontknowhowtodreamyourdreams · 21/08/2026 16:29

Is there homophobia in the community? How are young gay people treated?

PensionPTake · 21/08/2026 16:29

Do the men and boys do any housework and childcare?

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 21/08/2026 16:30

PensionPTake · 21/08/2026 16:29

Do the men and boys do any housework and childcare?

😂😂😂😂 Oh, my sides!

namechange2026198 · 21/08/2026 16:30

EwwStew · 21/08/2026 15:38

I would also ask if op really believes their experiences are very representative of the average woman living in this situation?

It sounds like it isn't really, what with all these 'unheard' of things happening.

I would have been so disappointed in a well brought up, educated daughter who chose this subjugated lifestyle for herself and her daughters.

What a waste.

I did this thread to answer some questions but my god sweet you’ve actually also helped with your answers I’d be shamed if I was your daughter?? 1 is at uni no it isn’t normal but we support her. My other babies live with us and are proud of their family and have support surrounding them. I am normally very relaxed but actually you’ve been very rude I won’t respond more

OP posts:
namechange2026198 · 21/08/2026 16:32

PensionPTake · 21/08/2026 16:29

Do the men and boys do any housework and childcare?

Yes actually they do

OP posts:
PointedFirs · 21/08/2026 16:32

What was your own settled upbringing like, OP? What I’m wondering is why did you, at eighteen, marry into a community in which, by your own account, you
live in cramped conditions, in which women have fewer rights than men, where you had to insist your children got a school education, where it’s ’unheard of’ for a girl to attend university, where you having a PT job is unusual, and your husband conceals from his family the extent to which he consults you on (some) household decisions, and in which you experienced prejudice?

UhOhRatPoo · 21/08/2026 16:34

bitontheobtuse · 21/08/2026 16:05

@Theworldsgonemadagain Would you feel it was appropriate to talk about, say, the Sikh community or Hasidic Jews in the same way, by saying you can tell they are a Sikh or a Jew a mile off?

No, you damn well wouldn't.

Of course you would. There is nothing controversial about being able to identify someone’s religion from their clothing!

EwwStew · 21/08/2026 16:34

namechange2026198 · 21/08/2026 16:30

I did this thread to answer some questions but my god sweet you’ve actually also helped with your answers I’d be shamed if I was your daughter?? 1 is at uni no it isn’t normal but we support her. My other babies live with us and are proud of their family and have support surrounding them. I am normally very relaxed but actually you’ve been very rude I won’t respond more

I'm sorry, if I could decipher what you've just said I would respond.

eclipsed · 21/08/2026 16:35

Were your children allowed to have friends from school (or elsewhere outside the community) visit/play? Or are you allowed to have friends from work over for a coffee or something?

What would you or your husband do or say if your child who is at university met a boyfriend/girlfriend from outside the traveller community? Do you think he or she will return to live on the same site as you after graduating? Or do you think they would find a graduate job in say London and live in a flat or house?

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 21/08/2026 16:35

I do agree with a lot of what @EwwStewsaid.

The attitude towards girls/women feels very repressive to me.

Schooling, and regular employment really shouldn’t be ‘unheard of’.
Whatever for?
Those things are wonderful for girls and women. It gives them options in life.

Elsvieta · 21/08/2026 16:37

So you don't have any financial independence, pension etc? Aren't you worried about that? What's the plan for if you divorce or are widowed?

How many children do you have?

namechange2026198 · 21/08/2026 16:39

Yes I worry think about widow but no I do t divorce at all I have children yes

OP posts:
Manonhere · 21/08/2026 16:44

Do you like dogs?

HollyhocksandPeons · 21/08/2026 16:44

SaffronsMadAboutMe · 21/08/2026 13:56

You say you're married, so is your partner your husband or wife?

Aye, right, a man (husband) is accepted into the traveller community.... That would be right...

Theworldsgonemadagain · 21/08/2026 16:48

bitontheobtuse · 21/08/2026 16:05

@Theworldsgonemadagain Would you feel it was appropriate to talk about, say, the Sikh community or Hasidic Jews in the same way, by saying you can tell they are a Sikh or a Jew a mile off?

No, you damn well wouldn't.

Absolutely I would! It's pretty bloody obvious what an orthodox Jew looks like an Armish, a Muslim if wearing a Burkha it's stating a bloody fact. They prob say the same of our white English kids by the boys all having the same haircut and the girls small denim shorts and vest tops.

SaffronsMadAboutMe · 21/08/2026 16:50

namechange2026198 · 21/08/2026 16:39

Yes I worry think about widow but no I do t divorce at all I have children yes

Well you really need to sort this quickly.

My husband was apparently fit and healthy in January, then in February he was diagnosed with cancer and he died just 4 months later aged in his 50s.

Please don't ever think it may never happen or that it's unlikely to happen.

He needs to make a will and you both need to make sure you'd be able to survive without him.

Beaconsfire · 21/08/2026 16:52

Is your site just Romany or is it mixed Romany folk & Irish Travellers?

What happens if a kid loses their parents or the parents can't look after them? Does a relative almost always step in and get kinship care, or do some kids end up in LA care?

Did your kids get any flak from their peers (cousins and friends etc) for carrying on with formal education? Flak might be a big word. But social difficulties because their day to day life is different.

Dumbledora8 · 21/08/2026 16:56

EwwStew · 21/08/2026 16:34

I'm sorry, if I could decipher what you've just said I would respond.

Edited

You sound like an absolute delight!