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AMA

I live on a traveller site AMA

220 replies

namechange2026198 · Today 13:49

Well exactly that really got a spare bit of time and I know with some of the recent ridiculous tv shows I thought I’d see if I could answer a few myths and questions. I will say my partner is a traveller I am not but am married into the community which in itself is rare

OP posts:
EwwStew · Today 15:38

SaffronsMadAboutMe · Today 14:49

I don't understand this really.

You have a job = Unheard of

Your kids went to school = Unheard of

Your married daughter works = Unheard of

So with all these 'unheard of things' happing before his family's eyes, why does he choose not to tell them that you two sometimes compromise?

Is compromising with his wife really the secret he feels he needs to keep?

I would also ask if op really believes their experiences are very representative of the average woman living in this situation?

It sounds like it isn't really, what with all these 'unheard' of things happening.

I would have been so disappointed in a well brought up, educated daughter who chose this subjugated lifestyle for herself and her daughters.

What a waste.

Therescathairinmybath · Today 15:39

Would your husband’s family be understanding if one of your children or their cousins was gay or lesbian?

viques · Today 15:39

namechange2026198 · Today 14:56

That bit is very much true we spend a lot of time cleaning but if you live in somewhere very little you need to a bit… although again these shows do go a little OTT

Why are traveller homes so clean but the illegal sites they squat on left so revoltingly filthy? And please don’t say it’s because the council won’t collect rubbish, there is nothing to stop people carrying rubbish to put in a public bin, picking up their dogs shit, or even making sure all the rubbish is left in one place not strewn across public parks and recreation grounds with heaps of broken glass, broken toys, abandoned belongings and dog shit. I think travellers make their own bad press by behaving in such an anti social way, do you agree, and if so why do they do it?

namechange2026198 · Today 15:40

U53rName · Today 15:35

Do you ban the use of the loo on your caravan?

lol no despite what channel 4 will have people believe I’m nearing 40 and need to pee so absolutely flipping not. It is such a misconception so you don’t have a toilet off a kitchen (which tbf in a house would usually be normal) but it’s been made as you wouldn’t have one o

OP posts:
Upyermonkey · Today 15:41

Do you call yourselves Romany Travellers then? I always thought that Romany were Romany Gypsies and Travellers were Irish Travellers.
Has the way you self describe changed?
Do Irish Travellers live on your site too or are you all Romany?
Thank You.

U53rName · Today 15:41

namechange2026198 · Today 15:40

lol no despite what channel 4 will have people believe I’m nearing 40 and need to pee so absolutely flipping not. It is such a misconception so you don’t have a toilet off a kitchen (which tbf in a house would usually be normal) but it’s been made as you wouldn’t have one o

What about poos? Are you allowed those in your caravan too?

viques · Today 15:42

namechange2026198 · Today 14:59

I said I don’t know the outgoings for the home

Why not? you said you do the books for your husbands business so why aren’t you also involved in knowing the outgoings of your home?

namechange2026198 · Today 15:45

Samewrinklesnewname · Today 15:36

Interesting thread-thanks for opening up!

Do you think there will ever be a day when you’ll live in a house?

No I can’t imagine a time we ever would, selfishly I’d miss my in laws too much

OP posts:
Vroomfondleswaistcoat · Today 15:45

EwwStew · Today 15:38

I would also ask if op really believes their experiences are very representative of the average woman living in this situation?

It sounds like it isn't really, what with all these 'unheard' of things happening.

I would have been so disappointed in a well brought up, educated daughter who chose this subjugated lifestyle for herself and her daughters.

What a waste.

Well I guess that OP can only answer from her own experiences, even if those are atypical.

Very interesting thread, OP, thank you.

liveforsummer · Today 15:51

viques · Today 15:39

Why are traveller homes so clean but the illegal sites they squat on left so revoltingly filthy? And please don’t say it’s because the council won’t collect rubbish, there is nothing to stop people carrying rubbish to put in a public bin, picking up their dogs shit, or even making sure all the rubbish is left in one place not strewn across public parks and recreation grounds with heaps of broken glass, broken toys, abandoned belongings and dog shit. I think travellers make their own bad press by behaving in such an anti social way, do you agree, and if so why do they do it?

I wonder the same. There is a current site near us and it is absolutely disgusting and they are still in situ. Why the price inside while outside looks like an actual rubbish tip?! Having said that it would make sense for the council to make an arrangement to collect as they are inevitably the ones who have to deal with it in the end anyway. As you said though there are other options and no need for much of the destruction. Every single time I visit the shops in the area the children from the site are running wild, terrorising the staff and stealing. Watched a group around 8-9 years old steal vapes from the petrol station the other day and sit and puff them just the other side of the road. They are also causing property damage in the area and assaulting local children. TBH it’s changed my opinion as I was always under the impression they were a proud group of people and my opinion has been changed witnessing the reality!

bitontheobtuse · Today 15:51

namechange2026198 · Today 15:35

It’s been bloody awful lol this has been a time I miss a house I felt a bit like a sardine in a tin when it was really hot

Oh dear - I did wonder! We stayed in a holiday caravan during a boiling hot week one year, so you have my total sympathy on that one!!

Theworldsgonemadagain · Today 15:53
  1. Did you dress your daughter's up in frilly clothes? You can tell a gyspy a mile off the men all wear Hugo boss or Ralph Lauren with large logos, the women dress like they are going to ascot with heavy makeup as do the young girls who dress way older than their age.
2 Are boys encouraged to fight?
TheGander · Today 16:03

@Theworldsgonemadagain and @namechange2026198 i wonder if there’s a difference between the ways Romany gypsies dress and Irish travellers dress? Not sure why but I’d expect true Romany women to be more modest. I’ve certainly seen Irish traveller women with quite extravagant make up and body hugging clothing. The ( admittedly older) gypsy women I used to see around east Kent tended to wear long skirts, no make up, and hair tied back.

Pplareasthickasshit · Today 16:05

namechange2026198 · Today 14:52

It’s not unheard of though and this is half the problem… people watch these stupid programs or hear a few articles and think that must be normal that’s why I did it was so people saw reality

People don't just watch stupid programmes though. They see it with their own eyes. The littering and the cruelty to animals, particularly horses, disgusts me, as does the attitude towards women and girls.

bitontheobtuse · Today 16:05

Theworldsgonemadagain · Today 15:53

  1. Did you dress your daughter's up in frilly clothes? You can tell a gyspy a mile off the men all wear Hugo boss or Ralph Lauren with large logos, the women dress like they are going to ascot with heavy makeup as do the young girls who dress way older than their age.
2 Are boys encouraged to fight?

@Theworldsgonemadagain Would you feel it was appropriate to talk about, say, the Sikh community or Hasidic Jews in the same way, by saying you can tell they are a Sikh or a Jew a mile off?

No, you damn well wouldn't.

NeelyOHara · Today 16:07

bitontheobtuse · Today 16:05

@Theworldsgonemadagain Would you feel it was appropriate to talk about, say, the Sikh community or Hasidic Jews in the same way, by saying you can tell they are a Sikh or a Jew a mile off?

No, you damn well wouldn't.

But it’s true?

GoodGraciousGeorgie · Today 16:09

What's with all the litter and mess? A group of travellers came to visit someone from their community in the hospital I work in recently and the litter and mess they left behind where they had all been sitting was atrocious!

Zippedydoobaah · Today 16:12

bitontheobtuse · Today 16:05

@Theworldsgonemadagain Would you feel it was appropriate to talk about, say, the Sikh community or Hasidic Jews in the same way, by saying you can tell they are a Sikh or a Jew a mile off?

No, you damn well wouldn't.

Travellers themselves say you can spot a fellow Traveller in a crowd. They have a distinctive style which appears to be quite conformist. No idea about Romany gypsies though (who aren't Travellers).
And you absolutely can tell a practising Hasidic Jew or Sikh a mile away due to their dress code. There is nothing offensive about that, it's a fact.

SaffronsMadAboutMe · Today 16:12

bitontheobtuse · Today 16:05

@Theworldsgonemadagain Would you feel it was appropriate to talk about, say, the Sikh community or Hasidic Jews in the same way, by saying you can tell they are a Sikh or a Jew a mile off?

No, you damn well wouldn't.

I don't understand this?

If you could identify them by their clothing, then of course you would? 😳

Maralb · Today 16:13

What's your view on travellers forcing entry to land and then refusing to leave resulting in huge costs for the landowners?

BunnyLake · Today 16:13

bitontheobtuse · Today 16:05

@Theworldsgonemadagain Would you feel it was appropriate to talk about, say, the Sikh community or Hasidic Jews in the same way, by saying you can tell they are a Sikh or a Jew a mile off?

No, you damn well wouldn't.

Well you could tell a Sikh man a mile away as they wear turbans don’t they? You can also spot an Hasidic Jew a mile away too.

Zippedydoobaah · Today 16:14

@namechange2026198 do you live in a large static caravan or a touring one? I see ones on tictoc living in touring trailers with several kids and think the smell must be horrendous every morning with morning breath and farts. Also I wonder how the parents are intimate without the caravan literally rocking!

bitontheobtuse · Today 16:16

NeelyOHara · Today 16:07

But it’s true?

But would you go out of your way to say so on a thread started by someone from a different community?

NeelyOHara · Today 16:17

bitontheobtuse · Today 16:16

But would you go out of your way to say so on a thread started by someone from a different community?

I mean, it’s called Ask Me Anythjng isn’t it?

ExOptimist · Today 16:18

How do the family finances work? You do the books so know how much is coming in, but say you don't know the outgoings.

Do you have a bank account? Is there a joint account? Who does the shopping and how is it paid for? If your husband controls the outgoings do you have to ask for money for groceries, school uniforms etc?