I live on a traveller site AMA

[namechange2026198]

Well exactly that really got a spare bit of time and I know with some of the recent ridiculous tv shows I thought I’d see if I could answer a few myths and questions. I will say my partner is a traveller I am not but am married into the community which in itself is rare

I don’t think he’d ever have managed living in a house and I’m not totally sure I could now. There are SO many negatives which are often portrayed but we also have a lot of positives my female in laws are my best friends because we have each other to rely on in a way that someone who only sees them a few times a year might not. My children grew up with 20+cousins their age well ish. But I am realistic and it isn’t for everyone. Money wise we do well I guess I don’t know totally because I don’t really deal with the money. I am a bit of a rarity in that I work a few days a week in the local farm shop which isn’t allowed usually but my husband never asks me where it goes and is happy for me to do it

Does your dh work, legit?

Is your partner Irish Traveller or English Romany? Do both ethnicities live on your site?

What was your own upbringing like OP?

And were your parents disappointed you chose to marry a man who believes he is superior to women?

Very interesting thread!
what is the reaction to domestic violence on the site? The small amount of men I’ve met from the travelling community have been openly violent towards their wives, this however was a long time ago, maybe 20 years or longer. Is it still acceptable or has that improved for women?

Why do you want to live in a community where you have no rights?

Why is it like this? It sounds unfair. Traditionally women had to obey but settled society has moved on, why can't Travellers do likewise?

'I can’t say bills wise how it’s split as my husband deals with that'- I can't see an issue with splitting tasks but would you be able to handle these things for yourself if something bad happened and you ended up alone? I think it's good to be able to do so.

No it has massively improved I can’t be too outing but on the site we are on it would be a very brave man who was physically violent to his Mrs (I am not stupid enough though that it still goes on but it does in all communities) I think it is very outdated and again not helped but these programs that mention grabbing and abuse. I had a lovely upbringing and I guess when we got together I never saw it as marrying a traveller just that we met. Yes I have daughters and whilst I don’t agree with some of the morals some I think could actually be ones we should be doing better

Do you feel vulnerable having no financial control over your life?

Is the married one married to a traveller? If so, is she allowed to work?

Yes I could manage it although I’m sure others couldn’t because I have a non traveler family who could help me with that but I know that’s not the norm

I had a lovely upbringing and I guess when we got together I never saw it as marrying a traveller just that we met.

You've married man who believes he is superior to women though.

How does that sit with your parents?

Does your mother get on ok with him and sisters if you have any?

she Is allowed to work and works with me, although it isn’t usually the done thing it isn’t true that women aren’t allowed to work

Is domestic violence a common occurrence? Does the community intervene to support the victim?

What does your husband do for a living?

They do, it took a while for them to get used to it but he will do anything for my family. Family is a large part of the community. I am allowed an opinion it is just that it is largely reliant on his income and his choices… surely in same way some housewife can just up and move house or make a big purchase unless her husband can cover it?

I don't understand this really.

You have a job = Unheard of

Your kids went to school = Unheard of

Your married daughter works = Unheard of

So with all these 'unheard of things' happing before his family's eyes, why does he choose not to tell them that you two sometimes compromise?

Is compromising with his wife really the secret he feels he needs to keep?

He is a builder, I do his books (admittedly he def couldn’t do it) but I’m always proud to say we do it legit

It’s not unheard of though and this is half the problem… people watch these stupid programs or hear a few articles and think that must be normal that’s why I did it was so people saw reality

It's the cleaning I find hard to imagine. I've heard travellors are incredibly clean in their homes and frankly, I'm a slob. HOW do you stay on top of the cleaning? How much time every day do you spend cleaning?

That bit is very much true we spend a lot of time cleaning but if you live in somewhere very little you need to a bit… although again these shows do go a little OTT

So you do his books, but say you don't know anything about the household money. How does that work?

Thanks for giving us this informative thread! I am interested in what you say about the TV shows. Do you watch them? Do your relatives and neighbours? What do they think in terms of how traveller culture is represented? Is it better that not being represented at all? Is there any positives? It seems mainly women who are the stars of these shows and I know on social media some non traveller women love to follow them. For instance, Tyson Fury one, everything is glamorous and I could only dream of getting my house so clean!

I said I don’t know the outgoings for the home