Is there an AMA American thread?

[upskilledotter]

I have so many (probably really boring) questions to ask of Americans (USA) but don’t know if a suitable thread exists.

Thanks all. @AngleofRepose I think the new build estates in UK often have a management fee these days, don't they?

Its funny how often the residents association is a feature in TV shows. I seem to remember it being a thing in Only Murders in the Building, and maybe The Good Wife and Friends. Long time since I've lived in a flat but only ever rented one. Never bought one.

There are also places that are neither condos or co-ops. DS and DIL own a unit in a 4 -plex, so 4 units in each building. There are 52 buildings in their development. Should they want to, they can sell to whomever they like but renting requires notice to the HOA. Because the development is private, the HOA (HomeOwner's Association) which mows the grass, keeps the buildings painted, manages the pool on the property and so on. We live in a college town so, in the 70s, the development was marketed to the parents of students who were moving out of the dormitories (what you call "halls", yes?) because there weren't enough for all the students.

MissConductUS explained the term "downtown" for big cities, but I'll give an example from the modest urban area in which I grew up. There was a city of about 150,000 people, an adjacent smaller city of about 50,000, and several small towns, most of which had started out as farming communities but were evolving into suburbs. At the center of the larger city was the state capitol building, surrounded by grassy lawns. On a few adjacent streets, on each side, were office buildings associated with the state government, several large banks, a large hotel, and a few streets full of restaurants, bakeries, and fun little shops. One of these streets was pedestrianized. The community college was also nearby. This was "downtown," because it was the hub of the city, and it was walkable. Other parts of the city, comprising residential neighborhoods, shopping malls, factories, and the airport, were designed mainly for cars.

The adjacent smaller city centered around a large university. Along one side of campus ran a long street lined with restaurants, cafes, bookstores, drugstores, bars, etc. The business area stretched a block or two deep, and we also called this "downtown" because it was a convenient, walkable shopping area. Beyond that was a large residential neighborhood, and then a high-speed road that was also lined with businesses, but was designed only for driving, not walking.

The origin of the term "downtown" is murky. It may come from Boston, where the city center is situated in a basin, surrounded by hills. Or it may come from New York, where the city center lies south of the big residential neighborhoods and so is "down" on a map. The Boston origin is probably more likely.

I was going to mention Boston, because we used to spend a lot of time just outside, where my grandparents lived, before we moved away. Although my grandparents lived in a fairly sizable town, with a town center, Town was always Boston. And, specifically, only the oldest parts, so the North End, Beacon Hill, the Financial District, parts of Comm Ave., Back Bay. All very walkable, in a small area, packed in.

So it wasn't the city, it was Town. Like London (including the City) was "Town" in all those 18th and 19thC novels.

But, in Boston, "downtown" was only what is now called the Financial District (some people called it that in the 60s and 70s, but most people just said "downtown") and Downtown Crossing, where there were a couple of department stores.

So, to me "downtown" is the financial area, walkable, where everyone worked and shopped. I guess it can mean different things for different people.

Yes, charging fees for "maintenance" has become a thing for new builds. If the government ever gets around to finally scrapping leaseholds and ground rents, I predict that it will all become "share of freehold" and management charges for flats and maisonettes. They'll get their money somehow!

Ah, New York (Manhattan) was always The City for us, and within New York downtown was the artsy part, as opposed to uptown which was more establishment.

Downtown in Chicago is often called The Loop, meaning the central business/ shopping/ legal/ hotel/ government- admin blocks whose borders are the elevated L tracks, which form a squareish loop. There are other commercial and mixed commercial/ residential areas bordering the Loop - River North, South Loop, West Loop...

I think condo ownership is closest to share of freehold. It's the equivalent of strata title in Australia. There's no equivalent of leasehold in the US. It should also be mentioned that the tradeoff for co-ops (which are most common in NYC) is that they can be cheaper. Depending on location and conditions, the difference can be significant. Newer buildings tend to be condo ownership.

new townhouses (attached homes) can also be owned as condominiums, with the association responsible for exterior maintenance, and sometimes additional amenities.

@upskilledotter, I have a question for you...I will preface this by saying, although I am a British citizen, and lived in London for several years I didnt grow up in the British culture.
In my culture and US, when you get a wedding invite its for the full event-ceremony, reception so forth.
I noticed in the UK there seems to be separate invites for the ceremony/reception and then evening guests. I've never come across this before outside of the UK, what's the reasoning behind it? Is it financial? A team vs B team? I would find it very strange and probably wouldn't attend an evening only knowing others have attended all day.

I can answer this one, although @upskilledotter may have a different take on it. It often comes down to finances. Weddings are expensive and people aren’t always prepared to pay £80 a head or whatever it coats these days for a full sit down meal for auntie Mabel, who they haven’t seen for 30 years, or Janet down the road who pops in for a cuppa occasionally but isn’t really a close friend. So the main ceremony and meal is for those family and friends closest to the bride and groom and the evening buffet and disco is offered out to others who they may be fond of and who may wish to celebrate with them but they’re not so close to - other family members, colleagues, neighbours, acquaintances etc.

To be honest I have no problem going to an evening only event. I’m not massively fond of weddings and they can be boring as fuck if you’re stuck there all day, especially if you don’t know many others there. So rock up at 7pm, congratulate the happy couple, have a drink, check out the buffet, bit of a boogie, home
by 10 😆

I’ve always wanted to know why so many American homes seem to have the master bedroom on the ground floor with the living spaces and the kitchen with the other bedrooms being upstairs. It seems so odd!

Thank you @SilverPink
I wondered if it was financial but it seemd to be standard on most wedding related posts i've seen. My DH and I paid for our wedding, we worked out a budget/ # of guests and went from there. Maybe because its popular people aren't bothered but I would be...if we're not close enough for the main event don't invite me to the night.
I've also noticed UK weddings seem to be a whole day event. We got married at 5:30pm, reception started at 6pm, venue closed at 11pm. We had a little after party for those wanting to continue.

Thats the layout of our house. Love it!
Great if anyone cant use stairs for any reason, injury or when parents come to stay. Separation for when guests stay over. I also have my office upstairs so it gives me separation from work/day to day living.

@QueenMabby I haven't seen many houses like that. Most homes with more than one floor have the living room, dining room, kitchen, often laundry room, powder room (a toilet and sink for guests) on the ground floor. There may be an office or a guest room/primary bedroom if the footprint is large enough, along with a garage. The next floor up which we would call the second floor would likely have bedrooms, bathrooms, maybe a playroom for DC, maybe an office, again depending how large the house is.

Weddings can cost a lot in the US too, but generally speaking, there is one reception to which everyone is invited. There is no separate B list "do." But the reception doesn't necessarily have to be a sit down dinner, and there is a lot of variety in types of receptions, depending on the budget.

There is usually a rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding and that tends to be a smaller guest list.

I would say that almost all new builds near me have the main bedroom on the first (ground) floor. But I live in an area popular with downsizing empty nesters who hope to age in place, so it makes sense.

@SilverPink probably articulated it better than I could @ModernV

In the end I think it’s down to finances and for some folks a need to “show off” whilst minding purse strings.

I have been to weddings with 4, 40 and 400 guests and each has been unique.

There is a lot of pressure to invite distant relatives, friends, work colleagues etc and although an open bar is an option the length of some weddings (11am to 2am) means an open bar can be prohibitive.

An easy option can be evening only invites although the reason for those may not necessarily be financial (most ceremonies and subsequent photos, signings can be very dull affairs) Alsi some venues can be space limited such as registry offices and special venues.

Main floor primary bedroom has been an option for a while for two reasons: separation from the kids and being able to age in place. You'll also see layouts with a main floor guest room.

my area doesn't have tons of new construction, but I see both designs when they do. It also depends on lot size and layout; you need a bigger footprint for a main floor primary bedroom.

Something else different about UK and US weddings: In England at least (can't remember Scottish law) wedding ceremonies must be daytime. In parts of the US, evening weddings are common. Ceremony is around sunset and then the reception follows right after. In general US wedding laws are much more relaxed (and better, it's much easier to get an officiant, anything can be a venue, much shorter waiting times, and much easier for non-Christian religious ceremonies to be legally recognised as you don't need a registrar. We lived in Pennsylvania for a while and there, thanks to the Quakers, there's a type of marriage licence that requires no officiant at all, just two witnesses.)

Some Jewish weddings have separate invites, usually Orthodox ones where people want to invite the community or distant relatives for dancing and they have literally 95 cousins each because of big families.

In parts of the US, evening weddings are common. Ceremony is around sunset and then the reception follows right after.

This is very true in the Deep South, a holdover from the days of no air conditioning. I'm headed to a cousin's wedding next month in South Carolina; the ceremony starts at 5:00 p.m., reception to follow, which will probably be over by 10:00 p.m. or so.