Is there an AMA American thread?

[upskilledotter]

I have so many (probably really boring) questions to ask of Americans (USA) but don’t know if a suitable thread exists.

I'm not American but my DH is and I lived in the US for 15 years. Happy to answer any questions you have.

I'm American. There's loads of us here! Ask away and let's see what happens :)

The problem is the US is so huge that people from different regions will give very different answers.

Same!

Ah great thanks … I seem to have loads of random questions that pop up - probably after watching US tv series or films. I find America and the diversity of areas and opinions fascinating.

Anyway I’ll start with a few questions if that’s OK and would welcome others too!

1. What does a homecoming queen mean and what do they do? Does everyone want to be one or is it a “type”
2. How can you tell if a house or neighbourhood on a to show for example is in a good or bad area? To me all the houses look spacious and with outdoor space
3. Do most Americans go to church or is that a myth? I watch documentaries or shows where the emphasis is on religious support or prayer before meals etc - is this widespread?

I have heaps more questions but these are first ones to spring to mind!

Thanks

Is it just in films or certain states but do lots of neighbourhoods have those houses without a fence etc so you can walk into someone’s back garden from the front?

I’d have a question too! How common is it to drink and drive? Every book I read set in the US has at least one character visiting a bar, friend, party, having a few drinks and then driving home.

Great questions :) This is what I'd say, for context I've lived mostly in East Coast big cities (northeast of the US) though I've lived in the UK a long time now.

We don't really do homecoming where I've lived so I also wonder about that!

Big houses are usually but not always in nice areas. If an area turns bad the houses usually get carved up into rooms or flats. Bad areas tend to have lots of crime, drugs and guns.

Religion is definitely regional. I grew up in areas that were culturally Catholic but not very religious. First and second generation Americans tend to be more religious. But then in parts of the country like the Bible Belt most people are religious. The evangelical vote is unfortunately very strong in the US.

I'm not sure about the fences and drunk driving as that's less of a city thing. We'd just get cabs or public transport after drinking. But yes I think otherwise it's fairly common maybe?

I really like when people are curious about the US :) It's kind of a weird place to be from.

Is high school really like how it is depicted on TV?

I can answer #3, I live in part of the so called Bible belt so yes, most people around us go to church on Sunday. I don't but that doesn't seem to be an issue, we're not ostracized in our community or anything like that. We also dont have trading hours around church, everything is opened as usual. Restaurants are usually packed after church.
As to saying prayers before meals, I expect most do. My DH family will on certain occasions but not every day.

I live in the south, very common here and I found it very surprising. I couldn't tell you why, maybe because we have a lot of green/open space. When i lived in surbubia California, everyone had a fence.
We built a backyard fence for our dogs, front is open. We're pretty relaxed on boundaries ie, my neighbors probably mow part of our lawn/vice versa, no problem with that.

NC because I find this site to be hostile against Americans most of the time.

But to assist you:

1. They represent their senior class (year, not individual class) in academics etc. When I was growing up, they were involved in many extracurricular activities i.e. volunteering, fundraising, cheerleading etc. I can't speak on everyone's behalf re: if everyone wanted to be one. I didn't. So, I guess at least one of us didn't want to
2. Same as the UK, IMO. People maintain their homes to a good standard, there aren't bars on the windows or graffiti. There are children playing outside etc. I have lived in very poor and very rich areas. The list is vast.
3. Where I'm from, Americans are 'religious' in that they believe in Jesus Christ. We are happy with this being part of our culture. We pray before we eat, we pray for one another, we go to church.

Homecoming Queen - In the fall, lots of high schools have a designated football game which is 'homecoming' and alums are encouraged to attend that night's game. Sometimes the week preceding this is 'spirit week' and students are encouraged to do something each day (e.g. pyjama day, hat & shades day, school colors day) of the week to show their support for their school. To celebrate homecoming, the current students will elect a king and queen, usually seniors in their last year at the school. It is mainly a popularity contest so the kinds of people who want that kind of attention will put themselves forward or be nominated by their friends. Nominees with substandard grades will not be allowed to run. Often the homecoming king & queen will be sporty types, as compared to prom king and queen.
And a lot of high school really is like the movies.

TV Houses - Just like in other countries, houses in nice areas are well maintained, have well kept lawns/yards and newer cars parked near them. In general, there is less anxiety about land and many yards don't have fences. Fences are more common in cities, especially on streets with lots of foot traffic.
A stout fence is often a sign that the family has a dog and can be a sign that the house is in a rough area.

Church - Religious freedom is considered an essential part of being an of American. Lots of Americans also go to church (or temple or synagogue or mosque) for social reasons. It's a place to meet like minded people. If you move to a new place and you want to meet people, church (or similar) is a good place to do it.
Lots of families say grace or a blessing before starting a meal together. If there are guests, one of them might be asked to say the blessing as a gesture of honor/respect.

Drinking & Driving - Most people are ok to drive after 1 or 2 weak drinks, just like in the UK.

Perceptions about regular church/religious services attendance in the US is often wrong both in the US and outside it. It's actually around 30 percent, and many experts think this is overstated.

https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2025/02/26/religious-attendance-and-congregational-involvement/

I live in the Deep South in the heart of the Bible Belt (and have most of my life) and of my friends, family, and acquaintances, I would say about a fourth of them attend church regularly, another few sporadically, and at least one half not at all. This anecdotal evidence agrees generally with current data based on polling about church attendance in the Bible Belt.

However, it is true that religion plays a much larger role in private and public life in the US generally than it does in the UK (I'm American, but have lived in the UK).

Thank you all so much - really insightful and helpful. Hopefully this want become a negative thread - and people feel free to ask questions. I appreciate everyone taking the time to do so.

Can I ask a few more?

1. Is it common (as in fairly normal) to drink milk with dinner?
2. Are there tradespeople or services where you aren’t expected to tip?
3. Which area or state would you say was “most American”?
4. Are school meals expensive or are there any free meals as in UK?
5. What would Americans consider a reasonable commute ( time and distance wise)?

Thanks!!

Oh and is it normal to get a school bus to school?

And to the Americans who are here what do you think is the best landmark/place to visit?

@tarheelbabyActually I remember fences & gates were normal in the parts of LA I visited.

How hard do people really work? I work for a US company and they all seem like workaholic robots. In the office at 7 and work weekends. Surely they're sloping off pretty early?

@ModernVI just find the idea that someone can walk up to your back door or peek in all your windows a little disconcerting

I lived in Edinburgh, and it remains my favorite place in the UK.

I was really suprised when on a road trip in the Deep South we would be driving down the back roads in the middle of nowhere hardly any houses around. Driving past a church, and the car park would be packed, 5 minutes further on, another church same again, car park rammed full. These were not particularly small churches either, we were like 'Where do all these people come from?'
I have several friends in different states California, Texas,Georgia and New York, and the church is an important part of their lives. I went with my Georgian friend to a service, and quite enjoyed it, (I am not a church goer at home)

@CarolinaInTheMorning Sorry, I phrased that really badly! I meant in America

Oh sorry. 😃

That's a hard one. Having grown up in the rural South, I enjoy traveling to cities in the Northeast, particularly Philadelphia and Boston. Closer to home, my favorites would be Savannah, Charleston, and the barrier islands of Georgia.

My husband is from Western New York State. That is a lovely part of the country that is often overlooked by visitors. It's beautiful, with a lot of small well-kept towns and villages.

I would love to see more of the US, there is so much to see

Answers I have to give often to my British friends: there is no equivalent of GCSEs and A Levels. Instead, students sit a board exam in the equivalent of the first or second term of the second year of A Levels and sometimes during the summer between penultimate and last year of school. This is the SAT or the ACT (you choose depending on what the universities you’re applying to will want). You can resit them without the negative association of resat A Levels. They’re multiple choice, cover English and maths. Your school work and teacher recommendations and college application essay are way, way more influential than your UCAS statement. Every student studies everything until the end of school, with just a few choices to drop/add/substitute subjects in the last two years. No chance of dropping maths before 18!

Last four years of school = High School.
3 (sometimes 4) years before that = Middle School
Kindergarten to Middle School = Elementary School.
Kindergarten = 5-6yo, schooling becomes mandatory.
PreK 4s exists but isn’t academic.
PreK 3s exist but also isn’t academic.
Birth to Kindergarten can also just be “daycare”.

4th last year = freshman year
3rd last year = sophomore
Penultimate year = junior year (single most stressful and important year)
Last year = senior year (also difficult for many)

These same terms apply to years 1-4 of university. University degrees are a minimum of 4 years long.

Sororities and fraternities exist and are a thing, but not wanted or coveted by all. They attract certain types. Some people live and die by them; some wear them lightly; some think they’re damaging and unhealthy; some think they’re cringe.

School buses are real and they’re amazing for many families. They’re only for public/state schools although some private schools run their own. Faith schools sometimes have to pay for their own, sometimes have them publicly funded or subsidized.

You have to approach education (everything really) from the perspective of “what do we have to do to make the most money for ourselves and the national GDP?”. School buses help parents get to/from work on time. Summer camps are a thing because they enable parents to continue working through the long summer holidays. Children have way fewer days off and Christmas / Easter (ish) holidays because parents need to work.