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AMA

Is there an AMA American thread?

175 replies

upskilledotter · 16/08/2026 22:06

I have so many (probably really boring) questions to ask of Americans (USA) but don’t know if a suitable thread exists.

OP posts:
Brokedownpalace · 17/08/2026 18:31

Do you have a large front porch? I've always loved the thought of having a large front porch to watch the world go by like they do in the movies.

OhMyGoodieAunts · 17/08/2026 18:37

Is it true that most Americans only get two weeks annual leave and hardly any maternity leave?

CarolinaInTheMorning · 17/08/2026 18:39

Brokedownpalace · 17/08/2026 18:31

Do you have a large front porch? I've always loved the thought of having a large front porch to watch the world go by like they do in the movies.

We have a small front porch with a couple of rocking chair and a larger screened in back porch that we use more often, but it's much too hot for either until late September/early October.

hellospring26 · 17/08/2026 18:43

Why in so many tv shows do they use paper plates and solo cups?

lovingthebeachlife · 17/08/2026 19:29

@canklesmctacotitsinteresting about the school system. I don’t like the way we drop subjects early here

lovingthebeachlife · 17/08/2026 19:30

hellospring26 · 17/08/2026 18:43

Why in so many tv shows do they use paper plates and solo cups?

Makes sense for parties, no washing up

tarheelbaby · 17/08/2026 19:37

lovingthebeachlife · 17/08/2026 17:33

@tarheelbabyActually I remember fences & gates were normal in the parts of LA I visited.

@lovingthebeachlife - I'm not surprised. As I mentioned, in bigger cities, fences are more common. LA is a place people would need to define their space. You'll see fences/gates in all the bigger cities. Many of the smallest towns/cities have urban areas with fences/gates but as you move away from the center, things are more open.

As you mention, there is the idea that someone could just walk up and look in your windows but my experience is that it rarely, if ever happens. I think that there are a few reasons for this. One is that most people are just busy living their lives. Another is that most US properties are very exposed and there is nowhere to hide so anyone peeping in windows will clearly be doing that in front of all passers-by. Despite the lack of fences, it's clear to locals where the property lines are. Someone looking in windows would be very obvious. Even if there's no fence, that would clearly be trespassing and the homeowner would call the police, they would come and the homeowner could press charges.

And it is REALLY normal to ride the bus to school - more normal to do that then not. Most children go to county schools and they are out on the street corners early in the morning to catch the 'big yellow cheese wagon'. Likewise, it brings them home in the afternoons. So children ride the bus with their peers for YEARS!! Bus driving does not pay well and the bus drivers are often just scraping by.

Best places to visit:
Southern east coast beaches will blow your mind. Outer Banks is a series but those beaches are real. The sand is soft and the water is fresh for miles and miles and miles. I've enjoyed many summer holidays as a Brit wife but I've not been to a European beach that compares.

New Orleans - is like Oz and everywhere else is just Kansas ... Everyone living in NO is glad they live there and wouldn't move elsewhere even if paid (cf Barcelona - the rest of Spain is just Kansas ...)

US cities are fun if you like cities. Some are bigger than others. They all have museums, restaurants and bars.

@Loveinbloom , despite the internet, there's still not much to do of a morning and definitely not on Sundays when most places are closed in the morning (b/c everyone is in church, natch) if not all day. It is still a day of rest and a day for families outside the big cities. Sunday dinner (at midday/after church) is just as much a thing in the US as it is in the UK. Lots of states have Sunday opening laws so even if you live in a big city, things are not open.

Church is a place to meet friends and something to do. If you listen to/read interviews with US pop stars, especially the older ones, most of them got their start singing/playing with the church choir... It's hard to make clear how isolated rural areas are - there really is NOTHING to do for 10miles plus and no public transport so no way to go anywhere. (public transport in patchy even in big cities)

tarheelbaby · 17/08/2026 19:39

OhMyGoodieAunts · 17/08/2026 18:37

Is it true that most Americans only get two weeks annual leave and hardly any maternity leave?

In a word, YES.

VeryQuaintIrene · 17/08/2026 19:42

SilverPink · 17/08/2026 09:27

I’d have a question too! How common is it to drink and drive? Every book I read set in the US has at least one character visiting a bar, friend, party, having a few drinks and then driving home.

I suspect it's quite common because public transport is pretty vestigial in so many places and people can't get cabs or Ubers. That said, if you are caught, the penalties are very steep indeed, so it's really not worth it and I think that does deter many people. Not me, but a friend of mine was caught (first time offense) and his license got pulled, his insurance skyrocketed, he had to go to classes for months and he had to do community service, plus all the considerable court expenses hiring a lawyer who, if I recall rightly, actually got him all this as a lower sentence than he might have got.

LibertyLife · 17/08/2026 19:43
  1. Is it common (as in fairly normal) to drink milk with dinner? when you're a kid, yes
  2. Are there tradespeople or services where you aren’t expected to tip? I don't tip any tradespeople
  3. Which area or state would you say was “most American”? we're all equally American
  4. Are school meals expensive or are there any free meals as in UK? school meals were cheap growing up and free below a certain income threshold
  5. What would Americans consider a reasonable commute ( time and distance wise)? it's reduced over the years, an hour would have been reasonable growing up but gas was cheaper!
CarolinaInTheMorning · 17/08/2026 19:54

tarheelbaby · 17/08/2026 19:39

In a word, YES.

It does depend on the job. In professional settings, annual leave can be quite generous as you move up the ladder. And in many jobs in the financial sector, you are required to take time off as a fraud prevention measure (harder to cover up cooking the books if you are out of the office (actually or virtually) for a time.

DH and I recently retired; he had six weeks leave by the time he left. I had less (moved to part time for last several years), but still enough for a nice additional pay check at leaving (paid for AL not used).

Maternity leave can be very short and more and more companies are trying to fix that, but it is still a big issue. Many women will save up leave to add to whatever maternity leave their employer provides, and also if they can do it financially, add some unpaid leave as well.

CarolinaInTheMorning · 17/08/2026 20:00

Are there tradespeople or services where you aren’t expected to tip? I don't tip any tradespeople.

I don't think that there is a general expectation to tip tradespeople (as in builders, etc.) but we do tip sometimes depending on the situation. We recently tipped the cable guy who was finally able to figure out why our TV and internet were constantly going down and fixed it.

ModernV · 17/08/2026 20:05

upskilledotter · 17/08/2026 17:30

Thank you all so much - really insightful and helpful. Hopefully this want become a negative thread - and people feel free to ask questions. I appreciate everyone taking the time to do so.

Can I ask a few more?

  1. Is it common (as in fairly normal) to drink milk with dinner?
  2. Are there tradespeople or services where you aren’t expected to tip?
  3. Which area or state would you say was “most American”?
  4. Are school meals expensive or are there any free meals as in UK?
  5. What would Americans consider a reasonable commute ( time and distance wise)?

Thanks!!

#1. Not with dinner but my DH always has a glass before bed

#2. I wouldn't tip tradesman, i also don't tip fast food places or somewhere like Starbucks.

#3. I would say southern states/Texas. They are probably the typical states that tourists associate real America with.

#5. My DH has a 30 min driving commute, that's pretty standard where we live.

ModernV · 17/08/2026 20:07

hellospring26 · 17/08/2026 18:43

Why in so many tv shows do they use paper plates and solo cups?

Easier clean up. My FIL only uses paper plates.

mondaytosunday · 17/08/2026 20:08

Drink and drive: most Americans think the Brits are alcoholic! There’s no pub culture there and no idea of ‘going out to get pissed’ (unless your a frat boy). Plus, and this may have changed, you can get prosecuted if you serve someone, even in your own home, too much alcohol and they get into an accident. So I’d say people are pretty damn cautious. However everyone seems to drive and use their phone freely!
High schools are indeed how they are portrayed on TV/films more or less. Students aren’t as good looking or as stylish though.
Prom king and queen? No idea but I know proms are less couple focussed than they were.
You don’t tip tradespeople.
School meals are subsidised and are not expensive. We had fish on Fridays and kosher food during Passover. We did pledge allegiance to the flag every day!

ModernV · 17/08/2026 20:11

lovingthebeachlife · 17/08/2026 17:39

@ModernVI just find the idea that someone can walk up to your back door or peek in all your windows a little disconcerting

Sure but that's not really a thing. Can't say I've ever thought about it or see it as a problem. We have ring cameras set up and we live in a gated community so we dont have randoms walking around. Plus we have very strong stand your ground laws in our state.

lovingthebeachlife · 17/08/2026 20:13

I’m sure it’s not a thing, it’s just the idea of it.

In the same vein I don’t like having my shutters/blinds open when it’s dark with the lights on as I imagine someone watching me.

lovingthebeachlife · 17/08/2026 20:15

Following on, do lots of houses have those doors that open from outside and allow access to a basement?

Yes, I have watched too many horror films

dreamingbohemian · 17/08/2026 20:15

Switcher · 17/08/2026 17:38

How hard do people really work? I work for a US company and they all seem like workaholic robots. In the office at 7 and work weekends. Surely they're sloping off pretty early?

Americans do tend to work hard (not everyone of course and it's very sector specific). Partly it's structural, ie less leave and also a lot more anxiety about losing your job (not the same social welfare safety net). And culturally, it's seen as good to work hard and be as successful as you can be (e.g. there's no equivalent of tall poppy syndrome)

I don't think it's good that people work so much but the general can-do attitude can be very positive

dreamingbohemian · 17/08/2026 20:17

Which area or state would you say was “most American”? we're all equally American

Hear, hear :)

CarolinaInTheMorning · 17/08/2026 20:24

ModernV · 17/08/2026 20:11

Sure but that's not really a thing. Can't say I've ever thought about it or see it as a problem. We have ring cameras set up and we live in a gated community so we dont have randoms walking around. Plus we have very strong stand your ground laws in our state.

The nice thing about no fences is that you can sit on your back porch and see a long vista of grass and trees across your neighbors' properties. We have lived here 20 years and not once, to my knowledge, has someone walked up to our back windows uninvited.

pleuo · 17/08/2026 20:27

Sad questions but something I've always wondered:

  • Are you conscious that anybody you meet could be carrying a gun? Is it something you go around feeling aware of?
  • If you have children or young people, do you think about school/college shootings?
pleuo · 17/08/2026 20:28

Btw I think anti-American sentiment is largely a product of jealousy and wanting to bring down a confident, successful country. I think it's an incredible place.

CarolinaInTheMorning · 17/08/2026 20:32

lovingthebeachlife · 17/08/2026 20:15

Following on, do lots of houses have those doors that open from outside and allow access to a basement?

Yes, I have watched too many horror films

Edited

Not where I live. Dig a few feet and you hit a vast underground river.

But quite a few houses in other parts of the country have basements.

On the milk question, children will often drink milk with a meal, but I don't know any adults who do, however quite a few (me included) will have milk with a sweet snack like cake or cookies.

RaininSummer · 17/08/2026 20:38

Question: are many Americans concerned about the environment and trying to reduce consumerism and/or use of plastics, fuel etc?I find the mention of regular use of paper plates indicates a wasteful nature.