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AMA
Original poster

I used to be a blue haired pansexual with a septum piercing...

138 replies

MimmyMoozer · 10/08/2026 08:20

AMA

OP posts:
Whatisthisdamnednonsense · 10/08/2026 15:36

RanniTheWitch · 10/08/2026 12:43

Do you understand that bisexual isn’t trans-exclusionary and pansexual isn’t just a trans inclusive version of bisexual?

Bisexual means you have sexual feelings towards two or more genders. “I like men and women equally but don’t like gender fluid people” and “I mostly like women and non-binary people but sometimes I’m attracted to men” are both bisexual statements.

Pansexual means you have no sexual feelings about gender. “Your gender is not something I’m explicitly attracted or unattracted to” is a pansexual statement. It’s kind of like how most people don’t have sexual feelings about eye colour. You notice eye colour, you might think somebody’s eye colour suits them, but you’re unlikely to find it “sexy” in any way. That’s what it’s like for pansexual people and gender.

I don’t understand much of what you’re saying here unfortunately. I only understand

gay
straight
bi

when we’re talking about sexuality.

Whatisthisdamnednonsense · 10/08/2026 15:40

Ramallamading · 10/08/2026 14:55

Wasn't a compliment, it's brought a lot of nasty people out but it is Mumsnet so there you go

Show quote history

Where are the nasty posts here?

TicklishReader · 10/08/2026 15:57

This AMA pushes the notion that people who support and welcome trans people and the queer community are some odd "woke" subculture that dyes their hair bright colours and has piercings. I have seen this narrative in some pretty awful places on Reddit.

The truth is most of us go about our lives happily co-existing with those people, no uniform required.

OP, you sound like you have left one "tribe" and jumped right into another.

Original poster
MimmyMoozer · 10/08/2026 15:58

Whatisthisdamnednonsense · 10/08/2026 15:40

Where are the nasty posts here?

Show quote history

I'm assuming its the women that are saying same sex attraction is valid and a boundary that should be accepted.

OP posts:
HenriettaHippopotamus · 10/08/2026 18:07

ThisShyTaupeFinch · 10/08/2026 13:42

Questioning a suspiciously tailored thread on a public forum isn't the same as silencing anyone. People's real experiences deserve to be respected, but obvious bad-faith rage-bait should still be called out. Bringing up detransitioning as a gotcha misses the major clinical studies show detransition rates are extremely low (typically under 2% to 5%), and most cite social pressure rather than a change in identity.

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Any links to these major clinical studies on detransitioners?

Gribouille · 11/08/2026 04:16

Thank you for this thoughtful, sensitive and well-written thread! I'm finding it fascinating.

Especially the tomatoes on toast - blowing my mind...

😁

EvieBB · 11/08/2026 06:00

Whatisthisdamnednonsense · 10/08/2026 15:36

I don’t understand much of what you’re saying here unfortunately. I only understand

gay
straight
bi

when we’re talking about sexuality.

Show quote history

Same here. I don't understand that post at all ha and kind of glad I don't! Far too complicated lol

ShesRunningOutTheDoor · 11/08/2026 06:56

I’m happy you are able to be yourself now

Slimtoddy · 11/08/2026 07:47

I think everyone is at risk of being persuaded to believe something that is illogical. What steps do you take now to ensure you are not persuaded of something? Do you ever find yourself believing in something and then something alerts you to nonsense. Are you more alert than people who haven't had your type of experience?

Comtesse · 11/08/2026 07:59

MimmyMoozer · 10/08/2026 12:32

Make sure you put 2 pieces of toast together into one toaster slot. So the outer 2 sides get toasted but they kind of sticks together from the uncooked middle.

Show quote history

Now that really is deviant….

slashlover · 11/08/2026 10:01

I'm asexual. Not autistic. No medication. No hormone issues and certainly not a "cultural" thing.

I'm 48, I've known I'm asexual from about the age of 13 when all my peers started fancying boys. Although I didn't learn the term asexual until my mid 20s.

I think a lot of young 'asexual' people are probably ND, shy, lack confidence and are just, what we used to call, 'late bloomers'

You know asexuality isn't actually about who you date but who you're (not) attracted to? Plenty of ND/shy etc people have crushes or are attracted to people.

Original poster
MimmyMoozer · 11/08/2026 10:28

slashlover · 11/08/2026 10:01

I'm asexual. Not autistic. No medication. No hormone issues and certainly not a "cultural" thing.

I'm 48, I've known I'm asexual from about the age of 13 when all my peers started fancying boys. Although I didn't learn the term asexual until my mid 20s.

I think a lot of young 'asexual' people are probably ND, shy, lack confidence and are just, what we used to call, 'late bloomers'

You know asexuality isn't actually about who you date but who you're (not) attracted to? Plenty of ND/shy etc people have crushes or are attracted to people.

Can I ask, in your whole life you've never found anyone attractive? Even a film star/famous musician? Or had sexual feelings for someone? Do you have sexual feelings at all or just not towards people?

Please do not feel obliged answer if you don't feel comfortable in doing so, am genuinely curious but its a very personal subject.

OP posts:
Dontlletmedownbruce · 18/08/2026 09:12

Are you open and honest with your teens about this? They were babies so must have remembered some of the phase. Do you talk openly about autism now?

Thanks for this thread OP it's been very insightful

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