I used to be a blue haired pansexual with a septum piercing...

[MimmyMoozer]

AMA

Good to know you are happy now.

I can only base my opinion on my experience.

As a young ND teen I wanted to be a nun.

Why? Because I was super religious? Felt the calling?

Nope. Because I was aaaabsolutely terrified of my developing body, boys and the prospect of a sexual relationship.

Being a nun would have solved all that. I said I wanted to be a nun for years and even asked about it in school at the careers fayre 😅

I absolutely would have 'identified as a-sexual' instead if that had been a prevalent thing back then.

Great post, I can deeply identify with this. Also a weird thing we all did that might resonate with you - it was ok to call out boys/men, but only if it was in a witty, outsmarting them way, but god forbid you just called it out head on, in a humourless way. That was just NOT The Way. It was so exhausting and ridiculous.

Would it be fair to say the thread title could say "I used to be confused and had a piercing" AMA

I’m salivating. What an amazing toast topping. I’m taking Worcester sauce though.

Isn't it funny how we are told to 'be kind' and listen to trans/LGBTQ peoples experiences but when someone from that community talks about their own lived experience of a same sex relationship with a trans person and it doesn't fit in nicely with the agenda, it must be a lie?

The same way detranistioners were 'never really trans' or just are such a small percent that they don't really matter.

Absolutely, though it was several piercings and I feel the blue hair really added to the ensemble so didn't want to leave it out.

Make sure you put 2 pieces of toast together into one toaster slot. So the outer 2 sides get toasted but they kind of sticks together from the uncooked middle.

Oh god yes, absolutely this!

Sorry OP, don’t want to derail you! I find it interesting you were emo, as that label popped up as a very teenage-attracting one when I’d sort of got too old for that (so I had a goth blip but not an emo one), but from where I was standing at the sidelines it was as though that were one of the ‘first’ labels where identifying as having a sad, deep, lost edge was quite mainstream? Do you think that fed into the evolution of these labels that in some ways are very exterior labels for interior things?

Did you have proper primary blue hair, or the pastelly, washed out shades which seem to the choice of the TQ+ lot? As an ex goth (I actually look like in undead in black now!!), Im sad that blue hair has become a shorthand for trans and TRAs, but then I remind myself I haven't seen any proper blue blue hair out amongst them.

Do you understand that bisexual isn’t trans-exclusionary and pansexual isn’t just a trans inclusive version of bisexual?

Bisexual means you have sexual feelings towards two or more genders. “I like men and women equally but don’t like gender fluid people” and “I mostly like women and non-binary people but sometimes I’m attracted to men” are both bisexual statements.

Pansexual means you have no sexual feelings about gender. “Your gender is not something I’m explicitly attracted or unattracted to” is a pansexual statement. It’s kind of like how most people don’t have sexual feelings about eye colour. You notice eye colour, you might think somebody’s eye colour suits them, but you’re unlikely to find it “sexy” in any way. That’s what it’s like for pansexual people and gender.

I think one of the joys of ABCdom is anyone can use any definition they like. Obviously this causes confusion but then one has the chance to educate. Just like you’ve done. Hurrah!🙌 high five.

Bisexual means you have sexual feelings towards two sexes.
Bi= two
Sexual = sex.
HTH

I read a little of the research on asexuality and it seems to say "we asked a load of people if they are asexual and lots of the younger ones said yes and they were more likely to change their mind than the older ones but it's DEFINITELY A STABLE IDENTITY".

@MimmyMoozer can you tell us what happened when you went to the trans festival as an ally?

Genius. Thanks!

Depends. Lots of women on the metal and rock scene have coloured hair (Alissa White-Gluz, Courtney LaPlante, Lena Scissorhands, Arrow de Wilde) and it doesn't carry the same connotations there I think. It's just to make you look like a bad-ass.

That is absolutely disgusting! You should be cancelled!

When you were fully in that world, how did you feel about people who weren't? Or were critical? Could any of them have said anything to make you see the light or was it just something you had to reach in your own time?

If you were talking to your younger self, how would you approach discussing what you know now? Would it make any difference? Is it just something you had to work through and come to your own conclusions?

Did you ever come close to doing yourself any irreversible damage? Either physical appearance or through drugs/surgery?

@MimmyMoozer do you think it will pass because I think it's getting worse

Questioning a suspiciously tailored thread on a public forum isn't the same as silencing anyone. People's real experiences deserve to be respected, but obvious bad-faith rage-bait should still be called out. Bringing up detransitioning as a gotcha misses the major clinical studies show detransition rates are extremely low (typically under 2% to 5%), and most cite social pressure rather than a change in identity.

Wanting to be a nun to avoid puberty isn't asexuality; it's fear of growing up, and equating the two completely misses the point. Clinical researchers aren't confusing childhood anxiety with sexual orientation. Studies specifically filter out social fear, trauma, and developmental apprehension to identify true asexuality, which is defined by a consistent, long-term lack of sexual attraction; not a desire to hide from boys or body changes. Your personal experience adds to your own story, but it doesn't define an entire group or change scientific reality. Using a past childhood phase to declare that millions of people are just "terrified teens" is a logical fallacy. You are projecting your own past anxieties onto an entire orientation and ignoring decades of peer-reviewed data just to avoid admitting the science contradicts your narrative.

Another HUGE part of the breakaway was me going and attending a 'trans festival' in the town centre of my city as an 'ally' with some trans friends after my relationship ended.
I think that was the last straw for me and I think I blocked and ghosted a lot of people after that experience.

Can you say more about this bit?

That's not true. You can educate yourself and then base your opinion on research/facts as well as your own personal experience.

My Grandma smoked 60 a day her whole adult life and lived fit and well into her mid-nineties. I'm not bound to think that smoking is good for you because 'I can only base my opinion on my experience'. It'd be a mad world if we could all only ever base our opinions on our own personal experiences!